Friend asked for money instead of a holiday, CF?

[namechangedohmy]

My friend ‘Jane’ isn’t great with money and has got herself into a mess a few times and in the past I’ve gifted her some small amounts to help but stopped doing so as it was getting awkward.

Anyway, she’s been a bit run down and wanting a break so I offered to take her away for a winter break at a hotel up north. DBB plus has a pool, sauna, large grounds to walk in so she could swim, walk or just sleep as much or as little as she wanted. I was also looking forward to a bit of a break too tbh. She’s subsequently asked if she could have the money equivalent instead as that would be more helpful. I’m irritated by this as I’d knocked giving her money on the head, which she knows, so feel this is a bit much. Or AIBU and I offered help and this is the help she wants.

No. You can't. Case closed.

Go on your own or invite another friend.

That is cheeky of her. You've offered something can be of benefit to you both. They is what is on offer, she doesn't get to take the cash value instead.

Unless she needs the money for something vital - eg to keep the lights on or emergency dental surgery - then she’s being an enormous CF and has basically thrown a lovely gesture back in your face. I would steer clear…..

Neither a borrower or lender be
dont give her a penny

Gosh she’s got a brass neck hasn’t she. Absolutely not! Definitely go yourself with/without someone else as you prefer.

Bloody hell. She's got a cheek. Absolutely not unreasonable for you to say no and that you've allocated that money for a break you need too!

I'll come with you instead and my friend "Janet" who sounds very similar to Jane can be rubbish with cash together.

She's cheeky AF and sees you as a cause machine, sorry OP 😕 I'd explain that you need a weekend away yourself and was hoping to enjoy her company but it's clear where her priorities lie. I'd have to call it out, sounds like they've lost all sense of what a friendship should be

She doesn't see you as a friend, just as free money. It's time for you to distance yourself completely. You tried.

She's not your friend. She 👀 you as a cash cow.

You are asking her to accompany you on a holiday of your choosing which isn’t necessarily what she wants to do and she quite possibly needs money to cover bills or food which is going to take priority.

I certainly wouldn’t gift her the monetary equivalent. I would also withdraw the offer of a free break, as it will just be awkward between you.

Not acceptable. I’d find it hard to continue the friendship tbh.

Sorry Jane, we have our wires crossed. I was inviting you to join me as my guest to have a nice weekend for both of us. Let’s leave it for another time.

To be frank, she always needs money as she spends freely then panics when the bigger bills land or something happens. I know that makes me sound judgey but she could manage if she budgeted.

Good response

Your friend seems to see you as an ATM rather than a friend. Stop enabling her.

Go away on your own or find someone else to go with.

Sorry but I think this relationship has run it's course, she sees you as a resource not a friend.

Agree! she's not interested in your friendship, just your money. Just say a big fat NO to her message and if she insists, tell her how hurt you feel that she's asking for money when you wanted to do a nice thing for her. she only cares about money and not spending time with you.

You sound like a lovely friend, I'd be so appreciative if a friend offered to do this for me.

Just Wow! CF of the highest order but you sound like a lovely friend. Don't let her take the piss

How do people have these friendships? I have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances but I have never been asked for money by any of them.

She sees you as a cash point, Op, not a friend. To the point that she doesn't even want to spend time with you.

"Sorry, that's not what was on offer. Forget I mentioned it."

Then give her a wide berth. Cheeky Fucker! She might have well said "oh I'm not bothered about your company but I'll have some of your money ta".

She’s an absolutely shameless CF - no no no and again no

The front of her

She's no friend she’s a grifter

What @MatildaTheCat said is perfect