Asking partner not to eat food I’m severely allergic to ?

[mermaidproblems]

Am I BU? I didn’t think so ?!!!

MIL has lost it today over DP not being able to have fish and chips with her . I’m allergic to fish, shellfish and peanuts. We’ve always had the agreement he avoids these foods too. She has sent me a message telling me I’m too controlling and ‘you can’t tell someone what they can and can’t eat’

What? The waiter asked to speak to her on a pretext of needing to check something and then informed her that her MIL had attempted to have her poisoned??

If you have been together for 12 years your MIL must be aware of your allergy. I think you need to speak to your husband and ask why after all this time she is saying this and / or get him to deal with it 100% . He may have said something inadvertently that she has jumped on and is now championing (probably waiting in the wings for something to be said that she could use). He needs to tell her to back off and also remind her that you are his wife and should be treated with respect. He should also ask her to apologise to you. She was totally OOO. For her I do not actually think it is about your allergy. My MIL could not fathom that we spoke together and her son actually agreed that I was right on certain things, In her time that just didn't happen. It is alien to some people. They make a big thing of it and sometimes try to make their sons feel less of a person because of it. . ( I also think it is a form of jealousy of your relationship) "A wife should know her place, how dare she expect people to stop eating certain foods. In fact you are the one who should go away for 24 hours so that your husband can have anything he wants to eat."

I read it that MIL and FIL ordered "safe" food and then went to waiter afterwards to add the prawns to their own dishes knowing that even being in the vicinity of someone eating or having eaten shellfish could trigger her allergy.

So they pretended to do the right thing and then added the prawns afterwards probably thinking that the friend and her DP were making a huge fuss over nothing, and to prove a point.

Too many people on here do not have a clue about allergies and cross contamination. I dislike eating at buffet restaurants because I see people using a spoon in more than one container and then putting it back. If there’s a hint of fish on that spoon anything it’s then put it then becomes a no-no for me to eat or I’ll be vomiting and they will be calling an ambulance…and no brushing teeth and washing hands isn’t ok.

My cousin went into shock after somebody who had fish forgot and kissed, just a peck but on their lips.
It can be really serious. My dc's schools banned peanut butter from the get-go àas one little girl has an allergy.
Your mil doesn’t understand, and she ought to learn. Maybe she can learn from a person she believes like you and your husband bring her to an allergist appointment.
Oh that Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez film, Monster-in-Law. Don't tell her why, just invite her to see it.
https://amzn.eu/d/0gSbJD4b

Your bloke is a good un. It doesn't matter what anyone else's allergies are like HE has made the decision to avoid fish to protect op. His mum is kicking her toys out because they then can't have the same meal(and as someone who is coeliac and well versed in having to eat different things-she's a mardy arsed cow). If you ever have kids, watch them like hawks with her.