Page 4 | I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

FatGirlSin · 2025-10-14T19:27:12+00:00

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well. Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover. Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant. We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left. The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house. l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈. Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed. Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping. I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me. Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

Original poster

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 22:02

Frequentlyincorrectbut · 14/10/2025 21:12

I really wish there was a laughing emoji for this post, so funny.

I was at a posh works dinner where I didn't know anyone and was trying to pretend to be sophisticated. I picked up my bread roll to break it in two, but it was a bit hard, so I squeezed it a bit more firmly and it flew out of my hands and into the soup of the man sitting next to me. I tried to style it out by saying deadpan 'excuse me, can I have my bread roll back?'. He did not laugh. After that, I got extremely drunk and snogged the man on the other side of me at dinner, which technically was our first date. Does that count?

This is exactly something I would do, the times I try to act sophisticated are usually the times I fuck up the most. It’s normally tripping, saying the wrong thing or being covered in something that I have to buy stain remover for 😂.

Whilst it didn’t have me spitting my drinks out or snorting them through my nose, it did give me a proper fit of the giggles imagining it so thank you!

OP posts:

landlordhell · 14/10/2025 22:02

Not where I thought this was going. I thought Tom was going to appear in nothing but a thong!

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 14/10/2025 22:08

That's hilarious, OP. At least, once the embarrassment dies down, you'll have a funny story you can tell people. Proper ice breaker, that one.

I would maintain that it's your date's fault though. Who calls a non-black cat Sooty? 😄

TiredofLDN · 14/10/2025 22:08

Once got EXTREMELY drunk on a first date in a club in Camden, went for a wee, came back to find my date and thought “fuck it I’ll just go in for a snog”. Snogging away - quite enthusiastically if not entirely the fireworks I’d hoped for- when someone grabbed my arm. Squinted inspection suggested that in fact the person grabbing my arm was my date. I’d come back and just started snogging anyone with the same big hair and skinny indie boy vibe. (It was the noughties. They all wanted to be Pete or Carl.)

There was not a second date. Sobered up FAST and realised Fake Date was NOT a like for like replacement, so I skedaddled pretty quick after Real Date stormed out.

Ah to be 23 again.

Dontsayyouloveme · 14/10/2025 22:11

i can cat-egorically say I wouldn’t think to let a cat in anyone’s house without checking with the owner if they wanted me to first. I find it a little bizarre tbh

Original poster

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 22:12

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 14/10/2025 20:34

LOL that's great. Not really embarrassing tbh, very understandable!

My worst was reacting badly to dinner and waking up next to my date at 1am in cold sweat feeling like my intestines were going to fall out. Tiny flat and tinier toilet right next to the bedroom. Was seriously contemplating running outside and finding a bush...

Ouch!

I remember meeting a man in my twenties and thinking he was perfect, now I’m in my forties the one thing I appreciate about my age is the ability to spot those red flags before they get the chance to properly start waving.

For our second date he booked us a night away in the city where my best friend had recently moved to.
He wanted to meet my best friend to show her how “perfect we were together”

He booked the smallest cheapest guest house that was a 3/4 bed in a cupboard with a toilet and sink behind a screen. It was hotter than hell and I sometimes remember that date and think it actually was hell.

I ended up getting a taxi to my friends house that cost £90 at 3.30am as he seemed to be using that “bathroom” and his IBS as a test of faith for our “relationship”

I have got a shocking dating history thinking about it.

OP posts:

Checkcheckout · 14/10/2025 22:13

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Holy fuckballs…where to start with that one 🤣. Even more awkward that it was a work contact.

Back in my yoof I worked with a guy I fancied, we had been low key flirting for months before we finally went on a date, culminating in going back to my house for a shag. Months of anticipation had led up to this moment, where it turned out he had a micro penis. I mean I’ve never seen anything like it before or since, it was maybe 3cm long. It was awkward as hell because I obviously had to pretend that I hadn’t noticed he had a micro penis, he knew I had but had to pretend he didn’t know etc. Anyway, it was at the point of no return so had to go through the motions but honestly I had no idea if it was in or not. Things at work were…weird after that. Also, I didn’t just work with him, he was my boss 🤦‍♀️

HotTiredDog · 14/10/2025 22:17

Mrsoftandhisstrangeworld · 14/10/2025 20:32

I'd be far more concerned that you went to a man's house the first time you've met him.

I thought it was some sort of complicated set-up (& wouldn’t end well).
The Wrong Cat story is a minor issue & a very happy ending compared to the other options.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/10/2025 22:18

And I’m also very surprised that the fact he’s a Persian wasn’t also mentioned very early on!! It’s usually the first thing that is commented on when I show pictures.

Chickoletta · 14/10/2025 22:20

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

This. 100%.

Just be grateful that the real Sooty didn’t make a break for it out of the window, never to be seen again. See? If could have been worse!

Cornflakegirl7 · 14/10/2025 22:20

Another one suprised that if he loved his cat so much he didn't show you photographs nor did you ask to see one? And the subject of you having let in the cat never came up on the date? I would've said something like 'Can you check I've closed your window properly, just let your cat in?' Probably or at least asked to see the cat-It's a good conversation starter!

Also 'it goes through me' DEFINITELY has no meaning other than 'It give me the trots/shits/diarrhea/insert colloquial term for the same'!

Imbusytodaysorry · 14/10/2025 22:22

NinaGeiger · 14/10/2025 21:11

I also heard a girl on the radio saying she had a great date and stayed at the guys house. He left early in the morning for work and she was alone in his house.
She did a big poo that wouldn't go down the toilet so she found a carrier bag and fished the poo out and put it in the carrier bag to take away with her and dispose of.
On the way out she put the bag down and wrote a note saying what a great time she'd had and this was her number.
Then just as she closed the front door behind her and it locked, she realised she had left the carrier bag with the poo in inside the house, next to the note

I remember this too and have never forgot it .
I remember thinking I’d have moved village and went into hiding if it was me.
I’m sure they lived local to one another and met in a club .

GingerPaste · 14/10/2025 22:22

Crapola25 · 14/10/2025 21:04

I know someone who fell in the Thames on their first date - fully in. Had to be rescued by water police patrol.

I love this one 😂

voxnihili · 14/10/2025 22:24

When I was a young teacher, I (stupidly) met a first date at a restaurant in the town I lived and taught in. One particularly challenging young student saw us sit down for dinner and pulled up a chair and sat with us at our table just to be difficult. She stayed for a few minutes then got up and left, not before reminding my date to make sure he wore a condom. I still cringe whenever I think about it nearly 20 years later. Although, I wish it had scared him off, would have saved me a lot of grief!

leopardprintpants · 14/10/2025 22:25

Not a first date but very early on.. I stayed over and woke up in the morning SOAKED. Had to wake him and tell him.

I had wet the bed. SOBER. Never happened before or since.

The next weekend I came on my period during the night.. it was like a murder scene. He ran to the shops for tampons, pain killers and 2 cakes from the bakers while I showered (and cried in the shower!)

Reader.. He married me.

Crazycatladywithnocats · 14/10/2025 22:25

It was an honest mistake. If this puts Tom off, he’s not worth bothering with,

Fgfgfg · 14/10/2025 22:27

First date was fine. Two days later I saw his photo on Crimewatch. The bit where they bring up a few wanted photos.

Original poster

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 22:29

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

I just have no words…

I am curious if you ever looked him up again online afterwards? I would desperately love to know if he ever did hypnotise a woman and if there is a Mrs Green Lantern out there who found this all charming?!

I read your post 3 times just to get it to sink in, you have a way with words that made me envision it perfectly, I am now imagining alternative Gavin & Stacey episodes 😂😂.

OP posts:

Achewyhamster · 14/10/2025 22:30

My sister in law

Both her and my brother where early 20's when they met in a pub and had a few dates before she stayed the night (both lived with their parents)

God knows if it was a bug or food poisoning but they where laid in his bed when her stomach cramped

She couldn't stop the liquid that came out-all over herself,him and the bedsheets

I saw the poor thing doing the walk of shame down the stairs (id never met her until then) while clutching the stained bedsheets and she had to ask my mother if she could use the washer and the shower (first time she'd met my mother)

They've been together almost 20 years-married for 14 and have a teenager

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/10/2025 22:32

Dontsayyouloveme · 14/10/2025 22:11

i can cat-egorically say I wouldn’t think to let a cat in anyone’s house without checking with the owner if they wanted me to first. I find it a little bizarre tbh

I think it’s the sort of thing that you could end up doing automatically with very little conscious thought about it if you were used to living with a cat in a property with no cat flap. Our brains automate things for us, all the little things you have to remember to do while driving being a good example. If you were at any point used to letting a cat in, it might well be something that you just did without thinking. You’d know you’d done it (probably) but you wouldn’t think to check if you should, or mention it to anyone afterwards, because your conscious brain hadn’t been involved in the decision to do it.

Crazycatladywithnocats · 14/10/2025 22:32

FeckedInFrance · 14/10/2025 21:48

I had a dreadful second date.

After meeting for a promising first date coffee he invited me out to dinner in a naice restaurant. He was tall, handsome, sophisticated, athletic and very very charming.

All was going well as I left the table after the first course to use the loo (check for starter stuck in my teeth). Upon my return, whilst confidently striding back to the table in my new high heeled boots, I skidded on some food on the wooden floor. It was one of those skids that makes you let out a high pitched yelp the moment you start the skid because you know you’ve no control and it’s going to be an absolutely big one. So a loud strange sounding yelp just to get the entire restaurant’s attention, followed by an elephant-on-ice-skates type of tumble, before hitting the ground hard whilst taking with me the freestanding ice bucket and bottle of Champagne that the adjacent table had ordered.

I sprained my wrist, snapped my charm bracelet and the champagne bottle and ice bucket emptied on my crotch. It was probably one of my most undignified life moments to that point. I tried to style it out but had to call it a day after the main course because I was in quite a bit of pain, sore wrist, sore leg and bottom muscles and wet through jeans. He promised to call me for a third date but that was 2002 and I’m still waiting.

Oh that second paragraph 🤣🤣. I wonder if he’ll call you.

ChaliceinWonderland · 14/10/2025 22:32

BrunchBarBandit · 14/10/2025 21:15

Omg
I’m done

This is the BEST THING I have ever read on mumsnet

£90?! Random amount
Lick you out before his train?
Lizard outfit?!
Hypnosis via his ring?!
Being so stuck for conversation and having to ask about the contents of his rucksack (bless you); and then to be shown a porn mag!

This will be book-marked forever

Thank you

Edited

Show quote history

I also love this. Weird but so unforgettable!

SP2024 · 14/10/2025 22:33

Brilliant! I wish I had good dating stories, everyone I saw before I met my husband was just boring or very normal. Everyone else has great dating stories. You should name your first child sooty 🤣

researchers3 · 14/10/2025 22:33

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

Ha, this!!

Catlover77 · 14/10/2025 22:36

Cornflakegirl7 · 14/10/2025 22:20

Another one suprised that if he loved his cat so much he didn't show you photographs nor did you ask to see one? And the subject of you having let in the cat never came up on the date? I would've said something like 'Can you check I've closed your window properly, just let your cat in?' Probably or at least asked to see the cat-It's a good conversation starter!

Also 'it goes through me' DEFINITELY has no meaning other than 'It give me the trots/shits/diarrhea/insert colloquial term for the same'!

It goes through me means it makes me cringe. That is a common expression around this neck of the woods