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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

218 replies

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:27

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well.

Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover.

Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant.

We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left.

The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house.

l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈.

Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed.

Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping.

I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me.

Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

OP posts:
Namechangedforspooky · 14/10/2025 20:28

That’s so funny!
sorry OP…

Hellogoodbyehowdoyoudo · 14/10/2025 20:29

🤣🤣🤣

Tutorpuzzle · 14/10/2025 20:30

Where’s that laughing emoji when you need it?!?🤣.

I also think that story might be quite hard to top! Poor Sooty…

BoarBrush · 14/10/2025 20:30

Gave me a good chuckle too. Send Tom a text laughing at what a twat you were. It's a great story to tell the kids....

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

LadyKenya · 14/10/2025 20:31

Thanks for the laugh OP. Who knows your date may be seeing the funny side of things, and want to see you again. Who says you have blown it!

Dozer · 14/10/2025 20:32

Brilliant!

Tom would be churlish to be put off by it.

Mrsoftandhisstrangeworld · 14/10/2025 20:32

I'd be far more concerned that you went to a man's house the first time you've met him.

HellsBells13 · 14/10/2025 20:34

🤣🤣🤣 I think you will hear from him once he's calmed down. I remember an online disaster date where a woman had used her dates bathroom for a poop and said poop would no go round the bend! 😆😆😆

itsgettingweird · 14/10/2025 20:34

😂😂😂

Also lI’ve that in a cat saga related date thread the date is called Tom!

purpleme12 · 14/10/2025 20:34

This is quite amusing

Although can see why he might be miffed!

If you said sorry I don't think it's bad enough to not see you again

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 14/10/2025 20:34

LOL that's great. Not really embarrassing tbh, very understandable!

My worst was reacting badly to dinner and waking up next to my date at 1am in cold sweat feeling like my intestines were going to fall out. Tiny flat and tinier toilet right next to the bedroom. Was seriously contemplating running outside and finding a bush...

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/10/2025 20:34

Hmmmm....

Definitely a funny story.

Whyherewego · 14/10/2025 20:35

Oh that is not that bad !

I had a first date where the guy turned up and was a lot shorter than his profile. I knew this as he was shorter than me. I was trying to be polite so had a drink but was thinking .. you have made this obvious lie so what else have you lied about.
Anyway chatted a bit and then I said I had to go. I leant in to get my glass to take to the bar and he thought i was leaning in for a snog. So proceeded to try to stick his tongue in my mouth and I was so sprised I said very loudly "no" (I didnt mean to be quite so abrupt it just came out) and everyone turned around to stare at us. So I did what any self respecting first dater would do, I just embarrassedly ran out of the bar and never texted him again

Toadetta · 14/10/2025 20:39

Could be a story for a speech at the wedding 🤞

blankcanvas3 · 14/10/2025 20:47

This is so so funny

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:54

Mrsoftandhisstrangeworld · 14/10/2025 20:32

I'd be far more concerned that you went to a man's house the first time you've met him.

Very small town so although we’d never met before chatting online, I knew some of his friends and family and we chatted a lot before deciding to have a date.

My auntie lives in the same street as Tom, it’s that small a town!

OP posts:
ShinyWorthKeeping · 14/10/2025 20:55

YANBU, Tom is unreasonable for calling a grey cat "sooty"

Youdontseehow · 14/10/2025 20:56

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

100% this 🤣

mondaytosunday · 14/10/2025 20:58

I’m surprised you didn’t tell him or ask if you should let the cat in!
It’s a funny first date story to tell your future grandkids maybe…

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:59

HellsBells13 · 14/10/2025 20:34

🤣🤣🤣 I think you will hear from him once he's calmed down. I remember an online disaster date where a woman had used her dates bathroom for a poop and said poop would no go round the bend! 😆😆😆

I Remember seeing a video where a woman threw a poo out of a window and got stuck trying to get it back on a tinder date.

They carried on seeing each other and gave lots of interviews. I wonder if they are still together? I’m off to Google now.

I’ll be honest I think that would give me the ick!

OP posts:
Mydahliasareshit · 14/10/2025 21:00

Hopefully he sees the immense humour in you letting the black cat in and it becomes a tale you tell at your wedding! 😃

ColdLittleHeart · 14/10/2025 21:00

Oh god thank you OP 🤣🤣🤣 I needed that laugh!!

Newsenmum · 14/10/2025 21:00

Im sorry op but that’s made my day. Hopefully you both work out and this becomes a funny tale.

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