to be sick to the back teeth of cliques at the school gate?

[squinny101]

I am sick and tired of cliquey groups of mums at the school gate all trying to out do each other and my ds school seems to be particularly bad. Its like how many after school activities can one child do. I am looked down upon (and itied) because I work every evening and god forbid I am divorced (says in a whisper) and have children with my current partner as well.

Oh how they enjoyed the fact that my ex-husband was at a party and they got to gleefully tell me on the Monday morning. I felt like saying 'its OK I know what he looks like'.

Sick, sick, to the back teeth of it. I make nothing but an effort to be nice and kind (even taking one little boy to school whenever it rains) and all I seem to get is bitchy remarks and one woman in partiuclar looks me up and down so blatantly it makes me feel like I have not put my trousers on.

Please tell me your stories - make me feel better.

I've never equated chatting at school gates with giving my children opportunities. Different mindset obv

So how do you find about the best ballet classes or tennis? The best summer language camps on the planet? How older children have fared at entrance exams to schools (and what the parents did to make theirs a winning application)? etc etc etc, if you don't talk to other parents in the same boat.

I have gained a wealth of information without even trying.

My partner's ex, who is one of those WOHMs who snubs the school gate, doesn't have a clue about the very best opportunities available to her children or to how to go about securing them.

Message withdrawn

best ballet classes? If you want to secure the best opportunities to your child, please please avoid best ballet classes.

I talk to people.

I just don't happen to consider it highly important networking that is ensuring the very best for my children. I would find that wanky. Just a different mindset.

I think you are missing out on something, pointdog.

Knowledge is power

I talk to people because I like talking to people, really. Didn't talk that much at the school gate though. I can't make small talk in English, for some reasons.

Policy, that's lovely. Maybe there is an upside.

Anna, Pshaw. What utter tosh. Best ballet schools???? Entrance exams? How to make the best application? WHHHHAAAT? The quattro children will stand or fall on their own merits. Anyhow they don't have to sit any entrance exams. They did that when they were 3 and all they had to do was play with a bit of sand ... Oh and cut somethings out. Hardly something for which an inside track was needed ...

shit quattro do you really believe that, how extremely sad for you

Anna, I think you live in a different world to many on MN.

Anywy, I was going to quote Joanna Trollope but I can't find it - but in 'The Rector's Wife' she say something along the lines of the village gree/ bus stop being the modern day equivalent of the water pump where women would congregate and have a little gossip.

Things don't change.

ahh you see that was an unfortunate cross-post .. because patently Anna is talking bollocks as you quite eloquently put

no I was saddened by your other post

I like talking to people too - as long as they have something interesting to say for themselves .

Anyway, our school gate is pretty varied and spicy - admittedly more so than the average - so you always get some kind of takeaway to brighten the day

Pointy - sorry about your mum

Twig - I'd save your sympathy for a more deserving cause. Before I learned the avoiding eyecontact trick, I'd get sucked into these conversations and it always used to end in baking.

Oh well Quattro if you feel that you only ever had to take one decision for your children's education when they were three... what can I say?

Many parents are rather more interested in their children's lives than that

Me, any nicely put banality makes my day actually.

anna- you can be interested in your child's life without being interested in the minutiae of ballet classes et al. Nasty comment.

Oh limecrush let me tease Quattro please - her confusion about her priorities in life is delicious

LOL at inevitability of ending in baking .. so true (I happen to like baking though )

anna - are your children happy comfortable easy going little people? Do they find it easy to make friends with a wide variety of people and see the fun side of most aspects of life?

was policy's mum. Sorry to hear that, policy

Taking an interest in my children's education does not equal gossiping at the school gate. It's a false equation you are making there Anna. I probably won't have to make any more decisions about which schools they'll go to, but that doesn't equate to a lack of interest in their education either.

I think you've proved my point ... all this gossiping is not serving any useful purpose at all. In fact it can be counterproductive - look how miserable it's making the OP.

I like baking too. Actually far more interesting than children extracurricular activities

YOU'RE ALL HOBBITS