I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

That is shocking. I've never seen anyone behave like that it the gym before. Definitely report it

Edit just seen they were banned. Horrible bitches

Cunty fuckers like that would be shown the door at my gym. We are a good old mix, right from the gorgeous little girls in lycra to the old ginners that could crush a bison but look like a string bean. We all shuffle along together and all say hello and what are you working on. I wish you'd come to where I go, because you'd have had so much support. Chin up.

Cunty fuckers like that would be shown the door at my gym. We are a good old mix, right from the gorgeous little girls in lycra to the old ginners that could crush a bison but look like a string bean. We all shuffle along together and all say hello and what are you working on. I wish you'd come to where I go, because you'd have had so much support. Chin up.

So glad to hear the gym took this seriously.
well done to you for not putting up with this.
Hope you’re proud of yourself.

Great update Op! So glad they took you seriously.

Don’t let those little gobshites put you off going to the gym your braver than me I won’t go anywhere near the gym. I go swimming instead. Go back to the gym don’t let the wankers win. Report them to the gym they should be able to sort it out.

That's excellent, so pleased the gym has responded so quickly and taken action!

I am so sorry. It’s shocking.
their behaviour is all about them. That you go to the gym and you are working at losing weight is fantastic and you should be applauded. Please keep going. You will get results.

Well done op
Its took lots of personal courage to face your gym demons. Even more so to report those girls.
Hopefully they will think twice before being so bloody rude and unkind

Teenage girls can be mean bitches but please don’t let that derail you. The fact that you’re there is fantastic. Keep going and just focus on you. Honestly, most people aren’t looking at who is around them in the gym but I can understand how it makes you feel.

What a couple of little bitches.

One of my close friends is obese but she is committed to exercising. She has a BMI of over 35 but still gets into a swimming costume to swim, gets into her leggings to walk/run, and I really admire her for that.

Please don't let it put you off the gym. You're making an amazing effort.

Great news op. So pleased you spoke up at the gym and they have addressed the situation. Hope you continue to go now.

I completely understand you.Do what’s best for you—your peace of mind is what matters most.I just suggest reporting those people if you feel like you want to, of course.Then, don’t go back to that gym if you’re uncomfortable.You could try searching for other gyms and maybe ask around for people’s opinions.

I must share the experience of obese family members who feel a profound sense of embarrassment about going to gyms. They ended up spending money to build home gyms and watch free educational videos on YouTube, while also using AI platforms to find the best routines tailored to their own goals.

Yes please do report. They need reprimanding and a threat of expulsion. They have most likely breached the t&cs of being members and are also a very bad advertisement for the gym. They need putting in their place by the gym management.

Sorry, hadn’t read your update. Pleased to read about the outcome.

That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!

I'm really glad this gym took such a step; I hope it becomes a standard practice for all gyms if it isn't already.

I’m really sorry, OP, for everything you’ve been through and continue to deal with. This isn’t about me at all, but I can say from experience that those feelings of shame from school can stick with you for a lifetime—especially when it happens during adolescence, when our minds and bodies are changing so much.

Part of me wants to say “forget them,” but I know it’s not that simple. Keep your head up and prioritize yourself. Bullies hate being challenged, but that’s often what’s needed. I so please they have been dealt with and banned.

You don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.
I mean, if gym is not for people like you and me what’s even the point? Gyms are there for people to get fit. Girls are young, self absorbed and frankly stupid. Once they hopefully get some more grey matter in those little heads of theirs, they will realise that this type of behaviour just shows their biggest insecurity. So it doesn’t even reflect on you, it’s on them!

Some people are cunts!

It’s easy to show up at the gym when you’re young and fit and look good in gym wear and you’re meeting a friend and you don’t have any hang ups about exercise or your body.

What is not easy is forcing yourself to do something well outside of your comfort zone with all the hang ups about your body, with a long history of really negative experiences related to exercise. I think you’re nothing short of amazing. They, on the other hand, are vile shameful human beings.

As others have said not all gyms are like that at all. I go to a bannatynes gym and have found the clientele tend to be older and not judgemental at all. Everyone is very nice. Filming isn’t allowed. (I can only speak for the one near me), but there are loads of gyms. Please find one with a different clientele. I promise you they’re not all like the one you describe.

You are bigger than them (and I don’t mean physically!). ❤️

Great news OP. And you keep at it (gym work).

Girls can sadly be the worst imo. It’s sad as we should be encouraging each other, I find it sad how some have to belittle others to make themselves feel good, how sad must their lives be.

I think what you’re doing is amazing, youre going to the gym and doing it. I have also restarted the gym as I am overweight, it’s not easy I know. Keep going, whatever you do it’s better than sitting on the sofa. I think you will soon see a marked difference and be proud of yourself.

forget the small minded cretins, ignore and enjoy!
oh and put a complaint in, who says they haven’t done this before and people have left. They need a word with, or if you fancy it and they do it again go over and confront them and watch them squirm, bet they’re two very weak and shallow people.

I’m really pleased for you!! Horrible bullies, got their comeuppance 👏👏👏

So sorry this happened OP. This might sound trite, but it’s true: The value of a person really isn’t determined by how physically big or small they are! It’s determined by who they are, what they do, and how they make other people feel. The attitude & actions of those girls indicate they are not very worthy people (hopefully they will become much wiser with the benefit of age & experience). You are clearly a very worthy person, and you really mustn’t let them put you off achieving everything you’ve been working hard for and deserve. I agree you should report them, and please keep going to the gym. It sounds like you’re doing brilliantly, and what happened today is purely a reflection on them, not on you!

This obviously doesn't help how it feels, but you have got a bit unlucky. This is somewhat rarer behaviour in gyms, and wouldnt be tolerated by many.

Unfortunately people like that do get everywhere so it can still happen.

Staff at a good gym will listen if you mention it, and keep an eye out. But there's not much advice that can help how it can make you feel. The obvious ignore them, but we all already know that part and it doesn't change the mental impact.

Check out some other gyms as well, and maybe talk to them before deciding to get a feel.

So chuffed to read this @CinnamonCrunch33. You deserve to walk in there with your head held high

YANBU to feel the way you do. The way PE at school made me feel meant I didn't even attempt any exercise until I was 32. I am so so sorry that you've had so many incidents where people have been unspeakably cruel.

What the girls in the gym said, says so much more about them, than it does about you.

It's much easier to become fit and healthy than it is to become a good person. You might be unfit, but you can do something about that - they're stuck being thoughtless cruel bitches.

I really hope you can take some time to lick your wounds and then get back in there, because you have done so well losing some weight and working on yourself.

As others have said, independent gyms tend to be far less cliquey, and male-focused gyms where the boxers and bodybuilders go are perversely far less intimidating and full of friendly people who genuinely want to help you improve your fitness and form.

As a first port of call, I'd be talking to your current gym, explaining what happened and tell them it's made you feel like you aren't welcome. You can see what their response is like before deciding whether or not you want to go back there or not.

But please - go back somewhere. We're all cheering you on.