Friend asked for money instead of a holiday, CF?

[namechangedohmy]

My friend ‘Jane’ isn’t great with money and has got herself into a mess a few times and in the past I’ve gifted her some small amounts to help but stopped doing so as it was getting awkward.

Anyway, she’s been a bit run down and wanting a break so I offered to take her away for a winter break at a hotel up north. DBB plus has a pool, sauna, large grounds to walk in so she could swim, walk or just sleep as much or as little as she wanted. I was also looking forward to a bit of a break too tbh. She’s subsequently asked if she could have the money equivalent instead as that would be more helpful. I’m irritated by this as I’d knocked giving her money on the head, which she knows, so feel this is a bit much. Or AIBU and I offered help and this is the help she wants.

You’ve enabled this woman, that’s why she has the expectation that she does.

Accept responsibility for your contribution to this dynamic by stop trying to bail her out of her own life.

god help her if a someone offers to buy her a drink at a night club lol ... "No, can i have the cash alternative..." OMG he'd laugh in her face!

Not sure why you even feel the need to ask if YABU - but where’s the AIBU vote when we need it? Pretty sure it would have been 99-100% in your favour!

Oh gosh…

well she defo is after your money. She is in dire again or she wouldn’t have tried, I guess.

Go alone or with someone else. I am sorry. Money reasons to loose friendship is truly sh**

I'd tell her that's a one time offer.
You're going on break and offered to take her with.
That's the deal..that's it.

Blimey that's an outrageous thing to say! Don't blame you for stepping back from her for a bit.

She needs to have a think about her attitude towards you.

Buh bye Felicia! Absolutely no way. We were taught to be gracious and never look a gift horse in the mouth. Tell her you have some Colombian Vitamins lined up and see how fast she changes her mind! 😂 Only kidding but no, holiday or zilch, I can't believe the brass neck!

Wow. Cheeky fooo*er

Amazing. She's probably pulling this nonsense with several friends. Personally I'd end it.

I genuinely think that would be friendship over for me.

Spectacular levels of CFery.

Like @MatildaTheCat 's response for now but after that I'd phase her out, I think.

Edited as wrong thread!

Nope! Say no, x say you were actually looking for company on a break as you couldn't get a single person supplement so if you give her what she sees as the cost of her half of the break you won't be able to go x

No thanks.

I would say it was a voucher you were going to share with her, money wasn’t on offer.

She's completely in the wrong. She's just using this as an excuse to try to get you to give her more money.
You may need to cut her out completely if she doesnt understand youre not an ATM.....

Will you still go away with her?

Sorry you can't come. Nevermind.

And as for the money, we have spoke about this before - I am not lending you any money.

A break is not going to be very relaxing if she's worried about money the whole time. Don't give her money, but ask if there's something you can pay for her.

Close your “bank” account with your friend

I have to agree with this, your kindness is allowing her to continue mismanaging her money.

Your suggestion was an act of kindness and friendship, actually its so bloody thoughtful it speaks volumes about you. She doesn't deserve you. I'm afraid she wouldn't be my friend after this.

I think she wants your money more than your company/friendship. You are right to put a bit of distance and let the dust settle. It is v honest of you to acknowledge how kind she was to you when life was tough for you but you don’t have to repay her forever.

Cheeky bloody mare! Rescind the offer, tell her somethings come up, whatever, just DO NOT take her on this holiday now! She'll be an absolute bloody nightmare, telling you how much she REALLY NEEDED that money. * oh, and she's no flaming friend leeching off you like that!

She doesn't want your time or company... just your money...

Absolutely refuse

In my experience money usually ruins friendships, even if you one is able to give somehow the other should feel resentment if it's not reciprocated somehow.

In this case she's simply showing her true identity, she feels entitled to take advantage and doesn't care about you as a friend. Possibly she feels a bit envious too and wants to have some of your wealth.

I bet she'll be resentful when you say no and will lose her as a friend.

No I can't give you the money as I'll still need to pay for the hotel, I'll see if anyone else wants to go.....

Then as others have said, a bit of distance needed.