Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

[TwinklyFawn]

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I'm completely in love with my ex-colleague.

I hate my neighbours. They are ignorant. It would be nice to get a hello when i say hello to them but it seems that they have no manners.

Sometimes I wish we'd stopped at one child, even though I'm totally in love with DD2.

I think my DD will never be able to work nor live independently. I hope I’m wrong but I’m quietly preparing to be in a financial position to support her throughout her life. She is on the cusp of being appropriate for a specialist educational setting , even though no one can really diagnose what’s going on. Hugely vulnerable. Everyone just see’s a happy, chatty girl.

My mum is a really lazy grandparent.
I know mumsnet is generally of the opinion that grandparents don’t have any obligation or duty to look after your kids so I guess I should be grateful, but my son doesn’t really like going.
She doesn’t take him anywhere or do anything fun, sits in her usual spot on the sofa watching tv while he is just there in her house.
I guess I find it lazy cos going to nans was a treat for us when we were kids, she took us to the park, we baked cakes, she bought treats in for us, enjoyed her grandchildren.

I am very sceptical about many ADHD diagnoses. I think it's that our modern lifestyle (fast paced, distractions everywhere, smartphones, noise etc) doesn't suit many people. I wish medication wasn't so often the go-to and instead doctors advocated for lifestyle change. For a start, diet has been linked to ADHD symptoms.

I have psoriasis in my arse crack. Went to a dermatologist who diagnosed it as such and prescribed a cream with limited success, then she prescribed injections which haven't worked either. Never told anyone else, not my mum my sister or even my husband. I use the loo at work multiple times a day to scratch it. It flares up and down, but it's always there. I've been nearly suicidal over it as I cannot function with a permanently itchy arse crack. Going for a poo is an ordeal. Sometimes the itch has become consuming while driving and I'm legitimacy worried I will cause an accident.

It’s a long story and not a good one.
But ive had a few comments on here so far tbh its not worth the head space.
I dont blame anyone i mean it dose sound odd and silly and you guys dont know why and its something id rather not say online
We dont know whats gone on in other peoples life so who are we to judge.
But this is mumsnet where we all get bitched at.
Some of the confessions on here i think are worse than mine but i dont know their reasons same as they dont know mine.
We have all had something happened to us that has changed us either it big or small.

@muteme you don’t need to explain yourself. I have a very dear friend who’s mute but she can speak, I’ve known her for 40 years and I’ve heard her whisper twice, we communicate just fine. I, and her other friends know and understand why she doesn’t speak, trauma affects people in different ways 💐

That sounds horrendous. Sorry you have to deal with that.

To stick with the diet theme I've got going, have you tried looking into anti inflammatory foods? Diet changes can't cure psoriasis but anecdotally I've heard from a friend that it can help .

A quick Google brings up a lot of info, such as here https://health.clevelandclinic.org/psoriasis-diet

And definitely keep asking your dermatologist for an effective treatment! Hope you find something that works soon.

I don't like holidays. I only ever go because my other half likes them. I'd rather stay at home and spend the money on something else.

I have spent the entire day on mumsnet today, haven't done anything else except eat too much.

This sounds debilitating. Have you thought of trying LED? I’m a beauty therapist & you can use it on all parts of the body. Mine is a Dermalux Flex & that can be placed over different parts of the body. I would use the near infrared & the red light?

Me too and on my lady bits. It drives me to distraction to the point I can’t sit still and spend all night scratching even in my sleep.
Im starting on cyclosporine soon as none of the steroid creams can sort it out.

Are you me?

I often wonder how my life might be if I started out again, but without being premature or adopted.

Or if I had never had a head injury and post concussion syndrome a decade ago, that made me horrendously unwell to the point of a breakdown. Then I'd not have been injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic that gave me a neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia.

I often hate myself because of my body. I know the head injury was entirely avoidable and very stupidly I altered my whole life by my own carelessness. If id not been climbing up a ladder on a children's play area and filming my eldest daughter, I'd not have banged my head. I need to forget it and forgive myself but I can't.

I often feel like a terrible mum for being very envious of my eldest daughter, who is incredible. She's so intelligent, Oxbridge material, and just brilliant, with a very sharp mind and so adept. She'd go further than I ever have done in life. That's what every parent wants for their own child, but being envious is terrible. I have to suppress my feelings as I know just how silly they are. I'm so immensely proud of her and I would only ever want the best for her.

I'm in love with a man who's also in love with me. We connect, we are close, we click, we just get each other, we'd be together if we could. But we are both stuck in very unhappy long marriages to other people, and both of us have children. Neither of us feels able to leave for different reasons and neither of us would ever have a physical affair because after all we made vows to other people. I realise what's going on is an emotional affair and of course that's a betrayal too, but both of us need the connection and emotional support we have with each other because we don't have it at home. One of us is in an abusive relationship, the other an utterly soulless indifferent one, both awful in different ways, both sexless for many years. We met at work two years ago quite by chance, it's a huge organisation. We can't believe we found each other at this stage in our lives, in our late 50s. I don't know where this is going or if we'll ever be able to be together, but for now what we have will have to do. I can't imagine life without him, and he feels the same about me. For now it makes things bearable for both of us.

PS long term MNer using a different name for obvious reasons.

I am stuck in the wrong life. The only way to change it would be to go back in time 24 years.

I know people who went into SpEd schools who have set up their own businesses and are making a reasonable income, £30K+. They have been offered support from OT with regards to signposting for entrepreneur support and community support, as well as support from adult social care with PA's to help them with their life admin so they and their families can just focus on getting the business off the ground.

I however went 29 years not knowing I was autistic, have worked since I was 14, and developed cPTSD, skill regression, autoimmune conditions, CFS and have also been diagnosed with hypermobility, and had to give up work a year ago. I'm desperately trying to get my own business off the ground but I also have a high needs disabled child and worry I'll never work again.

Please don't worry that just because your daughter strongly needs your support right now that she'll never have independence. It's because she's got your support that she has a much better chance at some sort of independence, even if that will look a bit different to other people.

Ŵhen people witter on about minor illnesses, especially glue ear and a wax build up that has led to a need for syringing or microsuctioning, I want to tell them to pull themselves together (l don't, of course). This is because I have had a lifetime of horrible, chronic ear infections, which have led to two major operations and varying forms of deafness. I now wear two powerful hearing aids. The other group of people l would like to advise the pulling themselves together treatment for are those who play the "mental health" card when they are feeling upset or down in the dumps because of normal life events. Let me be clear. I have every sympathy with people who suffer from any of the myriad of truly horrendous psychiatric illnesses and have suffered from depression myself. I wouldn't wish it on my own enemy. I simply think there is a time and a place for a modicum of resilience and stoicism. l also think that there are too many diagnoses being sought too early for children who have some quirky behaviours and a diagnosis is all too often used as an excuse for bad behaviour.
Finally, l would never say this next thing to my pupils or parents, but piano exams are a lot easier now than before the year 2000. Today's grade 8 is around the same standard as grade 7 was when I took it in the early eighties. GCSEs are more like the old CSE exams and A levels are more like the old O levels in standard. Grade inflation is real.

A friend of mine had an affair some years ago. I was also friends with her husband. She would use me as her cover story, so when she was meeting her affair partner she told her husband she was meeting me for coffee and lunches. So I had to be really careful about what I would say around her husband if I ever saw him in passing.

The affair fizzled out, friend and husband seemed to be back on track. Our friendship drifted, but I often felt hurt about how she “used” me as a cover story. I also felt a huge amount of guilt for the husband.

Anyway, last year her husband also had an affair. But she found out. So did her parents. She told me everything. Obviously it’s turned hers and her children’s lives upside down.

Do I feel sorry for her? Not at all. Which makes me feel quite sad and also like a sociopath. But oh well. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I found your post so touching.
Ignore anyone saying you are in the wrong for having this relationship.
It sounds beautiful and I am glad you have each other.
Life isn’t often neat and tidy. We get through it how we can.

When I worked for a call centre, and I got a particularly bad customer, I used to doodle on my whiteboard of what I think they would look like as dogs.

So if you've ever had the opportunity to speak to me at my old job and you've called 5 minutes before closing to tell me that you've not paid your phone bill and we're going to restrict your services because it's the 5th time this year, and then personally blame me for causing you stress when I've explained there's sweet FA I can do about it, the billing department is closed and we had been open ALL DAY to resolve this issue, I probably drew you as a dog. If you ever rang me to tell me your broadband is down and I tell you that it'll be 2 days before we can send an engineer to you, and you tell me that's not acceptable because now you've got to entertain your own kids, I drew you as a dog. If you ever rang me to tell me that your internet speed is 2Mbps but that's because you decided to buy your own land at the arse end of nowhere and build your multi-million pound modern mansion there where there's no street registered, and all you can get is copper, but somehow that's OUR FAULT, dog. If you ever rang me to say you can get better prices on comparison websites, and want me to magic up a discount from my arse and complain incessantly when I can't instead of just using the comparison websites you've preached about, dog. If you ever rang to tell me that you've got a problem entirely within your own domain, but you expect me to send an engineer out for something out of their remit because you're technologically illiterate and then start screaming down the phone at me when I say they can't help you connect your wireless printer to your PC because that's not our problem, toothless chihuahua. If you ever rang first thing on a morning and expected me to be peppy at 8am, when I finished my 10pm end an hour late because the last person I talked to wanted to ask "one last question before you go", dog. If you ever started a sentence with the statement "I've looked on your website, but I can't see..." and then suddenly expect me to see what you can't see, dog.

Bet my colleagues just really thought I liked dogs with how much I was doodling them.

I have no mercy for people who fall for online/telephone fraud where they're conned onto transferring money by someone posing as a relative, business, tax office or bank. I think anyone under sixty who gets caught out by it is an idiot and deserves to lose their money.

My partner is much more sympathetic.

Last week I was conned out of £2k by that exact scam and I can't admit it to anyone, especially him. Serves this idiot right! 😭

That i dont really understand why so many people are being diagnosed as ND. Im sure its true but there just seems to be so many now, so many kids with ADHD, so many men who are ND. Im embarrassed to discuss it in case the person themselves are ND.

That I hardly look in the mirror now after splitting with my ex a year ago. Its like my love of myself died and ive slowly been trying to build it back up.

I rent an apartment and all that is in it is a large brown sectional and a massive telly. Oh, and a kettle. I go there twice a week and watch true crime documentaries and cry about my mum, who died three years ago. I spend a couple of days a week there and then go back to my lovely home where my husband lives and our grown kids visit all the time. Not a soul knows about this.