Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

[ThatRealBlueQuoter]

So this year me and my 5 children have moved from Birmingham to another town due to domestic violence got my children into school my 15 ds has been through a lot with my ex husband one of the main ones been strangled until he passed and and cracked his head open on a table this I feel is relevant to the permanent exclusion my son has received from the school.On the day my son got permanently excluded him and another lad had been messing about in class as a “joke” this boy has pulled out the chair from under my ds making him fall and bang his head my son has then got up and punched the boy four times in the face,I’m in no way dismissing this behaviour he no’s he done wrong and is very ashamed he told the teacher been hit on the head is a trigger for him he knows he shouldn’t of reacted like that,I went to a meeting after a 5 day exclusion with my son to try and plead his case the headteacher wouldn’t budge and handed me the permanent exclusion letter she basically said my ds is to much of a risk ,I found her to be very dismissive and not understanding at all is this worth appealing?the student who done this to my son received a punishment but I wasn’t allowed to be told what it is,I know he is still attending the school my son will now have to go to a behaviour centre my argument is really that shouldn’t the school at least have offered help anger management etc he only has 9 months left before he leaves it is the first time he has actually enjoyed school now the school are trying to get me to sign a letter and they are saying if I do the permanent exclusion won’t go on my sons record?Im in no way condoning what my son has done,can anyone offer advice

I am sorry but I honestly don't know.
We review each case individually and speak to the child/parents/teachers and any other relevant parties.
Even with all that its not my place to suggest what is best for the child. I am just there to ensure proper procedure
I have on occasion asked the Teacher (not in front of the child or parents) if they will reconsider but if not then I can't do anything and to be honest I do usually take the lead from the teachers as I know them well and know they really try very hard to do what is best for all the children in the school.
The Deputy Head who usually oversees the PX has the patience of a Saint.
I can't speak for all schools but at our PX is a last resort and not a decision taken lightly
My DC were at Private and just one in the (often very long list) of things a child has done at the school would have seen them expelled. I appreciate that your son only acted once and there was mitigation but I think that the level of violence shown means this school is not the best place for your son

@TesChique you wouldn’t even overturn if the school had unlawfully turned a suspension into an exclusion?

I wouldn't overturn an exclusion that began immediately after a suspension of five days and in exceptional circumstances, no.

The immediate threat to safety of the pupils is, I imagine, that exceptional circumstance.

@TesChique but why would that have changed from when the decision to suspend was made

Thankyou for the reply I appreciate it

Incident was more serious than first thought? New evidence from CCTV, witnesses etc?

Extent of boys injuries come to light?

I think you should 1000% fight it. get proper advice, but until then use ChatGPT as best you can to help you write a case. Is he doing well in school? Include that in it. How is his behaviour at school normally? Include that in it and include everything about the domestic violence past. If he’s in therapy, get him into it or sign him up to some.

Once he’s in a behavioural unit, the education won’t be the same and he will probably leave with very poor grades regardless of how well he does now. At least you can say you tried, even if you are unsuccessful.

1000%?

Something jumped out at me from one of your previous posts:
"when we came to the school we were told to forget everything and this is a new start with it been said no one will know about my son’s background".

Now, if they just meant that he had a clean slate from the point of view of his own behaviour, that was an act of compassion. But if they mean that the staff wouldn't know that they had to use a trauma informed approach to your son, because of the horrific situation he had come from, then actually I think you do have an argument that the school failed your son. And presumably you know which was meant - if it was the second one, then mention it in any appeal/discussion with PRU etc

You’ve had excellent advice already from Hoppinggreen and others.

If you haven’t already, get onto gov.uk and read the guidance on school suspensions and permanent exclusions. One important thing to note is that, after the governors’ meeting, the next (optional) stage, if you want to pursue it, isnt an appeal - it’s a review. The independent review panel will be focussed on whether the permanent exclusion was lawful, reasonable and procedurally fair.

Well the Deputy head actually said I won’t even tell the teachers they were his exact words though I’m sure he would of though

Then that seems...odd. And to my mind a failing by the school.

Sorry OP not in any way I can see. The school has to be concerned about all the children and irrespective of your family history (which is horrific and awful) other children shouldn’t be exposed to that level of violence in school. The majority of children would never have known that sort of violence nor should any child. A school should be a safe place.

It isn’t the right place for your son who clearly can’t control his anger.

Punching a kid four times in the face/head at that age is horrific. If your son did that to my kid I would want him excluded and would fight to have him stay excluded. Think of the other child.

OP I know your son doesn’t want to end up like his dad and it sounds like you will move mountains to not let that happen ….but….he did act like his dad. Please understand that.

There is a reason it’s called the cycle of abuse. He may not want to but it’s a learned behaviour and as a child he didn’t know any different.

Your son needs to be in a place that works for him with a lot of counselling.

@bluefluffytreesthat just isn’t true and does a complete injustice both to the staff that work in PRU’s and the students that attend.
We do the core subjects, several vocations and every student in my last cohort is now at college. They also had access to a counsellor, thrive specialists, much smaller classes, anger therapy much more. It keeps very vulnerable students IN education.

I really don't think you should fight it op, I know you're saying the other boy wasn't excluded but you really can't compare the two acts, one was a daft joke that ended up hurting someone (should be punishable by suspension or isolation) and one was a sustained attack with the sole intent of hurting someone.

Yes, your son may have reasons for reacting in that way but the school can't take the risk of him doing it again, if he goes out at age 16 and attacks someone in that way he could kill or seriously injure them and the law would deal with him.

Try and get him in to a good PRU or behaviour unit, I hope he gets the help he needs to prevent him becoming just like his father.

@TesChique but that’s the thing there had to be more evidence etc for them to change it, and that is what the panel and OP need to find out. Detailed explanation maybe in the pack as they may have headteacher’s notes on file showing the reasoning for a PEX after suspension.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter included in the pack should be information on whether your DS’s individual learning plan (or whatever they call it in your school) has a record of the previous trauma your DS had suffered (actual details of the attack from his dad may only be available for some members of staff but a note of family trauma, potential triggers, support, reasonable adjustments etc should have been available for all staff) If there was nothing then panel may think school have not taken everything into consideration and provided enough support for your son.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter do your DC have a social worker?

Yes I do understand it but I’m going to go to the ends of the earth to make sure nothing like this ever happens again

I get that and and I will make sure I get all the help and support I need I just want to make sure the school followed procedure properly

Of course fighting it is her instinct but it won’t work. The PRU is a good service and pupils do successfully rejoin mainstream.

My son has now got a place at a pru it seems very nice the staff seem amazing he will also be able to sit his GCSE’s and has hopes of working in the music industry or a train driver I have spoke to sen officer and someone at a place that help with children’s exclusions they said I have some valid points so I will continue with the appeal even if it gets overturned I have decided to keep my son a the PRU unit as they have anger management,therapy,life skills etc and I think he will have a greater chance of passing his GCSE’s as he will be getting a lot of one on one thankyou to everyone who replied respectfully in this thread its very much appreciated and to the ones who said some nasty cruel things I pray to god your dc never experience trauma because it doesn’t sound like they would be very well supported ❤️

Has he got an EHCP? It sounds like he has significant needs in the area of social emotional mental health due to the trauma he has experienced.

Is he reactive normally (it wouldn't be surprising with a high level of trauma)? If so, he may be better in a smaller, trauma in formed type setting.

Speak to school and see what their thoughts are? And definitely challenge the exclusion. It sounds like he needs more support not a permanent ex.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter I hope your son thrives! I think you are doing the right thing and I wish your son all the success :)