Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

[ThatRealBlueQuoter]

So this year me and my 5 children have moved from Birmingham to another town due to domestic violence got my children into school my 15 ds has been through a lot with my ex husband one of the main ones been strangled until he passed and and cracked his head open on a table this I feel is relevant to the permanent exclusion my son has received from the school.On the day my son got permanently excluded him and another lad had been messing about in class as a “joke” this boy has pulled out the chair from under my ds making him fall and bang his head my son has then got up and punched the boy four times in the face,I’m in no way dismissing this behaviour he no’s he done wrong and is very ashamed he told the teacher been hit on the head is a trigger for him he knows he shouldn’t of reacted like that,I went to a meeting after a 5 day exclusion with my son to try and plead his case the headteacher wouldn’t budge and handed me the permanent exclusion letter she basically said my ds is to much of a risk ,I found her to be very dismissive and not understanding at all is this worth appealing?the student who done this to my son received a punishment but I wasn’t allowed to be told what it is,I know he is still attending the school my son will now have to go to a behaviour centre my argument is really that shouldn’t the school at least have offered help anger management etc he only has 9 months left before he leaves it is the first time he has actually enjoyed school now the school are trying to get me to sign a letter and they are saying if I do the permanent exclusion won’t go on my sons record?Im in no way condoning what my son has done,can anyone offer advice

Just be careful, we had a child permanently excluded who was in alternative provision whilst Mum appealed. The AP was very clear that, if the appeal was successful, and the child was legally permitted to return to mainstream school, he would lose his place at the AP. Just make sure the PRU doesn’t have the same conditions.

You can appeal and not want the placement at mainstream back. Most appeals I deal with aren't to get back in.

Best of luck to you and your son OP.

I hope the PRU is a nurturing place and he succeeds.

Thankyou very much

Yes this is what I want I feel he will be better of in a PRU but I would stilll like the PE overturned

Thankyou I have already found out it will be our choice and even though my son wants to back to mainstream he understands that he will not get the help and support he needs so has said he wants to remain at the PRU this shows me that he is genuinely remorseful and wants to change

I’m glad that it appears to be a much more positive situation, whether you are able to overturn the exclusion or not.

I honestly think that a specialist behaviour unit could be the best thing for him. I’ve never worked actually in one, but I’ve worked with kids who’ve been in them part time, or are being reintegrated into mainstream after a period in them. (Hoping I will work in one eventually). These units have much more funding per student than mainstream schools, a much better staff to pupil ratio, and there will be staff trained in supporting children with exactly this sort of problem. It’s not a punishment, it’s a step in the right direction. Your son’s been through a lot and if he doesn’t get help it’s very likely that he’s going to end up in serious trouble when he’s older. He’s being offered some help, for goodness sake take it.

Your son needs specialist help and schools aren’t equipped for this. He obviously has anger management problems - and no wonder after the way he himself has been treated. I know you said he was enjoying being at school but the school can’t risk him attacking anyone else. What the other pupil did was stupid but you said yourself it was a prank. Giving someone four punches in the face is assault. I hope he gets the help he needs.

I don’t think the ds has anger management issues.
He has PTSD which very different. Do you think there are places suitable to support a teen with PTSD. Like PRU where he is more likely to be around people that WILL trigger his PTSD.

Id also argue that what the boy did wasn’t just a prank (and a crap one at that). The OP’s ds banged his head so badly that he ended up with a lump on his head. So the ‘taking away the chair from underneath him’ was done violently. Otherwise hed just have lost his balance.
A prank that result in injury is not just a prank. And on the lerson in the receiving end, it will be like an assault. Very rightly too.

This is a situation where things are much more complex than ‘the OP’s ds has anger management issues’. And an appropriate answer is unlikely to be ‘send him in PRU with all the violent kids’. Not for the ds.
(and that wo going into the fa to the school,diesnt seem to have followed procedures anyway. What with the fa to the other boy is the son of an MP).

The OP DOES need support. Counselling etc… but ha … yes … the school didn’t do anything at all (look he is always so calm and quiet. He doesn’t need support right?). And the NHS is … abysmal.
Its much easier to blame a 15yo though because he has ‘anger management issues’

Unfortunately the purpose of the permanent exclusion isn't to unpick the reasons behind it. It's a very literal process. Absolutely question the process and whether it's been followed correctly but you won't be able to question the other students punishment etc within this process. The evidence is that your son punched another student 4 times, therefore triggering a permanent exclusion.

@MaurineWayBack

’send him in the PRU with all the violent kids’

In my experience ‘violence’ is way down the list of reasons kids get sent to us either short or long term.

Yes I’m not going to question the other boys punishment it has nothing to do with me I just want to make sure the school followed procedures properly and that my ds has been treated fairly