Would this be embarrassing in your family?

[Lorecan]

I know it’s only trivial but it’s hit a nerve.

So my family finds everything embarrassing. As a result I’m rarely able to say anything meaningful or share a soppy toast ona birthday for example. I think it comes from Dh who finds any expression of emotion saccharine. DC have followed suit.

Yesterday we watched Baby Boom (in memory of Diane Keaton who is a fav of mine) and I really enjoyed it. As the credits rolled I raised my mug and said “RIP Diane”.

Apparently I was being embarrassing! I’m hardly a soppy git and quite low key myself but it would be nice to occasionally be a bit more emotional

anyone else have families like this?

Exactly this. I am a right soppy git and since having kids cry at almost anything but raising a toast is performative and totally cringey. And I felt embarrassed reading that. I would however, totally say “aww she was such a great actress, such a shame she has died, I feel quite sad about it as the new generation of actresses aren’t the same” or something like that, and that is heartfelt and factual.

so odd you did that.

I watched Father of the Bride on repeat as a child

It was a nice acknowledgement. It was at home in private, more thinking out loud. Dont give it a second thought

It made my toes curl, sorry.

That was a public and formal event. That's why it would have made me laugh awkwardly, you doing something suited to a public event in your private space. It just makes it funny.

I'm with you OP. Come and join me on my sofa and we can be sentimental (aka not repressed) together.

How controlling of your husband, manipulative and a bit creepy.
Of course it has now affected your children.

Loved that movie, loved Diane Keaton.
Tell him sod off.

What is the point of marriage to such awful domineering men.

Yeah, I find the whole royal dead worship thing weird but if people feel moved that’s fine… but what is with the never being able to make a nice toast or (presumably) say you’re super proud of your closest family when you are?? That’s not British - it’s horribly emotionally stunted.

Yes

It was heartfelt. And sincere. I meant it.

I don't think it's normal for teens to cringe at emotional displays either. My DDs never have, they are usually weeping at the same things!

My family isn't like that but I'd have been embarrassed too.

It wasn’t understated. It was a toast, if you just said “aww shame she died” then THAT is understated.

If I did that in my house, or even with my extended family to be honest, everyone would join in 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t find it weird at all.

Me too. She just raised her mug, people are going on like she made a speech and filled everyone's glasses with champagne. Though that would have also have been nice 😅

In my house we would all have pissed our sides and then for the next decade every time we saw Diane on telly we’d have raised our mugs and said RIP Diane and pissed ourselves some more. Sorry.

I was sat on the sofa in the semi dark and said 4 words. I can’t believe anyone would think I was being performative. Sentimental, sure. But why is that a bad thing? DK was one of the few celebs that meant something to me. She gave me hours of enjoyment.

This

They are pretty cringey and would be mocked in my family.

Would definitely be laughed at as weird and performative in my family.

the next decade! 😂

How it is performative? To whom is the OP performing? It's heartfelt, not performative. If you want to do better in life, for goodness' sake learn the difference and stop sneering at sincerity.

That in itself sounds pretty performative to me. Are your family auditioning for Gogglebox?

What a miserable bunch of people on this thread. I'd have loved your little tribute. Keep on being you.

It would be fine in my family but equally, I was brought up with parents who would/are like that so it's not alien behaviour to me. DH's family are mostly the same as mine probably more so.

Hear hear.