Page 9 | I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 16/10/2025 00:58

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

😳 I think you win!

DreamTheMoors · 16/10/2025 20:50

Cornflakegirl7 · 15/10/2025 06:51

Did he give her her bag back?

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—Apologies for my delay—

You know, I never did find out.
Probably. Yeah.
They met when we were 14 - they had a flirtation for years.
THEN - when she lived across the USA from me (30 years later) and they were BOTH married, they carried on a torrid affair while she was visiting me. Evidently, his wife was away so she stayed at his house and if my aunt (the girl in question was my cousin) called looking for her I made an excuse and called her. This was pre-internet. By the way, I HATED them involving me and I TOLD THEM I hated them involving me.
THEN - 10 years after that, she became ill. It was breast cancer.
He brought his wife to her funeral. 😳
He loved her too, though.
Everybody loved her.

Did you ever really love a person who was a piece of work? That was her. She died in 2005 and I think about her every day.
She was my own personal pain in the arse.
I wish she was here to complicate my life.

Rescuedog12 · 17/10/2025 19:00

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:27

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well.

Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover.

Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant.

We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left.

The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house.

l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈.

Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed.

Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping.

I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me.

Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

Not me..honest..it was a friend and I felt second hand embarrassment for her and was cringing as she told me.

A new boyfriend lived in a shared house.she stayed over, and the night before she was holding in a poo as didn't want to risk being heard.At 6 am she crept to the loo and did the biggest turd she'd ever done and it blocked the toilet.she tried for ages and it wouldn't flush away.she ended up going to get her boyfriend, as she was even more embarrassed at the thought of the housemates seeing it.🤣

Jc2001 · 17/10/2025 21:19

Katflapkit · 14/10/2025 22:36

To be fair Sooty is grey with black ears

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I thought Sooty was the yellow bear?

Katflapkit · 17/10/2025 21:44

Jc2001 · 17/10/2025 21:19

I thought Sooty was the yellow bear?

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Sweep. I meant Sweep. These hands puppets are haunting me

Hedgehogscanclimbtrees · 18/10/2025 13:11

Not a first date but was early on in a new relationship. Introducing my new BF to my home friends. We were all supposed to meet at a Tapas Restaurant and it was a dress up evening with a mexican theme. So me & new BF got ourselves some sombreros and had great fun drawing twirly moustaches on eachother. We arrived a bit late only to find that I had got my wires crossed and noone was in fancy dress, only us. To make matter worse, the waiters all had twirly little moustaches, so it looked like we were taking the piss

Cornflakegirl7 · 18/10/2025 14:19

Hedgehogscanclimbtrees · 18/10/2025 13:11

Not a first date but was early on in a new relationship. Introducing my new BF to my home friends. We were all supposed to meet at a Tapas Restaurant and it was a dress up evening with a mexican theme. So me & new BF got ourselves some sombreros and had great fun drawing twirly moustaches on eachother. We arrived a bit late only to find that I had got my wires crossed and noone was in fancy dress, only us. To make matter worse, the waiters all had twirly little moustaches, so it looked like we were taking the piss

How did the wires cross in this situation?

I was once someone's 'date but not a date' to a party, his gf had just finished with him and he asked me to go as friends as he didn't want to turn up without anyone and an extra person had been catered for anyway.

I thought it would be a casual event as friend was a bit of a scruff. I can't remember why, but once we were in his home town (he was buying a last minute present the day of the party) something was said and I realised it was to be quite formal!

I pretended I needed some last minute make-up supplies, left him in a gift shop and ran off to a charity shop to buy a frock-VERY luckily I found a black slinky number, but I only had flat biker boots with me so I went to a shoe shop and again was very lucky to find a pair of nice enough heels in my size in a sale. Stuff frock into my handbag and pretended I'd just 'happened upon' some shoes and the heels I'd brought with me weren't very comfortable.

He bought this story and we had a great night-everyone indeed was very dressed up and I'd have felt an utter twat in my shorts and 'nice enough but definitely not dressy' top that I'd brought.

400rider · 19/10/2025 09:51

KeenGreen · 14/10/2025 23:19

This is a fantastic thread

I am looking forward to an update from Tom!
If he can’t find this funny he is not worth it!

enjoying all the stories!

I don’t have a particularly good story (more of a non story) compared to these. I’ll provide it anyway for the tax 🤣 after lots of chatting online I met my date in a town quite far from where I lived. He didn’t drive but I did and parked in a multistory car park.
We had lunch and cinema and walked around. All going well.
Go back to car park and find it locked all barriers down. It was a Sunday and the car park shut early. Cue panic and tears from me, we find a door open, go inside find a security person in a kiosk who let me get my car out. Saying he was about to leave and how lucky we were otherwise it would have been there overnight!
We’ve been married nearly 15 years.

This happened similarly to my daughter. She drove her car to Tescos (meet in a public place) and they went in his car to the beach (public place) after they decided things were going well.
They went for a meal, further along the coast (walked) and when they got back to the car it was locked in until 7am next morning. There was no way to get out and it was now very dark.
He managed to find a house (all locked gated places) who took pity and called his brother to collect them and drive my daughter to her car, which later got a parking fine for over staying.
After that they both bought mobiles.

We were told about the incident by her boyfriend, they had been together for about 6 months now when she was involved in the fatal car accident and we were planning her funeral. It certainly made us laugh, while crying.
We are still very good friends with all his family (his baby sister invited us to her wedding).

Longtime · 19/10/2025 13:44

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

I was going to say but Sooty from Sooty and Sweep is grey with black tips but then remembered that it's that's Sweep not Sooty and he's also a dog!

Showing my age not only by the fact that I was alive when Sooty and Sweep were a thing plus the fact that I didn't remember which was which!

motherofdragons11 · 19/10/2025 14:14

Mrsoftandhisstrangeworld · 14/10/2025 20:32

I'd be far more concerned that you went to a man's house the first time you've met him.

OP had accompanied said man so he could change his top, not bed him. There's danger everywhere in life if we look closely and OP had made a lighthearted post which didn't require off topic negativity.

TeacherForGood · 19/10/2025 14:42

At an academic conference some time ago, I had to run a break-out zone that was always going to be badly attended.

I am the male here. Girl, a little older than me, arrived, desperate for something to do that evening, with a seriously "I know how to do make-up, hair and evening-wear" female friend who, it turned out, had an interesting line in acting that students must never hear about. Girl had two cigarettes on the go, but was definitely more interesting, and wore pink Converse trainers. But I had to hang out with the "academic leaders" I was hosting so needed to go to a bunch of later meetings that ended up with an exam board dinner followed by parties, a gig by Spandau Ballet (big conference money) and serious observation of Columbian marching powder abuse till gone four in the morning. That's how some exam boards used to roll, twenty years ago.

But I kept the Converse girl's business card. And turned up to her "make-up virtuoso" friend's syllabus pitch on time the next morning, also attended by Converse girl. 'Cos I was interested. The exam board people her friend was due to meet were utterly wasted, and were late. But that's what happens away from home.

Twenty years later, Converses girl and I are thoroughly married.

Should have been a dreadful first date. But here we are.

Never lose hope.

LittleTroubleGirl · 19/10/2025 15:01

TeacherForGood · 19/10/2025 14:42

At an academic conference some time ago, I had to run a break-out zone that was always going to be badly attended.

I am the male here. Girl, a little older than me, arrived, desperate for something to do that evening, with a seriously "I know how to do make-up, hair and evening-wear" female friend who, it turned out, had an interesting line in acting that students must never hear about. Girl had two cigarettes on the go, but was definitely more interesting, and wore pink Converse trainers. But I had to hang out with the "academic leaders" I was hosting so needed to go to a bunch of later meetings that ended up with an exam board dinner followed by parties, a gig by Spandau Ballet (big conference money) and serious observation of Columbian marching powder abuse till gone four in the morning. That's how some exam boards used to roll, twenty years ago.

But I kept the Converse girl's business card. And turned up to her "make-up virtuoso" friend's syllabus pitch on time the next morning, also attended by Converse girl. 'Cos I was interested. The exam board people her friend was due to meet were utterly wasted, and were late. But that's what happens away from home.

Twenty years later, Converses girl and I are thoroughly married.

Should have been a dreadful first date. But here we are.

Never lose hope.

Wow @TeacherForGood that’s such a lovely heartwarming ending, never lose hope indeed

TeacherForGood · 19/10/2025 15:17

LittleTroubleGirl · 19/10/2025 15:01

Wow @TeacherForGood that’s such a lovely heartwarming ending, never lose hope indeed

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Some things stay stable. Heart stays warm, though complexity is never denied.

Molto · 19/10/2025 22:06

Showerflowers · 14/10/2025 22:42

My friend went on a date with a man who turned up wearing no trousers.

it was many years ago but this bloke was travelling far by train to meet for drinks then heading back. At the train station he’d put his hot chocolate down on the seat while he got something out his bag, then sat right on his hot chocolate. Big brown stain on his arse. He decides to dash out the station, grab new jeans and hurry back to catch the following train. He runs into a denim shop from back then called madhouse. Lots of jeans in piles in size order. He grabs one and pays. Gets to train just in time. Gets on and goes to toilet to change. The toilets disgusting and as he’s taking them off they dip onto the urine sodden floor. For some unknown reason the idiot decided to push the dirty jeans out the window! (This was in the 90’s). He then gets the new jeans out…..and realises he’s bought a denim jacket by mistake.

he was a true life mr bean

That’s an old Ricky Gervais bit from one of his stand up shows…

Darknessoutside · 20/10/2025 09:29

So sorry for your loss @400rider and thanks for the story 💐

TyredOfDogging · 20/10/2025 10:37

Name changed as everyone IRL knows about this one!
Second date with my partner, I went to the area that he lives in and we visited some beauty spots for the day etc. All very lovely. We watched a perfect sunset over the river and he had brought blankets along so I didn't get cold etc, very respectful and kind man.
At some point I had a very emotional breakdown about the prospect of him meeting my son and us all living together one day - where would we live, would my child accept him etc etc???? This was the first time I had dated since my divorce and I think I had a panic attack, I must have come across as a lunatic!

Then we went to a local view point overlooking the city. As more and more cars turned up, flashing their lights in varying combinations it became clear that he had inadvertently taken me to a well used dogging spot 😂
We left and drove back to the common where I had parked my car, sat and chatted, had a little snog etc. at around midnight I really did need to leave, but we realised that we were somehow locked inside his car. As the smaller person (but still quite large at the time) I had to remove my walking boots and climb out so I could unlock the doors, in doing this I landed in a very large and deep puddle 😆
Still laughing whilst driving home (around an hour on country roads) I hit a massive pothole and blew my front tyre. Roadside assistance said that it would be a 4 hour wait and knowing that I was soaked from the puddle and would freeze, my date picked me up and drove me home. As soon as we arrived at my home the mechanic called to say he was with my car 45 minutes away, so I changed very quickly and we drove straight back again. Date then followed me all the way home to make sure I was okay and then drove back to his house again....finally arriving home at 03:00 after an 18 hour day of fun.
Third date I just cooked dinner for him at mine the day after this extravaganza. We've been together two years now and are going from strength to strength.

Darlingx · 20/10/2025 12:09

I remember my friend who shall remain nameless had a one night stand with a date staying overnight at a local hotel and being hung over drank the glass of water on the night stand managing to drink his dates contact lenses and this was in the days of yearly expensive ones 🫣not the disposable weekly monthy ones of today

LoyalMember · 25/10/2025 18:04

I traveled miles by bus in the early 90s to meet a girl, and her friend turned up at the start of it and wouldn't leave no matter how heavy we hinted. An awkward, boring night followed. Another girl turned up wearing a fleece, black Wrangler jeans, and Adidas Samba trainers on. She wanted to go home after one drink, and invited me back. At her house, she pulled a biscuit tin tull of weed out from under a table and skinned up a spliff...