Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

[ThatRealBlueQuoter]

So this year me and my 5 children have moved from Birmingham to another town due to domestic violence got my children into school my 15 ds has been through a lot with my ex husband one of the main ones been strangled until he passed and and cracked his head open on a table this I feel is relevant to the permanent exclusion my son has received from the school.On the day my son got permanently excluded him and another lad had been messing about in class as a “joke” this boy has pulled out the chair from under my ds making him fall and bang his head my son has then got up and punched the boy four times in the face,I’m in no way dismissing this behaviour he no’s he done wrong and is very ashamed he told the teacher been hit on the head is a trigger for him he knows he shouldn’t of reacted like that,I went to a meeting after a 5 day exclusion with my son to try and plead his case the headteacher wouldn’t budge and handed me the permanent exclusion letter she basically said my ds is to much of a risk ,I found her to be very dismissive and not understanding at all is this worth appealing?the student who done this to my son received a punishment but I wasn’t allowed to be told what it is,I know he is still attending the school my son will now have to go to a behaviour centre my argument is really that shouldn’t the school at least have offered help anger management etc he only has 9 months left before he leaves it is the first time he has actually enjoyed school now the school are trying to get me to sign a letter and they are saying if I do the permanent exclusion won’t go on my sons record?Im in no way condoning what my son has done,can anyone offer advice

Exclusion rates are at an all time high and I think this is symptomatic of a failing education system that has lost its sense of rigour and empathy.

I work with younger children and see scratching, biting, a child being pushed causing a broken arm. How this is handled is extremely dependent on the ‘class’ of the child involved. One child facing suspension /another child doing the same thing but the incident being ‘hushed’.

I also think teachers are far, far more complacent and less accountable than a decade ago.

I completely disagree and think you're talking nonsense.

What is it that you think teachers were previously accountable for that they aren't now?

How are teachers complacent? Behaviour has deteriorated since COVID. Teachers are at increased risk of physical violence. It's hard to be complacent when you can't even be sure that you'll go home without bruises.

Staff that I know have bucket loads of empathy. Hence we don't exclude the kids who are biting us, because we know that their actions are a result of their needs.

As for rigour - some teaching is less rigorous than a decade ago. That's because the students can't cope with that level of rigour. They start school barely able to speak or wipe their bottoms, so we need to start there before teaching our rigorous phonics programme and the rest.

Please go and view & talk to the Center they want him to go to before making up your mind . These places do great work & usually have therapeutic facilities. Class sizes are usually 5 Kids but no more than 10 . He will take exams & go to college in September. You can ask the school for alternative provision where they send work home & he is allowed to take exams . Talk to your local council

Honestly, I believe you and your family would be better supported if your son just went to the PRU. Fresh start for him, more support for the family, much more used to dealing with children from very complex circumstances.

Good luck with it all.

A governors panel isn't the school Vs the parent. The parent and child are encouraged to attend, statements are given etc. OP doesn't need legal representation for this meeting.

Please ensure that your son isn't responding to any messages from the other boy

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

Well done for getting away from your ex! Managing the harm from it is always hard.

Do get whatever Domestic abuse support you can for you and your son.

Counselling is a good start, but to be honest, it sounds like he has PTSD, he needs trauma work. He may well be angry, but I think there’s more to it than that.

In terms of appealing, not sure to be fair, go with what other previous posters have said.

Good luck, you have a tough journey ahead of you!

Yes it really isn't
We are generally VERY sympathetic to parents and DC who are in front of us, often to the annoyance of The School but I am also very aware of keeping other pupil safe while getting the child concerned the best support available.

Thankyou and yes I’m real considering the pru as it does seem nice

He has blocked him but is now receiving messages of other children sadly but I’m making sure they are saved and will be going up to the school later on today

Yes that would be great thanks regarding your points no the boy’s parents took him to a and e as I’m sure anyone would I’m not sure of the outcome but I do know he was in school the next day
myveon was provoked no anger directed at anyone else and he was compliant straight away with staff etc,the point you make about a weaker teacher it was actually a supply teacher,do you mind me asking why you mentioned that please also my son has already wrote a letter to the headteacher and the boy on his own account he would like to become a firefighter or a train driver in the future thankyou

I'll reiterate, you don't need legal representation. You do urgently need to speak to the local authority if you haven't already done so because you have a right to take someone to the meeting with you. This doesn't need to be a legal person. The meeting isn't to prove something, its to make sure that the correct process has been followed.
It's got nothing to do with the governors meeting who the other boys parents are etc, please don't go down that rabbit hole. It's not relevant that it was a weaker teacher or a supply teacher. As an example, I recently attended a governors panel as a local authority representative because a young person made a paper dart and threw it at a teacher, young person had a history of persistent disruptive behaviour. The school only have to prove that they have followed their policies and the statutory guidance from the DfE. It really isn't any concern of yours what happens to the other boy, annoying and frustrating as it is.
Your questions to the panel should focus on whether the school has followed their policies and your son's remorse at this situation.

I really wouldn’t bother appealing, I would instead put all my energy into engaging with the behaviour unit / PRU staff, and help them to help your son to turn things around. I think you’ll be surprised when you see the support they have on offer there compared to in a mainstream school. Tell them what your son has been through and what you’ve all been through as a family. They specialise in helping kids like your boy who have had adverse childhood experiences (ACES). A year or so ago there was a story of a kid who went from a PRU to Oxford university, thanks to the support he’d had there. This doesn’t need to be the end for your son’s life chances. But right now a mainstream school is not the place for him. Wish you all good luck

I really don't think it would be advisable for the OP to go to the police. What would she say when the police ask why she thinks this boy is sending nasty messages? "Oh, well, last week my son punched him in the head 4 times"? If the police aren't involved at the moment, the OP and her son should take that as a win.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

Just a hunch! The school I work in - there is a child I can see heading for exclusion - and he ONLY acts out when it’s a certain member of staff who doesn’t handle him the right way. Yet, that member of staff is never asked to address their behaviour management strategies - it’s always deemed to be the fault of the child.
That’s great that your son did that. I’d take copies of the letter he wrote to the meeting, that’s genuine remorse.

We had a child who needed surgery after they were pushed over - same boy who pushed child was biting, scratching, drawing blood. Affluent family so it was all hushed. Child is MUCH better now and doing well.
Anothdr child who - I’m sure - is on the path to exclusion has not behaved as badly as this at all, but less affluent family and he is getting completely different treatment.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter the pack you receive for the panel meeting should be redacted so no other names of young people should be included and they won’t be mentioned by name in the meeting, it will be child A etc. Governors should not know who the other student involved is.

The text messages you are receiving are a separate matter and should be reported to school

Yes this is all completely true
When we hold a PX panel we ask parents to bring Bank Statements so we can make sure we only treat poor kids unfairly.

Not correct. Names should be given in case they are relevant, e.g. if the witness is someone with a grudge or is a known liar, or couldn't have seen what they said they did because they weren't there. If there is a particular reason for keeping a name quiet, the school will have to make a case for it.

I am not so sure, at all the PX panels I have sat on we never got the names of any other children other than the ones in front of us.
We have had "X(Px'd child) and the other child involved have had issues before" or similar and I have seen a Head tie themselves in knots to not describe a child as a liar or troublemaker but make it clear they are.

Could I ask what you would do in this situation would you agree with the school do you think a PRU is better for my son thankyou

Ratafia, I'm not sure how many permanent exclusion packs you've seen. Other students involved are always referred to as A, B, C etc with only the PEX student named. There is no written element of describing the problems between particular students and even a behaviour log will be redacted.

Hi, I'm so sorry you and your family went through that, poor boy. Has he had any counselling? Did the school know his past trauma?

The head teacher made the correct decision, your son is not safe to have in the school after what has happened. That is the bottom line. He can still sit his exams at the centre and go on to further study. How is he feeling now?

I used to be a governor

This will not get overturned.

There's not a governing board in the land thatll not back a HT excluding a pupil who punched someone FOUR TIMES in the head.

Rightly so.

Your sons lucky hes not facing charges! If i were the other sons mother he would be.

Focus on working out his issues instead

@ThatRealBlueQuoter The previous secondary school I taught in, a Y10 boy punched another boy who said something about his mum, and knocked him out, then punched him again, despite this boy being unconscious. Then then punched the teacher who pulled him off the child.

He was PEXed but appealed, and won his appeal based on his home circumstances.

But... both teacher and child pressed charges, and the police stated he was not to set foot on the school grounds, so he ended up having to do online lessons via a website which he hated.

It's great that your son understands the severity of what he has done, but sometimes in these circumstances a fresh start would be much better.

Completely ignore @ViewFromTotherSide post. No, you will not be able to sue the school, the suggestion is laughable.