to be sick to the back teeth of cliques at the school gate?

[squinny101]

I am sick and tired of cliquey groups of mums at the school gate all trying to out do each other and my ds school seems to be particularly bad. Its like how many after school activities can one child do. I am looked down upon (and itied) because I work every evening and god forbid I am divorced (says in a whisper) and have children with my current partner as well.

Oh how they enjoyed the fact that my ex-husband was at a party and they got to gleefully tell me on the Monday morning. I felt like saying 'its OK I know what he looks like'.

Sick, sick, to the back teeth of it. I make nothing but an effort to be nice and kind (even taking one little boy to school whenever it rains) and all I seem to get is bitchy remarks and one woman in partiuclar looks me up and down so blatantly it makes me feel like I have not put my trousers on.

Please tell me your stories - make me feel better.

Amandella do you live in some sort of chick lit novel?

now why if someone is well groomed are they automatically a bitch or horrid? I see this loads on MN and it always baffles me

i'm lucky too...there are cliques at school, but they are all willing to let you join!

like another poster though, i will talk to anyone!

i have made some really lovely new friends at ds school....

I don't particularly like dogs at the school gate tbh.
I really don't see this at our school.
There are a groups of friends who know each other of course so I don't feel excluded if I am not part of their conversation.
You are dropping the kids off at school- what's the big deal?

Message withdrawn

now Amandella in your situation I would think, oh they have got to know me after a term and that is why they are inviting me to stuff

I wouldn't think "bitches! it is only because of my dh's job, ha, I will be lonely, that will show them"

maybe I am naive but I prefer to see good in people not bad

maybe if you go for lunch with them they will become good friends? if not, you have not lost anything by trying

"well groomed" always makes me think they might have manes and a young boy to comb them

Sometimes I go to school feeling totally wonderful everything has gone brilliantly in the morning and I feel positively fab!

This morning, I went to school feeling shit, woke up with a headache, feeling sick, dd being awkward 'where are my sunglasses?' as we are just walking out of the door(haven't seen them for months, no chance of finding them) my face looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

With so many inconsistancies in someones personality, aren't people sometimes gonna get the wrong impression of you?

well, I aqm sahm and I have made friends with some of the other mums. I haven't made an effort with everyone.
Am I in a clique?
YABU-You sound paranoid

I am short and generally clean btw

I really, really don't get this.

Am mystified by the post that said "then they "let me in" but I declined". Er, so what do you want?

Is there too much 'investing' going on. I wander up, say hello, make small talk about weather/children/teachers, have any specific chats I need to have (swapping of uniform; arranging of lifts etc) and that's it.

Is there some sort of "projection" thing? I work and if I go up to school I will be in fairly formal work clothes and reasonably groomed. I do not interpret the way anyone looks at me.

I cannot believe that I am completely oblivious to this. Maybe we just have a very harmonious school (unlikely, as there is the odd complete loon )

oh I agree cheeslet

some mornings if dd1 annd dd2 have been fighting I would stab the Pope, god help any friendly mums in the vicinity

I have FCUK OFF WORLD writ large on my forehead

I think people who talk alot, don't notice things as much, because they are talkers >

I think the quiet ones pick up on this kinda thing because they are spectators and can notice the BS more.

I consider myself to be well groomed too, even with my slobbery dog.
Twasn't me who said the well groomed ones were the problem, but there is always a gaggle of women who are inpenitrable.
As somebody rightly pointed out though; some people give a toss, some people don't.
Some people are more self-aware than others who couldn't give a stuff.
There is nothing wrong with either type.

Sorry oliveoil but you are wrong about this lot. I also like to see the best in people but i am not interested in superficial people and when I have heard these women speak I hear nothing but bitching and comments about other mums/kids etc... it's not on. I think I'd be being two faced to bother with them. I do think they talked to me because of dh's job - it's no coincidence that the day after one of them found out (by pure chance as it happens)...they suddenly welcomed me at the school gates with "wow, we didn't know your husband worked for X, what's he like - come and tell us all the gossip"....oh bugger off....

Goober I'm not sure why you are surprised that people give you a wide berth if you bring a "big slobbering boxer" to school

I used to stress about this kinda thing but I don't give a rats arse anymore. If your too pally with 'these' people, if your kids fall out your stuffed. They know all your s**t and leaves you vunerable.

I sound paronoid