I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Agreed. I'm coming up for 66 and weigh over 14 stones. I've been checking in the mirror when I do side raises.

What nasty bitches they are. I'm sorry you were subjected to such horrid behaviour OP. As PPs have said I'd report them to management and if they take no action, then they are as bad as the girls. In that case try to find the kind of gym where this kind of behaviour isn't tolerated.

Good luck xx

Excellent result OP, well done.
That child who was bullied at school on the cross country run would be so very proud of the person you have become 💜.

You can change the way you look but they will never, ever be able to change the nastiness inside of them. Well done for reporting it!

CinnamonCrunch33. Please watch this video. Best video on Youtube.

Brilliant result! Hopefully those girls will realise their actions have consequences and they rethink how they behave in future.

I’m so pleased they haven’t deterred you from going back, best of luck on your fitness journey 🩷

Sorry to hear you were laughed at by a bunch of half wits silly teenage girls. If you can't find a more supportive gym near to where you live

I appreciate it is not everyone who lives in large cities with lots of facilities.

Why don't you ask your GP if there are any women only NH exercise groups near you. I went to one for stiff , painful joints and met a whole cross section of different age group women
.It really helped me.

Failing that could you afford to buy some an exercise bike and running machine you could use at home?

Hope you find a solution soon.

Best Wishes

🫰🌻😻

Xxx

O this makes my blood boil.

Don’t let these little pricks detract that you are doing amazingly well. I know firsthand how hard it is trying to change your body, well done OP, you do you.

Report it to the gym, and if they don’t back you up out then for their body shaming environment on Twitter.

I've always hated gyms, PE teachers and mean girl (and boy) types for exactly the reasons you mention, those girls sound bloody awful and have no idea what life could hold for them in the future. Absolutely report the little snots.

It took me a long time to find a type of exercise I enjoyed which for me ended up being yoga and pilates though even then it took a while to find the right style and teacher. I did stay away from snotty type classes though and went for more low key local options. Best of luck, I'm sure you'll find somewhere more suitable with nicer people soon.

Edited to add, just read your update - excellent results and I'm really encouraged by your standing up for yourself and getting such a good outcome.

I put YABU but only because I am willing you to get over these awful people and continue doing what you want.

These pictures you sometimes see of larger people who have lost loads of weight exist because it happens. Most of your weight loss will be down to diet but please keep going with your exercise as so much food control is about mood, and exercise really helps with that.

I like the idea of mentioning your experience to the gym staff.

I go to a Bannatyne's gym. Put it off for years because I thought it would be full of gym bunnies. It's not. I also love that one of the PTs is quite large. But very understanding, encouraging and inspiring. We all deserve to look after ourselves without nasty comments x

Well done!

Also, I hope they don't tell them. They turn up and get laughed out of the gym reception 😈

Am so sorry you had that happen. (If you are in London feel free to DM me)
I really believe I might have a solution for you.
Definitely you are at the wrong gym with at least some very stupid and nasty customers. I am at a lovely gym with a great group of women that have joined via a free joint pain course. I am floppy and flabby and when I jump in half the water tsunamis out, but it’s the same with the rest of the group and we really have the best fun, great camaraderie, and there’s loads of us.
On thinking about it, there have been a few random idiots on the gym floor, men and women but honestly when you’re with pals you’ll be having such a laugh you won’t even notice them.

Good news OP, well done! It must have been hard to talk about it again.

I'm glad they've taken action - there are a few posts on this thread slating puregym and its clientele but I go to one and there are posters up there about fostering an inclusive/safe gym environment etc so good to see they appear to put their money where their mouth is.

I've also in several years of going there (and having been to a lot of different, and much more expensive gyms over the course of my life) never had any negative interactions - to be honest it's probably the gym where people are most likely to just get on and workout while ignoring everyone else out of every one I've ever been to. It's also a lot cleaner than the private golf club/hotel gym I went to before I switched!

I have to say I personally would be sceptical one of the more expensive gyms would do the same thing - puregym have the pack 'em high and sell 'em low business philosophy - cancelling 2 individuals paying £15 p/m out of 2000 memberships is one thing, I'm sceptical whether David Lloyds or whoever would be as willing to cancel 2 £150 memberships.

What horrid little pathetic losers they are. Hideous brats. You are worth 100 of them, don’t let their awfulness invade your thoughts. I wish I’d been there to give them what for.

So glad this worked out the way it should have!

I just feel so angry and sad reading this. That people can be so nasty to another person for no other reason than that they are overweight. I had to stop what I was doing to write this I was so cross. I don’t usually get cross at a mumsnet post! Fat shaming another woman by women is just so low.

I want you to know that if I’d witnessed it I would have stepped in and shamed them to within an inch of their lives. And I’d want you to know that you totally do not deserve such appalling treatment . I’d want you to know that not everyone thinks in the same shallow way as those girls or kids at school.

You deserve to be able to train in a safe environment away from arseholes. Oh they may be young and slim or whatever but inside they are truly ugly. The same for the ones at school. Beauty is inside of us first and foremost. Please know that. I know it was a trigger. But don’t let them win. Don’t let it control you.

I hope you can find the strength and resilience to go back and do your training and get yourself fit. Healthy. Confident . Not to fit any societal norm or acceptance but purely to feel good inside for you.

I also hope you find a way to enjoy the gym again. I started going a few years back. I used to run but had to stop and initially resented being indoors but I’ve got into a good routine with weights and cardio and I’ve got so strong and toned up. It’s become a really important part of my mental and physical well-being. I get a great feeling now when I walk in as it’s my time for me.

I know I’m not a young beautiful woman with a crop top and Kardashian bum but I’m finally good enough for me. I’ve finally learnt to love my body.

I hope that one day you can find the same peace. I’m routing for you!!

Please don’t give up. Don’t let them win. You are worth so much more.

So sorry to hear you experienced this. I typically find young people to be quite kind these days, so those nasty bitches are an anomaly, but no less upsetting.

I once heard a group of young boys shouting something at me when I was out running. It could have been "Jog on pig" or "Nice arse" for all I know. I wouldn't have a clue because I had my headphones in.

I walked back to them, asking what they said. They wouldn't repeat it. I insisted. They crumpled. I ended up getting all up in their faces, shouting "Not so brave now are you, you cowardly little shits"!

I sometimes forget my size and think I'm 6ft and 200lbs!

Firstly, well done you!! It takes a lot of bravery to go to a gym alone and start to work out! I’m sorry those nasty people made you feel like that! It’s hard not to let it put you off but they are the ones that are shameful and you did nothing to deserve that! I’d definitely report them and maybe try to find a smaller gym. If you can book in with a trainer for a few sessions so you aren’t alone and ease back into it with someone who has your back?

for what it’s worth, I also got laughed at when I last went to the gym, by the person running the fitness class I’d signed up to. I asked for some assistance as everyone was grabbing weights and mats etc and I had no idea what I needed. He asked when I last worked out and I said about a year ago as id had a baby with a very high risk pregnancy so couldn’t do much during that time. He laughed at me and told me to go to the gym a few times before coming to his class as he didn’t think I’d be capable. I wish I could tell you I stayed and proved him wrong but instead I left and cried the whole way home.

I found a new gym and cancelled my membership at that one!

keep your chin up x

What a bastard!

I hope you report this OP, I definitely would have if I hear any bullying comments from people.

Also, please don't give up - I got called fat when I was wearing leggings as well by silly kids and other remarks on separate occasions.

Don’t let their rudeness negatively impact your life.
maybe look for a friendly woman’s only gym.

I have recently started going to the gym - very overweight and very unfit. I actually joined a while before I found the courage to actually go…. The voice in my head tells me that everyone was looking at me and laughing at me bright red on the slow settings but every time those thoughts crept in I counteracted it with ‘but at least I’m here’

I KNOW it’s really hard but use them as motivation. They were cruel and unkind and they are not nice traits to have…. You are putting your health first by going, drown them out and keep going. You’ve got this!

You super star!!!!!! Well done!!! Keep at it and all the best.