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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

444 replies

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:43

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

OP posts:
Parr1960 · 21/10/2025 21:57

Get Joey Swoll up on X (twitter) and show his posts to them and also the management at the gym!

Miracle29 · 21/10/2025 22:06

Do not give up op! Those girls are silly little girls that have nothing else better to do. Just bullies! I know comments are hurtful and degrading but your there because you want to be and that on itself is something to be hugely proud of. Get some music in your ears, ignore anything around you and carry on. Do you have a friend to go with for extra confidence. Honestly op just be proud of yourself. Don't give up keep going!

Alasar · 21/10/2025 22:11

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I second what someone said earlier about looking for a small gym. I'm in one and the support everyone gives each other is fantastic. I've made some great friends there. And I was not one bit sporty as a child or teen.. i was shit at it and never encouraged to do well. Now I have found my people so to speak and I love it. Hope you are OK and best of luck with your journey

CinnamonBuns67 · 21/10/2025 22:13

I voted YABU because don't let them bloody win. They are small minded and nasty and whilst you can change your weight by keeping at the gym, they'll always be small minded and nasty. Big hugs I know it's hard when your confidence is knocked like that but you can do this.

LongGinShortTonic · 21/10/2025 22:18

PinkCrab · 21/10/2025 19:40

So pleased you had a positive outcome. Fully recommend the book Stronger by Poorna Bell. It unpicks women’s poor relationship with strength and fitness, starting in school with PE, and how the narrative around women needing to be tiny is damaging our mental and physical health. The stories in the book around finding physical and mental strength as a woman are so inspiring. I think you’d appreciate it ☺️

OP well done and I wish I had your courage.

I did a 40 minute workout session recently which I ended early when three teenagers in the gym giggled at what I was doing and copied me in a sarcastic way and made me feel about a foot tall. It took me ten days to get back in there.

Look at me and you’d say I’m a gym bunny. But I’m really not. I’m still the overweight girl who was crap at PE and hates sports. I get so easily intimidated. My point is, you’re far from alone.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I’ve just ordered it.

You took action. Be proud of that. Go back in with your head held high.

Snakebiters · 21/10/2025 22:19

Have you heard of this girl OP? She didn't let the bullies win. Hold your head up, go get it. 👊

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/cOp53_1xxDE?si=Dy-b_j4Bt36J5hz0

NewPersonHere · 21/10/2025 22:28

I voted yabu because you ought to go back and report them…and you did! Really well done, and hopefully the girls will have learned a lesson. You’ve given Puregym some amazing publicity; I’d join based on their prompt response to what happened!

Wayk · 21/10/2025 22:42

Well done. These nasty people needed to be brought down a notch. I am delighted for you.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 21/10/2025 22:50

I’m so pleased for you, OP. Well done on getting these truly vile people banned. Everyone starts somewhere. Every visit is progress. Keep at it - you’ve probably inspired someone on here.

Autumnleaffall · 21/10/2025 23:52

Make an appointment with the duty manager and show them your post. They need to revoke the membership of these girls. What you are doing regarding your health is heroic. If they try to fob you off persist. Bring a friend for support. Don’t take this rubbish. Make a difference.

MissMoan · 21/10/2025 23:54

First of all, @CinnamonCrunch33 you are amazing. It sounds like you overcame many barriers to make it to the gym, and you should be proud of how strong you are.
What those ugly girls said is absolutely a reflection of them, and I am sorry they made you feel embarrassed.
You are awesome. They are the embarrassment.

Millertime9 · 22/10/2025 00:01

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:43

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

I rarely post on here but I seen this and felt compelled to

Firstly, you are making the effort - thats infinitely better than most people, you've already started so well done

I lost 2.5 stone in the last year and I was self conscious at first too but believe me, it subsides after the first few weeks

You sound like a lovely person please do not be put off by those idiots - it sounds like they aren't destined for a great future if thats how they act
I know im a stranger , but im proud of you

Keep at it, the health and mental benefits are infinitely worth it and you'll thank yourself even just a few months down the line
Keep at it!

TicklishMintDuck · 22/10/2025 00:07

You need to speak to the staff at the gym about this if it happens again. Don’t let these kids put you off.

Rainbowqueeen · 22/10/2025 00:10

@DBD1975 said it perfectly. Your young self would be so happy and proud to know that you stood up for what is right.

Well done to the gym as well for taking it seriously.

Have a great gym session tomorrow

TicTac80 · 22/10/2025 00:32

So proud of you OP for going and reporting them. How dare they treat someone else like that?! Who do they think they are?! I'm so glad you're going back. You have as much right to be at the gym (and wearing what you want to wear!), as anyone else. I'm glad that the gym took swift action too.

Don't go thinking about your size compared with other gym goers, none of that matters. From my time of using the gym, I saw people of all different ages, shapes and sizes. I bet you're a damned sight stronger and fitter than many. Be proud of yourself, and your achievements and determination :D

GaIadriel · 22/10/2025 00:52

CinnamonCrunch33 · 21/10/2025 15:09

Just as an update.

I managed to get in before work. They took down the time of the incident and checked through CCTV, and pinpointed the time. They have left me a voicemail this afternoon to say they managed to track back and find the girls entering, found their membership numbers and they’ve been banned, effective immediately. I’m really pleased!

Nice one! 💪

whattodo22222 · 22/10/2025 00:58

I have been training in the gym for over 10 years and have competed in bodybuilding and powerlifting. I respect everyone who shows up to the gym, huge well done to you. Those girls might not even be in the gym next week, please don't let them influence the things you do for yourself. Try to find an independent gym rather than a large chain, they typically have a nicer community feel. All the best with your strength journey 💪

GaIadriel · 22/10/2025 01:09

whattodo22222 · 22/10/2025 00:58

I have been training in the gym for over 10 years and have competed in bodybuilding and powerlifting. I respect everyone who shows up to the gym, huge well done to you. Those girls might not even be in the gym next week, please don't let them influence the things you do for yourself. Try to find an independent gym rather than a large chain, they typically have a nicer community feel. All the best with your strength journey 💪

I agree about independent gyms. I've never seen anybody that's serious about lifting laughing at somebody starting out. I've got a deadlift just shy of 3x my bodyweight and I could never imagine ridiculing somebody who's had the grit to get in there and do it.

Debenezer · 22/10/2025 01:31

CinnamonCrunch33 · 21/10/2025 15:09

Just as an update.

I managed to get in before work. They took down the time of the incident and checked through CCTV, and pinpointed the time. They have left me a voicemail this afternoon to say they managed to track back and find the girls entering, found their membership numbers and they’ve been banned, effective immediately. I’m really pleased!

I’m so happy for you. Please don’t let these immature girls dent your confidence, especially as you have endured so much cruel bullying throughout your life. Yet having gone through all this, you’ve still managed to force yourself out of your comfort zone. And you haven’t given up despite these bunch of mean girls putting you down. You’ve had the last laugh as they are now banned and hopefully will realise how their bullying behaviour has consequences and they will think twice in future. You are such a strong person to return to the gym. So many, including myself, would have given up at this point. I’m so glad that you reported it and that the gym took it seriously and took positive action. You can workout again, knowing that you don’t have to dread bumping into these girls. Keep going, you can do this xx

notatinydancer · 22/10/2025 03:13

That’s a great outcome 👏

Wordsmithery · 22/10/2025 03:37

Well done for going and an even bigger well done for persevering (which I do hope you will). You could maybe go at a quieter time, if there is one. Like when those nasty little girls are still at kindergarten 😀.

FeistyFrankie · 22/10/2025 05:41

This happened to me too. I also finished my workout early. I did go back though, but it really pissed me off that these girls were behaving so rudely in the first place.

Definitely complain OP - they are likely teenagers who have zero manners. Don't let them get to you. Tell the staff, so they can deal with it. It needs to be brought to their attention. It is harassment and I'm sure they'll want to know about it.

Going forwards, if this gym has an unwelcoming and judgmental vibe, can you look at joining another gym in your area? Maybe have a look at gyms that have a minimum age of 18, or that tend to attract an older crowd. In my experience they tend to be more welcoming and inclusive.

Well done for going though - don't let what happened affect your confidence and your momentum!

CuddlyPug · 22/10/2025 05:58

Great update - those nasty young women deserve to be banned.

Scrambledcrumpets · 22/10/2025 07:29

OP as others have said. Please don't give up. You are amazing for taking the first steps in getting healthy. As I always say, if you are out trying, you are lapping everyone on the sofa! Don't let some tw@ts stop you from achieving your goals. You've got this!

indoorplantqueen · 22/10/2025 08:01

Well done op for raising this horrible behaviour. I wish more people felt brave enough to address it. Please don’t give up. When I see larger people running/ going to the gym I think fair play as I know it’s not easy (I’ve been there).