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Original poster

I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

218 replies

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:27

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well.

Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover.

Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant.

We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left.

The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house.

l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈.

Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed.

Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping.

I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me.

Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

OP posts:
MyPeppyCat · 14/10/2025 23:15

I had a terrible date. The guy and I just didn't hit it off, zero chemistry, no sense of humour in common, made worse by his asking me what our table number was (yes, I know, pure class) and my having a giggling fit when I realised that of all numbers, we were sitting at table 69. Shortest date ever.

blessthischarmingmess · 14/10/2025 23:17

Not MY mortifying first date, but my DHs with me. Went back to his flat (slightly worse for wear!) to be greeted by what I can only describe as absolute CARNAGE. DH is a builder. DH at the time lived in a very small flat. DH had a one way system around his living room, hemmed in by his tools. He had been working away during the week for about 4 weeks by this point, and had been coming home, emptying his van, taking the next lot of tools, refilling his suitcase, and leaving again. I walked into his living room and immediately stepped into( and tripped over) a bucket. He moved about 3 weeks of dirty laundry off his couch so I could sit down. Kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it. Beds had no sheets on them. I still fancied a shag, so we jumped a taxi back to mine instead. He said he got home the next morning, walked into the flat and had an “oh FUCK” moment when he saw the place. Next time I saw him, his place was spotless, he cooked me a delicious dinner, and we’ve been cheerfully married for a while now 🤣

KeenGreen · 14/10/2025 23:19

This is a fantastic thread

I am looking forward to an update from Tom!
If he can’t find this funny he is not worth it!

enjoying all the stories!

I don’t have a particularly good story (more of a non story) compared to these. I’ll provide it anyway for the tax 🤣 after lots of chatting online I met my date in a town quite far from where I lived. He didn’t drive but I did and parked in a multistory car park.
We had lunch and cinema and walked around. All going well.
Go back to car park and find it locked all barriers down. It was a Sunday and the car park shut early. Cue panic and tears from me, we find a door open, go inside find a security person in a kiosk who let me get my car out. Saying he was about to leave and how lucky we were otherwise it would have been there overnight!
We’ve been married nearly 15 years.

TheaBrandt1 · 14/10/2025 23:20

Not a date but I when single in my twenties once went in full Halloween fancy dress to an after work party. I walked in and everyone else was in suits. I then did tequila shots and fell head first into a bush in the way home one of the suits had to pull me out. It wasn’t why I left that city and moved to London but it did feature in my decision making process. I was too fun for them.

TicTac80 · 14/10/2025 23:27

Absolutely love these stories!! OP, as an owner of 3 cats, I'm amazed and shocked he didn't show you lots of pics of Sooty!! WTAF?! Most of the cat and dog slaves/people I know will show pics at any possible opportunity. Would I be upset if someone let a cat into my place? Yes. But if I'd not shown them pics of my DCats, then I wouldn't blame them. Have you heard back from Tom yet? How's Sooty?

RightOnTheEdge · 14/10/2025 23:28

Katflapkit · 14/10/2025 22:36

To be fair Sooty is grey with black ears

Show quote history

That's Sweep. Sooty is yellow!

RoseAlone · 14/10/2025 23:36

I'm guessing that you know less than nothing about cats.

ArtfulDenimSheep · 14/10/2025 23:39

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

😂🤣😂🤣 Glad that your able to share this story here and that no harm came to you. It would make a great scene in a film 🤣😂🤣

Ohnobackagain · 14/10/2025 23:42

Sminty2 · 14/10/2025 22:41

First date, lovely man. I was trying to look really elegant walking down a couple of steps in a restaurant. Missed the middle step, put my hands out to break my fall, right hand straight into the middle of a delicious Sachertorte on the top of the dessert trolley.

Not thinking straight, I wiped my hand on the back of my dress (I know) and walked back to the table. Sat down and finished the meal. When we stood up to leave, it looked like I had poohed my pants
during dinner.

Never saw him again.

OMG I’m crying here, DP thinks I’ve lost the plot, I’ve made myself wheeze I was laughing so much

ilovepixie · 14/10/2025 23:44

That’s brilliant OP. Something to tell the grandkids 😂😂

Pigeonhead · 14/10/2025 23:44

Name change for a story i’ve told real life friends.. Years ago I had been talking to someone online for a while but it was hard to find a day to meet up that suited us both for a while so we were going to meet quickly while I was between trains going through London. Time was quite tight but enough to grab a coffee. A pigeon shat on my head, presumably an ill pigeon as it was absolutely horrendous. I tried to wash ill pigeon diarrhoea out of my hair in a train toilet sink and then went to meet him, for some reason the time pressure of it all made me forget I could just cancel. I had wet pigeon diarrhoea hair, which I didn’t even try to explain. He never got in touch to arrange a proper second date. I quite liked him too!

Clarinet1 · 14/10/2025 23:48

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 14/10/2025 21:54

You are Miranda, aren't you?

Just what I was thinking! Such fun!

HelenaWaiting · 14/10/2025 23:51

First date in a trendy cellar bar. Really cool, sophisticated guy - looked and dressed like Bowie circa Young Americans. I'd been angling for a date for ages. All going well until I got up to go to the loo - loos were up a flight of stairs at the side of the bar. Whilst I was powdering my nose he must have decided to get another round of drinks. Returning, I lost my footing at the top of the stairs and sat down hard. I can still see the expression on his face as I tobogganed down the stairs towards him.

ComedyGuns · 15/10/2025 00:06

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Wow! That is actually so disturbing and (obviously, comfortably) not in the UK!!

Useitupwearitout · 15/10/2025 00:14

My parents met in the late 50’s didn’t even have house phones so if you made an arrangement to meet up again you just had to go. They met at a dance and arranged to meet up a week later, my mum said that when she saw him he was smartly dressed in a suit (as was the norm back then) but had a big scarf wrapped around his face, which was odd as it was in August. Anyhow they went into the dance and he refused to take the scarf off and was speaking with a bit of a lisp and whistle, mum said she was about to make an excuse and go and meet her girlfriends when my dad pulled down his scarf to show her his lack of front teeth. He was a keen cyclist and had been in an accident since they had met the previous week and had knocked out 4 of his front teeth but he had liked my mum so much and was too much of a gentleman to stand her up that he came anyway. Great story for their wedding and he died just 1 yr short of their Golden Wedding Anniversary.

GloriousRain · 15/10/2025 00:20

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

At no point in this story did I guess what was coming next! 😂😂😂

AlexisP90 · 15/10/2025 00:20

I was about 26

Had been set up with a friend of a friend who I really fancied.

I was so nervous I decided to have a few glasses of wine before the date. Just to steady my nerves. He had booked a really nice restaurant and we agreed to meet outside.

This restaurant was in the middle of nowhere but I saw it was a 15 minute walk from the station so decided walking would be fine. Across a country road....

About half way into my walk I really REALLY needed a wee. The road was near a foresty area so I thought quick pee then back on track.
Mid wee I slipped and went flying down the hill that was just beneath the bush I had chosen as the perfect spot.
I went tumbling, wee all over me then landed in what I can assume was cow or dog or some kind of animal poo.
In my hair. On my dress.
I decided the restaurant was closer than the station so quick sprint clean up in the bathroom then probably taxi back and abandon the date.

Oh no. He got there early and was stood right outside. And there i rock up covered in poo wee and twigs/grass

I thought i might die on the spot right there. I had to explain the story then drag myself through the posh restaurant to the bathroom to clean what I could.

He then drove me back to the station, mostly in silence stinking of wee and poo.

We actually did have another date, where i realised we had nothing in common, had nothing to talk about and this had all been a complete waste of time...

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 15/10/2025 00:21

ComedyGuns · 15/10/2025 00:06

Wow! That is actually so disturbing and (obviously, comfortably) not in the UK!!

Show quote history

Why do you say that story wasn’t in the UK?

BruFord · 15/10/2025 00:27

Aww, @FatGirlSin , I can totally see your logic assuming that the outdoor cat was Sooty.

But it’s also hysterical. 🤣

bollockyness · 15/10/2025 00:31

I want the twist in the story where the two cats have mated and Tom is overrun with kittens 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

EdithBond · 15/10/2025 00:43

@Beekman ah, man. That’s creepy as hell. Good story, though.

@FatGirlSin Easy mistake to make with the cat. Neighbour should be OK if he explains what happened.

Katflapkit · 15/10/2025 00:43

RightOnTheEdge · 14/10/2025 23:28

That's Sweep. Sooty is yellow!

Show quote history

Bloody hell you are 100% right.

I am mixing up my gloves puppets. Odd to call a grey cat Sooty when Sweep is up for the taken.

TrousersOfTime · 15/10/2025 00:49

Hopefully, he'll be so impressed that you actually demonstrated (attempted) care for the cat (that you thought was his) that he'll decide you're a keeper!

fiddleplayingbrunette · 15/10/2025 01:32

Fgfgfg · 14/10/2025 22:27

First date was fine. Two days later I saw his photo on Crimewatch. The bit where they bring up a few wanted photos.

Edited

😳😳

Chickensky · 15/10/2025 01:36

TicTac80 · 14/10/2025 23:27

Absolutely love these stories!! OP, as an owner of 3 cats, I'm amazed and shocked he didn't show you lots of pics of Sooty!! WTAF?! Most of the cat and dog slaves/people I know will show pics at any possible opportunity. Would I be upset if someone let a cat into my place? Yes. But if I'd not shown them pics of my DCats, then I wouldn't blame them. Have you heard back from Tom yet? How's Sooty?

I don't think it's strange at all. They are chatting casually and he may not want to be overly zealous in their first communication about cats? It's good he's discussed Sooty but why would he need to do more?

This comes from someone who met their husband of 13 years through OLD. I didn't even mention my cats and he was fine with them when he got to know me.