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Original poster

Would this be embarrassing in your family?

212 replies

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:06

I know it’s only trivial but it’s hit a nerve.

So my family finds everything embarrassing. As a result I’m rarely able to say anything meaningful or share a soppy toast ona birthday for example. I think it comes from Dh who finds any expression of emotion saccharine. DC have followed suit.

Yesterday we watched Baby Boom (in memory of Diane Keaton who is a fav of mine) and I really enjoyed it. As the credits rolled I raised my mug and said “RIP Diane”.

Apparently I was being embarrassing! I’m hardly a soppy git and quite low key myself but it would be nice to occasionally be a bit more emotional

anyone else have families like this?

OP posts:
Vodkamartini3olives · 15/10/2025 00:07

Not at all. I said the same about Dame Maggie Smith at the end of the Downton film.

youalright · 15/10/2025 00:08

Sorry I would laugh at you if you did that in my family

DesertIslandDreams · 15/10/2025 00:12

I don't find it performative, cringey or embarrassing: it would be completely normal in our family. RIP Diane.

Hysterectomynext · 15/10/2025 00:20

I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all so maybe I’m just weird. My children are constantly embarrassed by me though. I don’t often care. It’s not worth being stifled I think.
the comments here about what you did being performative- which seems to be the problem- but surely it was done in front of family as a conscious gesture. So why can’t that be ok?

if you were singing happy birthday to someone would that also be embarrassing? Because it’s performative. What’s allowed?

And whilst I’m on the subject- you lot saying how cringy and performative- were you out banging your pots and pans on Thursdays five years ago? Now that was cringy and performative

LBFseBrom · 15/10/2025 00:22

Quite an appropriate remark in the circumstances, certainly not OTT.

LaughingAloudAsWeGoInsane · 15/10/2025 00:27

I would cringe because it feels performative as others have said. When I heard Diane Keaton had died, I asked my partner if he had seen that she had. We both talked about the films we’d seen her in and said it was sad. I can’t imagine waiting til the end of a film to raise a glass and say ‘RIP Diane’. It’s performative and seemed as if you planned it. I’m quite an emotional person but I hate attention seeking, performative grief, grief vultures etc.

Hysterectomynext · 15/10/2025 00:27

MinPinSins · 14/10/2025 23:54

They are pretty cringey and would be mocked in my family.

Would definitely be laughed at as weird and performative in my family.

Show quote history

its so fascinating to me that you are comfortable saying your family would mock someone if they felt embarrassed by them. So being someone who makes fun of and tries to make them feel bad- that’s ok?

if my family mocked anyone just for being themselves that would be very sad. It wouldn’t happen though because we are all allowed to show our emotions and express ourselves in all our different ways

WirralCyrille · 15/10/2025 00:33

Not cringey at all. OH and I have occasionally raised a glass to a departed musician after hearing about their death.

Bobiverse · 15/10/2025 00:37

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:43

I was sat on the sofa in the semi dark and said 4 words. I can’t believe anyone would think I was being performative. Sentimental, sure. But why is that a bad thing? DK was one of the few celebs that meant something to me. She gave me hours of enjoyment.

And was an apologist of an abuser, and remained his close friend and supporter.

UnRavellingFast · 15/10/2025 00:52

Hysterectomynext · 15/10/2025 00:20

I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all so maybe I’m just weird. My children are constantly embarrassed by me though. I don’t often care. It’s not worth being stifled I think.
the comments here about what you did being performative- which seems to be the problem- but surely it was done in front of family as a conscious gesture. So why can’t that be ok?

if you were singing happy birthday to someone would that also be embarrassing? Because it’s performative. What’s allowed?

And whilst I’m on the subject- you lot saying how cringy and performative- were you out banging your pots and pans on Thursdays five years ago? Now that was cringy and performative

Oh lord I remember one person on our local FB page saying she hasn’t heard much noise from such and such street and let’s ‘shame them into doing better’.

Goldenbear · 15/10/2025 00:55

It's cynical to see it as 'performative' and actually that says more about the person having those thoughts as their default position is evidently, a certainty that everything is all about them!

WaryHiker · 15/10/2025 00:58

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:06

I know it’s only trivial but it’s hit a nerve.

So my family finds everything embarrassing. As a result I’m rarely able to say anything meaningful or share a soppy toast ona birthday for example. I think it comes from Dh who finds any expression of emotion saccharine. DC have followed suit.

Yesterday we watched Baby Boom (in memory of Diane Keaton who is a fav of mine) and I really enjoyed it. As the credits rolled I raised my mug and said “RIP Diane”.

Apparently I was being embarrassing! I’m hardly a soppy git and quite low key myself but it would be nice to occasionally be a bit more emotional

anyone else have families like this?

I thought that was very sweet and appropriate of you. Not embarrassing at all.

But I come from a neurodiverse family and know some of our family members are hypersensitive and easily embarrassed, so I would just ignore their comments if I was confident I hadn't done anything particularly out of the way.

BreakingBroken · 15/10/2025 01:38

well that's me grateful for my french canadian and italian roots!!
let out all the emotions from yelling at the kids like a tv worthy italian momma to hugging and kissing the cheeks of total strangers...
i cry at soppy movies too.

totally fine to raise a mug in my family.

OwlBeThere · 15/10/2025 01:47

SpackelFrog · 14/10/2025 23:25

English?! Autistic 😂😂😂

Show quote history

I was wondering how you weren’t sure if you were English or not. 😂😂

Spudthespanner · 15/10/2025 01:53

I think it’s the performance of it and the tone as if you knew her personally. Definitely a cringe moment. Agree with PP that you’d have the piss ripped out of you in my family.

whimsicallyprickly · 15/10/2025 01:58

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:12

I’m sick of living in an emotionless vacuum

Have you told your family this?

coxesorangepippin · 15/10/2025 02:05

It's not that cringe at all

Clonakilla · 15/10/2025 02:15

Something can’t be simultaneously performative and sincere. Thats the whole point.

You made a modest gesture, you meant it, there’s no reason for people to be cringing.

CherrieTomaties · 15/10/2025 02:16

I cried when Liam Payne died. 1D were massive when I was a teenager, I would have loved it if they were able to do a reunion. Sadly not to be.

I suppose my family found that embarrassing for me.

MiddlingMarch · 15/10/2025 02:40

I would have found that embarrassing. I mean, why say it at all?

Tbh it's the sort of thing I would imagine someone doing if they also stand up and salute the national anthem at the start of the Queen/King's speech on Christmas day.

SammyScrounge · 15/10/2025 02:41

Lorecan · 14/10/2025 23:12

Is it THAT cringey? People go to lay flowers and wail for strangers. I was very low key.

I don't think it's cringey at all.You hear a piece of news like that and you feel obliged to say something. Most people, I think, struggle.to say something original and fall back on a traditional, low key comment that everyone understands, such as RIP.

CurlewKate · 15/10/2025 02:50

To be honest, I would be embarrassed at the very least if I had a family member who was a fan of Diane Keaton, knowing what we know about her…

EleanorReally · 15/10/2025 03:03

i think its ok
RIP Diane

i may well have said that re Gene Hackman for example

Crushed23 · 15/10/2025 03:05

Your family are really unkind if they gave you stick over this.

Whether or not it’s “cringe” is neither here nor there, humiliating you over it is appalling.

anon4net · 15/10/2025 03:10

A nice little nod to DK is not embarrassing! A sort of cute thing to say. You did nothing wrong.

I imagine you feel you are policed with respect to your words etc?

It is okay to be different in this regard to your family but maybe they don't always have to comment on it? Would they stop if you asked? I don't think you should have to watch what you say at home if it's not hurtful, prejudice etc.