DH at event while I'm unwell

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My husband has an event tonight that has been in the diary for months.

I've woke up with a horrible cold - sore throat, runny nose, body aches, not helped by the fact our baby is going through the 4 month sleep regression and had me up every hour last night. (Me, not my husband, as he had work today so just did one nappy change in the night)

Husband got in from work and essentially headed straight out to this event, he'll be home around midnight tonight.

AIBU that I was hoping he'd stay home to help me with the baby whilst I'm feeling so rotten? I've had help from a friend during the day but am still going to have to face bedtime alone (which is a trial in itself at the moment), as well as the many wake ups that will happen before he gets home.

It's not like this is his first evening out since we've had the baby - he's had many.

Did he ask how you're feeling/how your day went? Did you ask him to stay in?

I wouldnt have expected my DH to stay at home. If you have a cold I would dose up and snuggle down. Have a lie in, in the morning and get DH to take over then. You have had help during the day, its just one evening

Did you ask him?

I did ask him to stay, he said he wouldn't ask me to miss an event if it was the other way around (In reality, he wouldn't have to ask, I'd just stay)

What @Onesipmore said.

I feel sorry for myself when I have a cold too, but I wouldn't expect dh to cancel his event for it, and nor would he if it were the other way round.

I would like to hope he sent me back to bed tomorrow to rest up, and took over all the things that needed doing.

It’s not nice to let people down at short notice and you say yourself that you’ve had helped today. If baby sleeps, sleep with them but I’m sure you could manage for one night. If you had been seriously ill and had no support, I could understand being annoyed with him but it sounds like a common cold and whilst annoying and rotten, you’ll be fine and lots of people have to plod on. Do nothing but look after baby and please yourself. Get a takeaway or ready meal if you can eat and watch some trash. Your DH will soon be back and then you can hand baby over for you to rest this weekend….and make sure you do get that time.

Your baby is four months old and it’s a very easy age to look after when you are also unwell. Trust me, you will both have endless viruses and illnesses that you will catch from your child/ren over time and you can’t just expect to be looked after for them all.

I’d have encouraged DH to go out.

I wouldn’t expect my DH to stay home if he had a planned event and I had a cold. When one of us is really unwell then the other will cancel an event to look after DC, but not for a cold as this ill likely happen a few times over the next few years so we just tend to get on with it.

Thank you for your response - I can only take Paracetamol unfortunately as I'm breastfeeding, but I am taking this as often as I can. Also have some honey and lemon to add to tea.

Thank you for your responses everyone, can see IABU 🙂

I would not stop him from going. Just hunker down as best you can and forget about any sleep routine for one night.

DH can deal with it all tomorrow and you rest then

I hope you feel much better soon.

For a cold / sore throat, no.

You aren’t unreasonable to feel the way you feel but I agree with others- it would be unreasonable to expect DH not to go. Unfortunately with kids so little it’s hard to take care of the adult too as well as everything else in daily life I found.
ETA- if you can, arrange some help for tomorrow so you can get some sleep/ rest.

Will he carry the slack for the rest of the weekend?
I think a lot depends on his attitude when he told he was still going out- let him be on duty over the weekend apart from when you are feeding and get yourself better.
Can you snuggle in bed with your baby? Has your dh left you with food/drink etc so you can just veg with baby??

I think for the sake of a one evening event I'd try to let this go. I'd be less impressed if it was a several night thing.

For one night with a cold I’d manage but expect him to do more tomorrow, take the baby out for a walk at least. Just so you can have an hour totally in peace. Obviously you’re still breastfeeding so a whole morning/afternoon is pretty much out of the question.
Feel better soon!

Just so you know, you can take ibuprofen when breast feeding too. Hope you feel better soon.

A cold and sore throat is very difficult to not being able to get out of bed with the flu.
Surely you'd manage.

Yabu , it’s a cold your baby is very young, have a lovely hot bath and get to bed early

This! Double up on your pain relief with some ibuprofen! And make sure he picks up the slack tomorrow and you’re able to rest.

Oh come on OP…you have a cold! Yeah, it’s crappy, but seriously, I cannot imagine asking someone to miss a prior engagement due to me having a cold.

No, I wouldn’t expect Dh to miss a work event because I had a cold. I have bloody cancer and 2 dc, and while Dh has turned down the occasional drinks because I needed to go to bed (I get fevers, chills, shaking because of the treatment), he has had a few work weekends away and evenings out and I’ve just had to get on with it.

He’s the boss. I wouldn’t expect him to not attend a work thing because I felt a bit sorry for myself. I would, however, expect him to be up at 6am with the baby tomorrow, and take the kids out for the day to give me a break.

One of our dc had a vomiting bug last weekend and I had a weekend away planned (I thankfully hadn’t been exposed to the bug as all happened at school on Friday). I waved him off and went away for 2 nights to enjoy my rare weekend away. 😂

This and hopefully, if he's a decent DH he'll pick up the slack tomorrow. Hope you get some rest tonight

Its crappy but it’s just a cold. You can’t expect him to miss an event for a cold.