Friend asked for money instead of a holiday, CF?

[namechangedohmy]

My friend ‘Jane’ isn’t great with money and has got herself into a mess a few times and in the past I’ve gifted her some small amounts to help but stopped doing so as it was getting awkward.

Anyway, she’s been a bit run down and wanting a break so I offered to take her away for a winter break at a hotel up north. DBB plus has a pool, sauna, large grounds to walk in so she could swim, walk or just sleep as much or as little as she wanted. I was also looking forward to a bit of a break too tbh. She’s subsequently asked if she could have the money equivalent instead as that would be more helpful. I’m irritated by this as I’d knocked giving her money on the head, which she knows, so feel this is a bit much. Or AIBU and I offered help and this is the help she wants.

I had a friend like that. She'd say, but you've always got money. Note the past tense there.

She’s not your friend. She’s a taker.

Tell her she’s cheeky and it’s not looking like you can afford to do it now as your roof needs fixing then don’t offer anything like that again.

Going fwd, I’d probably create some distance between you both.

Good idea.

Wow take a different friend she’s not worthy of your friendship. She is taking the !!!!

Just "no" CF....

What a freeloading CF, taking advantage of your good nature... Time to turn off the "bird feeder"

This top level cheeky fuckery.

I wouldn’t even reply to her. End of friendship. She is outright rude. Let her realise that in her own time and don’t give it a second thought yourself!

Christ, yeah as others have said, just tell her you wanted to go on holiday and she was going to be your guest, you don't want to give her the cash because then you wouldn't be able to go yourself and wanted a friend to go with! I'd tell her no worries you'll ask someone else, (who won't try to cash your generous gift in)... 🫣

That's not the offer. It's not either or... She's asking her if she wants to be treated for a holiday this person is already going to go on for a break. The cheek of it is astonishing. Red flags everywhere with this one

Sorry to be negative, but I suspect addiction of some kind- it simply isn't normal to ask for the money instead.

Grifting cheeky fucker. She’s no friend.

Yes, she a CF, No, you don't give her money.

Think you need a real friend….

I think you know the answer to your question.

'No sorry, this is a break I need & I invited you along as I know you're stressed & thought it would be a nice break for you too. I'll still be going so won't have any money spare to give you. Please don't ask again as the answer will always be NO' What a cheeky cow she is!

She is a fucking cheeky piss taking leaching arsehole. Stop being a doormat. End the friendship as she is no friend.

just curious, what was the outcome? Did you go away? Are you still friends?

6 month old zombie thread. Why on earth did you resurrect it?

It came up on my ‘Similar thread’ list, and I was curious what the outcome was, as I remember reading it when it was first posted.

You have to cut her off. She won't ever improve with money if people keep lending her it or bailing her out. I have been there myself. Your friend needs to figure out the root cause and get some help. You are not being kind by giving her money, quite the opposite; you're enabling whatever issue she has and contributing to keeping her down.

I think that’s the right decision. I don’t think it was kind of her to reject your gift in such a manipulative way.