Why do British people (at least on MN!) Have such issues with adults celebrating birthdays?

[BlazesBoylansHat]

This has always been really striking to me & I've been on this site on & off for at least 15+ years.

The idea that adults like to celebrate their birthday brings out such negative reactions. I've never understood it!

Is it a cultural thing?

I'm Irish & we generally love to celebrate & speaking for me & my circle, we see the joy in marking these occasions as so many dont get that privilege.

But MN is another world when it comes to this!

Why is that?

Do you think everyone who celebrates is childish ?

So it’s a you problem.

I don’t like being the centre of attention either but I still celebrate my birthday (go off and do something solo) and others’ birthdays however they like (within reason) because why not celebrate the day you were born and another year of life and possibilities.

I think people are a bit more ridiculous and dranatic (especially with the emotional manipulation) when it comes to Christmas. The amount of moaning about it on MN alone is way more compared to birthdays.

I don’t have a big celebration for mine because in my culture it isn’t a thing, but each to their own. If someone wants me to help them celebrate their birthday I am happy to take part.

To be honest @BlazesBoylansHat I don't know a single person in real life, who thinks it's odd to celebrate birthdays as an adult. I'm sure there are a few, I just don't know any!

I'm not arsed myself as I'm an old gimmer, and CBA with my own birthday. But I don't think there's anything wrong with celebrating birthdays as an adult. And I love making a fuss of others. My DC, my DH, my extended family, and my friends etc... Flowers, chocolates, wine, smellies, socks (for the men, never for the women - why is that?!) 😆 And multiple other goodies that they like!

I like putting up birthday banners, and getting a cake for them, and lots of treats! What's not to love? Only on Mumsnet do people diss adults celebrating birthdays. It's a batshit parallel universe on here!

It's just one of those weird Mumsnet things. To belong on Mumsnet you must:

Make a small chicken last a family of six for a week
Be unable to eat a children's meal at a restaurant without being so full you feel physically sick
Have six foot tall rugby playing sons with hollow legs
Hate your mother in law (but call her "D"MIL anyway)
Secretly judge fat people (and openly judge them on here)
Start every thread with "is it just me...?"
Complain that people decorate for Christmas too early, on Christmas Eve

And, of course
Think that adults celebrating their birthdays are incredibly childish.

@DontGoJasonWaterfalls Ha, ha, totally!!!

And don't forget, when someone says they do a certain thing, and another poster does it, that other poster must say 'are you me?' 😜

😂

It's usually an attempt to suck some joy out of the OP or another hapless poster who mentions celebrating.
Also, it occasionally involves having a drink, which is Very Bad in the mumsnet universe, almost as bad as answering the front door.

Because they can't be bothered to get cards or gifts for other people and consider being invited to a resturant or party as a personal affront because they might have to pay for a meal or taxi. Rather than simply decline, they feel deep anger and resentment towards the birthday person and try to belittle them by saying they're immature/entitled/selfish/narcissistic to want to celebrate with other people.

Ive never met anyone IRL that thinks anyone over the age of 8, who wants to celebrate their birthday is entitled/childish/unreasonable etc. There's almost a sense that people are somehow superior for not being interested in trivial things like birthdays or cake, or food in general 🙄

A year or so ago, an OP was upset because she had arranged a birthday party for something like 50 people and 12 turned up (iirc) The amount of posters downplaying it and making excuses for people who had said they were going just not bothering to turn up. Rather than accepting it would be disappointing, that people cba and they had spent money on lots of food, and a venue that could accommodate a much larger amount of people

No she wasn’t. She was asking if she should. Most people said she should do what she wants. However lots of posters said having a part - or even the dinners the OP was having - was vain and attention seeking. Didn’t see anyone say she should have a party.

Well I personally love a birthday celebration. I don’t need a reason to have a party. Mine, DPs, the kids, my friends, my mom, my sister. I don’t care. I like celebrating people I love.

I’m not bothered about presents and cards or fancy dinners out or whatever but it will be a cold day in hell before a birthday of mine passes without cake.

Why is it childish? I don’t understand that viewpoint.

I love a birthday, me! Yay! I made it through another year - go me! I live Christmas too. I expect I’ll be thrown in the MN gulag before the night is out!

The problem I tend to see most, that posters react negatively to, isn’t with people proactively organising and celebrating and enjoying their own birthdays, it is with people being strange about other people in their lives not making them feel “special” enough, or guessing the right present for them or someone not remembering , or not getting a surprise on their birthdays, or being upset they are married to someone who is not as into birthdays as they are or similar.

I’ve only ever seen that attitude on here. It’s horrible and miserly.

i have been on here for many, many years and I remember back in the day, if someone mentioned a sad birthday posters would post nice things, maybe add a bunch of flowers ,

it’s only in more recent years I’ve seen this mean attitude about adult people who have been overlooked on their birthdays.

if someone hasn’t received a card from their partner or children there’s a suggestion that they’re divas or princesses for having a vague expectation of recognition on their birthdays.

it doesn’t take much to make someone feel thought of or special on their birthday.

My issue has been that I had friends who seemed to think I should be excited/obsessed with their birthdays whilst totally ignoring mine.
So I ignore theirs now too. I’m sure some of them think I’m mean for it.

I don't have issues with adults celebrating their birthdays (though I do hate mine); but I do have some issues with the current emphasis on 'big' 'milestone' birthdays. Why not just celebrate people's birthdays, without rubbing in their age to this extent? In the past, it was just your birthday, after your 21st.

Same here!

Don’t forget no Christmas presents for adults, a £5 engagement ring, a £20 wedding and a baby at just the right age, one week too early and you are a young mum.

Rubbing it in? Are we supposed to be ashamed of our age now? Every year is a bonus in my view. Celebrate the bigger number.

I don't have a husband, kids, parents, or siblings, and often spend my birthday alone - but I still manage to celebrate it. I do have friends who I go out for coffee or a meal with, but never on the actual day.

I also usually spend Christmas Day alone and still manage to enjoy it, but even if I didn't celebrate and was lonely I certainly wouldn't rain on anyone else's parade.

However, some posters do seem to think the world revolves around them and their wants when it comes to celebrations.

It's not about being ashamed of our age. But focus on age in younger people tends to be associated with increasing pressure to meet certain goals and conform to social expectations, and focus on age in older people tends to be associated with increased threat of ill health and ultimate death.. I didn't like being pressed to celebrate the former when I was younger, or the latter now I'm older. Yes, some other people's mileage may vary,

Tends.
It’s not inevitable. And it’s you who decides on how you view it for your own birthday.

I feel that the progression of age is a privelege. My mum died aged 45, when I was 22 and I was 50 on Thursday. We should all celebrate our journeys around the sun, even if we've had a crap year. You've survived another one!!!!