to be sick to the back teeth of cliques at the school gate?

[squinny101]

I am sick and tired of cliquey groups of mums at the school gate all trying to out do each other and my ds school seems to be particularly bad. Its like how many after school activities can one child do. I am looked down upon (and itied) because I work every evening and god forbid I am divorced (says in a whisper) and have children with my current partner as well.

Oh how they enjoyed the fact that my ex-husband was at a party and they got to gleefully tell me on the Monday morning. I felt like saying 'its OK I know what he looks like'.

Sick, sick, to the back teeth of it. I make nothing but an effort to be nice and kind (even taking one little boy to school whenever it rains) and all I seem to get is bitchy remarks and one woman in partiuclar looks me up and down so blatantly it makes me feel like I have not put my trousers on.

Please tell me your stories - make me feel better.

muddypuddle - my elder stepson and my daughter are very relaxed children and love school, friends, parties etc. My second stepson is bored silly at school right now (but that is the French education system for you - he is in the last year of primary school and totally understimulated) but we are pretty sure that he will be much happier next year in secondary school where he'll be stretched more (since his brother, and dozens of our friends' children, had the same experience at 10 or so).

No hatrick its the one beginning with H. So it happens at the one beginning with K as well.

So I'm not just an emotionally unintelligent, shy, paranoid freak etc. etc.

I don't let it fill my headspace at all. I would just like to go and collect my son from school without feeling like I'm being judged by parents who I'm sure are no better no worse than me!

I have met a lovely Mumsnetter at the school gates - I hunted her down and accosted her!

LOL @ Anna8888

You're rather making the OP's point for her. I was veering towards the morningpaper view of things that it was just paranoia and that there weren't really mothers at the school gates seeking advantage for their children through networking with people with "something interesting to say for themselves".

What I find completely baffling is that people think that they are the only interesting person with a child at their school! What are all the others, Stepford wives?!

At my ds's school parents are high flying career people, ex-high flying career people, SAHMs, musicians, cleaners, a bus driver, a fire fighter, an artist, a vicar, shelf stackers in tesco, a driving instructor, carers, a town planner.....and a hundred other life stories that I don't know. How can there not be interesting and congenial people in that lot, and why is it wrong to make friends with them and chat to them in the playground?

Having re read most of the posts on this thread the jist of the comments seems to be that it is RICH women who like to show off who are horrible, not SAHMs or WOHMs or people who like to chat at the school gates, for the sake of accuracy can we just decide to dislike them and leave everyone else alone!

I think its worth bearing in mind that some mothers have children in secondry school and have known each other for years. My eldest is in reception and I would never expect to have the depth of friendship after 2 terms that some of the other mothers have after 15 years. Just because other people are talking to each other does not mean that there is a conspiracy to exclude you. If someone is rich or good looking or drives a big car it does not mean that she is looking down on you so maybe some of you should get over yourselves and be a bit less judgemental.