Page 8 | I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

TypeyMcTypeface · 15/10/2025 08:21

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:27

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well.

Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover.

Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant.

We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left.

The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house.

l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈.

Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed.

Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping.

I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me.

Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

There is an urban myth about guests who arrived at a house to be greeted in the front garden by a very large, enthusiastic dog. The dog came into the house with them and proceeded to bound around exuberantly, knocking things over and slobbering over everyone. The hosts didn't say anything so the guests politely ignored all this. When they came to leave, the guests made a point of saying 'good bye' to the dog at which point the hosts said "We thought he was yours!" 😄

whatusernameshouldiuse · 15/10/2025 08:39

My worst date ever was a strange one. Not in the sense of you letting a cat squat though.

i met a man online and we spoke for 3 months before meeting. The date was wonderful. Ended with a kiss and arranging a second.

the next day the guy called me to say hello and out of nowhere he said ‘you know if we had had sex last night you could be pregnant now. I thought he was trying to be funny but I didn’t want to appear stupid in not understanding so I replied ‘yeah and if you had proposed we would be married’ It bothered me that he said that but I thought I was just getting the wrong end of the stick. I was in my early 20s and really naive.
The next day I was on facebook and saw he had put up he was engaged. I was like whaaat!! I read the comments and his mum was commenting saying when je called her the previous night to tell her she was chuffed and she cannot wait to meet whatusername. I blocked on everything immediately, got on the phone to my friend amd she howled! I was mortified. Now I laugh but also know I could have possibly become a Netflix program

DonnaSueWeloveyou · 15/10/2025 08:48

That is really funny! At least you’ll find out if he has a sense of humour or not…

I can just imagine Not-Sooty staring composedly out of the window at his baffled owner!

Chickensky · 15/10/2025 09:00

TicTac80 · 15/10/2025 07:15

@Chickensky, I think I'm surprised that he didn't show pics, as I'm surrounded by people who will readily show pics of their pets very quickly (myself included!) 😂

And that's fair enough. It was just a thought as to why he might not have in their early comms 😃.

Cornflakegirl7 · 15/10/2025 09:14

CremeBruhlee · 15/10/2025 07:17

Eek northerner here who would usually use ‘it goes through me’ to mean it makes me feel physically uncomfortable like nails on a blackboard. Will be more careful saying it in future 😂

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I stand corrected as I have also heard it have this meaning HOWEVER, if someone says 'that sound of nails on a board/cotton wool squeaking/Katie Price's voice goes through me' it is pretty evident that you're not going to eat said subject!

Saying it about food or drink, different meaning altogether! 😂context is important!

fatphalange · 15/10/2025 10:26

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

I can imagine his mates asking how the date went and him replying ‘she chose a chain restaurant - who does that?!’ 😂

RandomUserName96 · 15/10/2025 10:33

LemonJellyLegs · 14/10/2025 22:44

Not quite a first date, but first time he had stayed over to dtd. Anyhoo, neighbour friends of mine had been teasing me about this for days, so when he left in the morning to go to work early, (I don't know why I did this) I got 6 pieces of printer paper and stuck them on the window with scores on, so my friends would see it on the way taking their kids to school. He only came back didn't he, to get his coat 😑 I didn't even score him well
0️⃣8️⃣ 0️⃣8️⃣ 0️⃣7️⃣

Readers, we didn't get married 😔

Havent finished catching up, so may have been answered, but what does each score pertain to?

Cornflakegirl7 · 15/10/2025 10:45

What is an ideal first date? I don't know-for me, a meal for me is too formal and too much scope for things going wrong-not liking the food, spilling something, something stuck in teeth, food taking ages, rowdy people and you're stuck with them for ages if you don't like them and who pays? Drinks-great, less formal but scope for nerves making people drunk and putting onself in danger if late at night and unable to get a taxi etc.
Coffee? Boring and I personally hate coffee shops.

Nothing on the scale of the above but, I met my ex for a walk and then non-alcohol drinks as we were both driving, but the half way point for us was somewhere neither of us knew.

I spoke to family who knew the area and thought I had it sorted and we'd found a spot good for walks but nope not sure what went wrong.

My parents who'd said it was a good spot were out driving somewhere but once we'd met and parked up I had to call them, embarrassed as the place was nothing like what we said, all fenced off farmland with private signs and I'd told date this was a good spot but I now had no idea! We spoke to them and they said to drive further, park near the river. We did this in her car, but ended up down a steep slope, nowhere to park properly and practically in someone's back garden! I was afraid her car wouldn't make it back up.

This also meant that my dog (who was with us as she was keen to meet her) had to get into her pristine car and left mud and fluff all over the place as she insisted on driving (and that she didn't mind, but I did!) but then we still didn't get our walk! Eventually I said I knew a nice park nearby-ish, so we went there. My dog unbeknownst to me had a dodgy belly and 'squatted' repeatedly leaving tiny blobs of poo-ey liquid that were near on impossible to pick up and embarrassed the hell out of me.

We retreated to a pub for a coke/shandy eventually. We should've done that in the first place!

Ex before that, we went to a custom bike show that my friend was hosting. Great day but I got very nervous and subsequently very drunk. She had to practically carry me up the stairs when we got back to mine. We'd already slept together (and I'm gay, so danger factor is depleted) but she'd not seen me like that and I was so embarrassed. We stayed together for 5 years so it clearly didn't put her off.

Timelineuk · 15/10/2025 10:50

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HmmOdd · 15/10/2025 12:07

Rock and roll!

BauhausOfEliott · 15/10/2025 15:10

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 22:48

I’m sure I heard Karl Pilkington tell this story on XFM when I was listening to the old episodes, did your friend phone the radio station to tell the story by any chance? It was identical and defo the 90’s.

I think it’s hilarious this guys error of judgement is still being discussed 30+ years later 😂

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I've heard many people claim this happened to their friend - I think it's an urban myth to be honest.

BauhausOfEliott · 15/10/2025 15:19

RoseAlone · 14/10/2025 23:36

I'm guessing that you know less than nothing about cats.

OH NO! Call the police.

HappyMamma2023 · 15/10/2025 15:22

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

Spot on! We all make mistakes OP. I hope you can see the funny side xx

hidinginthebathroomagain · 15/10/2025 15:32

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Omg this is gold

hidinginthebathroomagain · 15/10/2025 15:34

@DarkYearForMySoul I’m crying and snorting at that I

Selmaselma · 15/10/2025 16:09

Why did Tom not introduce you to his cat? Would have avoided all these issues.

The13thFairy · 15/10/2025 17:21

Back, back in the mists of time I was spending time with a young man and he asked me back to his place to meet his mother and grandmother. I had found his behaviour a bit unusual but I was sixteen and didn't know very much of life. His mother said, "Of course, a bomb dropped next door just as he was being born. We always thought that that had something to do with it." His grandmother concurred. I slowly backed away from the whole situation. I hope he is alive and happy with someone not as shallow as I was.

Katflapkit · 15/10/2025 20:02

gottamoveon · 15/10/2025 06:34

Has there been a second date OP?

Text him and offer to treat him to a coffee and cake in a cat café

JKGalbraithsTable · 15/10/2025 20:11

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

The alternative Gavin and Stacey plot line…

TheMagicDeckchair · 15/10/2025 20:19

TheaBrandt1 · 14/10/2025 23:20

Not a date but I when single in my twenties once went in full Halloween fancy dress to an after work party. I walked in and everyone else was in suits. I then did tequila shots and fell head first into a bush in the way home one of the suits had to pull me out. It wasn’t why I left that city and moved to London but it did feature in my decision making process. I was too fun for them.

lol, this is so Bridget Jones!

socialdilemmawhattodo · 15/10/2025 20:21

Sorry laughing too. But then I now have indoor cats, and bloody hell they are temperamental. Cats need to be outside!!

Floundering66 · 15/10/2025 20:23

This is a funny dating story! I hope you can look back a laugh, it’s an innocent mistake.

A friend met someone online and after really hitting it off she took him back to hers - they were in the bedroom, one thing leading to another, when he said he needed the bathroom. After 15 minutes he hadn’t come back so she went to look with him - he had done a runner and completely emptied all the food from her fridge and cupboard!

ShoveItUpYourArseMargaret · 15/10/2025 22:03

This is hilarious

GhostInTheWashingMachine · 16/10/2025 00:52

BauhausOfEliott · 15/10/2025 15:10

I've heard many people claim this happened to their friend - I think it's an urban myth to be honest.

Show quote history

I remember hearing Spike Milligan (yes, I'm very old) tell a version of this many decades ago in which the man throws his trousers and underwear out of the train window, having had an "accident."

He then opens the bag to find it contains a ladies' cardigan, which he then has to put on by inserting his legs through the sleeves, leaving his "wedding tackle" dangling in full view.