I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Oh I just saw your update - they've been banned!

Great news - well done for standing up for yourself, and sparing other gym goers from similar vileness.

I bet their appalling parents are angrily screaming down the phone lines to Pure Gym, having been fed a load of crybaby bullshit. I hope they do. I personally would enjoy giving a few home truths to whatever parents dragged these little toe rags up.

Can I just point out that not everyone working out in front of a mirror is doing it for the sake of vanity. Some may be, but checking correct form is a thing, and important for preventing injury when lifting.

And I will be heading back. Not tonight because it was a rest day but tomorrow!

Unfortunately you have to deal with bitches like that in life. Try and ignore them.

I cried when I read your update. Good for you. I am a far from lithe gym goer and everyone has always been really nice. We're absolutely doing the right thing by going. Bloody PE in school is horrid (I say that as an ex teacher).

So glad you're going back. I went to a ballet scult class this week. I mean, me and ballet are never going to be a thing, but when people are supportive and nice it makes all the difference. Took me years to actually join a gym (and am definitely healthier for it) and I'm so glad you confronted the nasty mean girls xx

Great they found out actions have consequences.
So chuffed for you op.👍

Oh yes but I didn't see the woman posting in perfect gym wear with perfect hair and make up touch a single weight or machine! I am sure she just went in took pics and left. Judging by the look I shared with the woman opposite who caught my eye, she thought the same!

Please do not let a couple of Mean Girls derail your fitness journey! Of course it hurts and it has made you feel self conscious in an environment that is often challenging at the best of times, but not everyone at the gym will think the way they do… others will look at you with admiration and respect you for doing something that is great for you! Please put it behind you, they do not deserve another thought! Do it for YOU x

Sure, but that’s why I said “some”. By no means all.
if someone is lifting or working out in front of a mirror they’re likely to be watching for correct form rather than just being vain. It’s a misconception.

I’m so pleased that you plucked up the courage to take action and didn’t just leave the gym. This update is amazing. Well done to pure gym too for putting morals and standards above membership fees. I’m kind of half hoping that the teenage girls parents complain and get sent the video of their darling children as a reason as to why maybe not really but would serve them right. Onwards and upwards and enjoy your gym sessions.

I felt awful with the mirrors today - had a top on makes me look v awful (I have low self esteem). Enjoyed the class less because of it It's a big big deal to many of us. Came home and binned the top. Serioously, so many of us really struggle with being accepted at exercise.

Just wanted to say, I’m so glad you went back and got rid of those awful girls, and I’m also very glad you’re continuing. I’m also large, and go to the gym, fortunately I have a relatively friendly inclusive gym so it’s not too bad, but I always feel awkward. I see girls/women my size and bigger working out and I think thank goodness I’m not alone! There will be plenty of other girls who are inspired by you making an effort and for that reason alone you have to keep going 💪🏻

I’m so pleased that you stood up to them and had a positive outcome. Get back to the gym and work out your frustration and anger on the machines 💪💪💪👊

“It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced ‘hah’!” xx

I go to my local council gym. It’s a little run down and tatty but has a really normal mix of people and no gym bunnies/ muscle men. Is there one near you?
Don’t give up because of two silly girls.

Yesss OP! Good for you. Well done for reporting them and so glad they were dealt with. Keep smashing your goals at the gym. Everyone’s fitness journey is their own. The people who matter will build you up and celebrate your achievements. I’m the biggest person at my gym. But I show up 3-5 times per week, am consistent and out 100% in. That’s what matters. Size isn’t everything. If you’re going regularly and following a plan, you’ll be fitter than half the people with memberships there.

Honestly gyms are the least intimidating place. Most people are too busy doing their own things to notice anyone else (unless your gym crush comes in and then I get all flustered 😬😳).

I'll occasionally look in the mirror to admire my sun tan(it's about the only thing that looks good on me) or the fact I don't look fat at that angle when I know the opposite is true.😂 I was a massive gym bunny but didn't look like your typical gym bunny. Now I'm a lazy, perimenopausal, try to go as much as I can be bothered, ex gym bunny.

Fabulous! Serves them right for being such horrible mean girls.

Blimmin well done. Go back with pride.

Much as I despise the mean bitches who mocked you for having the guts to do something that's bloody HARD, I'm so chuffed for your victory over them. I know it won't make them better people, but pissing them off is brilliant.

I hope your weight/fitness journey continues to go well. You are awesome!

Op their behaviour says more about them than it does about you. They clearly have a lot of growing up to do

So pleased you had a positive outcome. Fully recommend the book Stronger by Poorna Bell. It unpicks women’s poor relationship with strength and fitness, starting in school with PE, and how the narrative around women needing to be tiny is damaging our mental and physical health. The stories in the book around finding physical and mental strength as a woman are so inspiring. I think you’d appreciate it ☺️

I think it's brilliant you are going , you should be so proud. I was terrible at cross country too, and still struggle with the gym. Teen girls can be just horrible, honestly so mean at times . Don't let them win. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Oh well done for getting them banned, OP!