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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL asking I don't bring my nephew along to Centre Parc holiday trip

359 replies

Pline · 16/10/2025 17:57

SIL has arranged a big birthday trip for her eldest daughter to Centre Paris. They are being very generous and paying for our accommodation. There will be around 15 of us all together including grandparents. Dh and I don’t have children so CP isn’t exactly somewhere we would choose to go but we enjoy the family and wish to participate in the celebrations. I thought it would be nice if I brought my own sister’s child. I felt I would feel like a bit of a spare part if I didn’t have anything to do iykwim. My nephew is a lovely, cute boy. And the same age as the birthday girl. They have played in the past but don’t live close so aren’t friends or anything. Both children are sociable and well behaved.

I asked in the group chat if that would be okay. SIL’s husband said “absolutely the more the merrier”. But I just got a message from SIL asking I don’t do so. I’ve asked why and she said Ava (SIL’s daughter - not real name) is very fond of you and would like to spend time with you. Ava is a little clingy to me. I enjoy it. She is a girly girl and I enjoy make up, nails etc which Ava’s mums not so into. Ava is always making about my perfume, lipstick etc.

Am I being exceptionally rude? I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. And the spare bedroom will go empty which is a bit of a waste. I feel like most people would not care. I will of course spend plenty of time with Ava but I have been to Centre Parcs before and I thought having someone else to focus on would make the time a little less…boring.

But obviously SIL is paying. So maybe I am being . rudeUnintentionally.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 19/10/2025 14:29

Purpleturtle45 · 18/10/2025 09:18

I still think it's rude, even at no extra cost. They are paying for all the accommodation so have the right to chose who stays in it, in my opinion.

It changes the dynamics if there are people there that aren't part of the family or that people don't know as well.

OP's part of the family only through marriage as well.

MyMiniMetro · 20/10/2025 15:51

If someone has invited you on holiday and is paying for you to be there then you DO NOT INVITE SOMEONE ELSE or even suggest inviting someone extra. Accept or decline politely and in good time, those are your options.

I can’t even believe this is real, it is so cringeworthy. I’d be curious to know if OP has a neurodivergence that would explain such poor grasp of etiquette.

maxiemouslady · 20/10/2025 16:31

This one of my favourite type of threads…OP posts, is pretty obviously “wrong” (SIL is paying, of course she can say no) and then OP just disagrees with everyone.

mrsschneebly · 20/10/2025 19:18

MyMiniMetro · 20/10/2025 15:51

If someone has invited you on holiday and is paying for you to be there then you DO NOT INVITE SOMEONE ELSE or even suggest inviting someone extra. Accept or decline politely and in good time, those are your options.

I can’t even believe this is real, it is so cringeworthy. I’d be curious to know if OP has a neurodivergence that would explain such poor grasp of etiquette.

Edited

That’s a bit of a stretch. Since when does someone doing something you wouldn’t, make them neurodivergent 😂

I, and many other posters, have said I wouldn’t have an issue with one extra small child coming along, providing it wouldn’t cost me any extra or cause any disruption. Perhaps I’m neurodivergent too.

A classic case of MN absolutely overreacting to the extreme over something that would be a complete non issue for most people in the real world.

EH1768 · 20/10/2025 20:48

Pline · 16/10/2025 17:57

SIL has arranged a big birthday trip for her eldest daughter to Centre Paris. They are being very generous and paying for our accommodation. There will be around 15 of us all together including grandparents. Dh and I don’t have children so CP isn’t exactly somewhere we would choose to go but we enjoy the family and wish to participate in the celebrations. I thought it would be nice if I brought my own sister’s child. I felt I would feel like a bit of a spare part if I didn’t have anything to do iykwim. My nephew is a lovely, cute boy. And the same age as the birthday girl. They have played in the past but don’t live close so aren’t friends or anything. Both children are sociable and well behaved.

I asked in the group chat if that would be okay. SIL’s husband said “absolutely the more the merrier”. But I just got a message from SIL asking I don’t do so. I’ve asked why and she said Ava (SIL’s daughter - not real name) is very fond of you and would like to spend time with you. Ava is a little clingy to me. I enjoy it. She is a girly girl and I enjoy make up, nails etc which Ava’s mums not so into. Ava is always making about my perfume, lipstick etc.

Am I being exceptionally rude? I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. And the spare bedroom will go empty which is a bit of a waste. I feel like most people would not care. I will of course spend plenty of time with Ava but I have been to Centre Parcs before and I thought having someone else to focus on would make the time a little less…boring.

But obviously SIL is paying. So maybe I am being . rudeUnintentionally.

You asked, SIL said no. It’s very rude in my opinion to then quiz SIL as to why.

EH1768 · 20/10/2025 20:50

mrsschneebly · 20/10/2025 19:18

That’s a bit of a stretch. Since when does someone doing something you wouldn’t, make them neurodivergent 😂

I, and many other posters, have said I wouldn’t have an issue with one extra small child coming along, providing it wouldn’t cost me any extra or cause any disruption. Perhaps I’m neurodivergent too.

A classic case of MN absolutely overreacting to the extreme over something that would be a complete non issue for most people in the real world.

Fair point. But in this case the SIL, the inviter, said “no” to an extra. After this point it seems very rude to be asking SIL why this is the case.

mrsschneebly · 20/10/2025 21:41

EH1768 · 20/10/2025 20:50

Fair point. But in this case the SIL, the inviter, said “no” to an extra. After this point it seems very rude to be asking SIL why this is the case.

Yes I agree with that but some of these comments are just wild.

MyMiniMetro · 01/11/2025 14:06

mrsschneebly · 20/10/2025 19:18

That’s a bit of a stretch. Since when does someone doing something you wouldn’t, make them neurodivergent 😂

I, and many other posters, have said I wouldn’t have an issue with one extra small child coming along, providing it wouldn’t cost me any extra or cause any disruption. Perhaps I’m neurodivergent too.

A classic case of MN absolutely overreacting to the extreme over something that would be a complete non issue for most people in the real world.

? lol - okay. 84% of people so far say you are wrong. You honestly think it’s okay to bring another uninvited person along (child or not) on a holiday you are neither paying for or organising? Honestly, perhaps you are neurodivergent.

Autumngirl5 · 01/11/2025 18:24

mrsschneebly · 20/10/2025 21:41

Yes I agree with that but some of these comments are just wild.

Exactly! I would agree with the brother in law ‘the more the merrier’. But the SIL said no so end of debate.

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