Why do British people (at least on MN!) Have such issues with adults celebrating birthdays?

[BlazesBoylansHat]

This has always been really striking to me & I've been on this site on & off for at least 15+ years.

The idea that adults like to celebrate their birthday brings out such negative reactions. I've never understood it!

Is it a cultural thing?

I'm Irish & we generally love to celebrate & speaking for me & my circle, we see the joy in marking these occasions as so many dont get that privilege.

But MN is another world when it comes to this!

Why is that?

It's a Mumsnet thing. On here if your husband didn't get you a card or present or forgot your birthday and you're upset by that, you're told to pull yourself together and stop being so ungrateful.

In real life I don't know anyone, from 21 to 91, who doesn't like at least to have a card, a present, and to have a nice meal with a cake or something a little bit special on their birthday.

Well, my decision about my own birthday is that I don't want it acknowledged, and never tell anyone when it is, and family know not to remind me.

I am happy to celebrate other people's. In my first post on this thread, I was really referring not to people's personal choices to celebrate their milestones, but to certain workplaces that insist on inflicting 'big birthday' announcements on people without checking if that's what they want.

I think that’s true. See all those ‘I don’t have friends to avoid drama’ or ‘All I need is my Own Little Family’.

But I think Mn also suffers from a particularly potent dose of an ingrained cultural injunction against attention-seeking.

The worst thing you can be is an ‘attention-seeker’ for Mn. And throwing yourself a birthday party, or wanting cake, champagne and a fuss, is the ultimate in attention-seeking. The horror.

I love a birthday and so do all my family

@MrsEmmelineLucas I honestly have never met one of these shorts wearing under heaters !!

I suspect it’s a personal preference really and nothing to do with nationality.

Im Irish and adult birthdays are overlooked by my family…. Although I love mine. I get teased for booking the day off work for it and buying myself treats.

I did discuss it with my mum, she said that birthdays are for children only. Which I don’t agree with but it seems to be that opinion is quite common.

I absolutely agree with the last paragraph. Being selfish is also seen the worst thing on here. But sometimes it’s ok to be selfish. It’s totally fine to want one day of the year to be about you. Or to look after your own interests, its so good for your mental health to be selfish once in a while. Perhaps some of the party poopers should try it. Might put them in a better mood.

I’ve never known British people, either on MN or IRL, to have an issue with celebrating birthdays. Most people seem to do as they please and not care what others do or don’t do. The only time it ever becomes an issue is if someone doesn’t want to celebrate their birthday, and others insist on celebrating it for them, but I don’t think that’s particularly a British thing.

YANBU @BlazesBoylansHat. Mumsnet suffers from an over abundance of Fun Sponges and Mood Hoovers.

I love a celebration.💃💃💃

Love celebrating birthdays in whatever way the birthday person likes best. We celebrate all birthdays in the family, and all sorts of occasions. I’m not a big one for Halloween but the rest, I’m good.

and god forbid and adults wants a Christmas advent calender…… or an Easter egg

I agree.

I think that if more women were selfish, they’d be happier. And I love attention. I have no issue with other people enjoying it.

You haven't met my BIL then. He sneers at us coldies.

Mumsnet is indeed full of neurotic martyrs but I don’t see much of the hatred of birthdays that people are saying the whole forum has.

I usually see, for example, an OP angry that her DP won’t take the day off work for her Wednesday birthday and is she being unreasonable to be angry with him? A few replies say that a good compromise is to move the celebration to the weekend, and then someone pipes up with a ridiculous exaggerated misleading summary of those posts, along the likes of “I knew the funsponges would find this thread. Woe betide anyone who wants a card on their birthday”.

The same people who won’t use a tumble dryer as a matter of principle, and insist that their washing dries on their washing line just fine on a drizzly day in November.

I know quite a few adults in real life who'll say they don't really celebrate their birthday and are a bit surprised when other people are keen to, as if it's slightly attention seeking of them.
I love mine & always try to get a few people together & enjoy it.

No, a modest sized salad does me just fine thank you….

Using up the lettuce, cucumber and tomato that has been in my fridge for a fortnight does the job perfectly… heaven forfend if anyone who suggests extravagant nonsense like beetroot and coleslaw.

I voted YABU because I wasn’t aware that that this was a thing. Even on MN.

I like to do nice things for myself most days of the year! Not particularly that bothered by birthdays although I normally go out for a meal with DH and am often on holiday at the time, but coincidentally due to the time of year.

Yes, I wouldn't extrapolate average poster on MN = average British person.
You could equally swap birthdays for hen dos, work christmas party, baby shower, any wedding costing more than a few hundred quid...if you based your expectations solely from MN you'd think these were niche activities that people only attended at gunpoint and hated every second.

I know a few people (myself included) who aren't fussed about celebrating their own birthdays, but don't know anyone who begrudges other people celebrating theirs, if that's what they want to do.

Or the... "how is your monthly shopping bill coming to £££?? Mine is only £20 and that is for 2 adults, 3 dc, 2 dogs and a cat" 🤣🤣

😅😅

You do know the vast majority are not from Britain on here lol....never heard any British person not want a good birthday bash and my job takes me all over the UK not heard it before lol

I find this surprising, everyone i know celebrates their birthday at least a bit.