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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have just had a mortifying first date situation. Can people please tell me their stories for solidarity?

218 replies

FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 20:27

I met “Tom” online and we had been talking a few weeks and getting on well.

Tom told me lots about his cat sooty and I was happy he was an animal lover.

Met up for the first date at a bar between both our houses and hit it off straight away, we had some drinks then were supposed to be going for a meal but a drunk woman knocked her drink over him so Tom suggested we walk to his house (very close by) he could change his top and at the same time he’d order us an Uber to the restaurant.

We got to his house and Tom went to change his top and I waited and had a glass of wine in his living room. I noticed a black cat on the windowsill and opened the window and let it in, Tom was ready to go so we left.

The rest of date went well until the end of the night when we parted ways. Tom rang after he got home sounding astonished and asked if I’d let a black cat into his house.

l said yes I thought sooty wanted letting in, Tom then told me that sooty is an indoor cat and was in🙈.

Sooty is a grey Persian with a black nose and tips of ears, the cat I’d let in was a neighbours cat and the neighbour had seen him through the window in Toms house and wasn’t impressed.

Both cats were unhappy about each others presence and Tom had to clean up the house and calm down his neighbour and explain he hasn’t deliberately been attempting cat napping.

I feel so embarrassed and I told my best friend that I thought it was an easy mistake for anyone to make, she said that it was just typical of me.

Has anyone else blown a decent date doing something embarrassing? I’m not sure I’ll hear from Tom again.

OP posts:
QuickPeachPoet · 14/10/2025 21:02

If Tom doesn't find this funny I'd be throwing him back in the sea for his lousy sense of humour.
This story is priceless.

TheFormidableMrsC · 14/10/2025 21:02

This is amazing and exactly the sort of thing I’d do 😆. Tom would be a fool to let you go 🥰

Newsenmum · 14/10/2025 21:02

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Shocking!

JMSA · 14/10/2025 21:03

I’m invested now, so please let us know if and when he gets back in touch 😁🤞

Crapola25 · 14/10/2025 21:04

I know someone who fell in the Thames on their first date - fully in. Had to be rescued by water police patrol.

Original poster
FatGirlSin · 14/10/2025 21:06

ShinyWorthKeeping · 14/10/2025 20:55

YANBU, Tom is unreasonable for calling a grey cat "sooty"

According to Tom the reason the puppet sooty was called “Sooty” despite being yellow was the black noise and ears that were black with soot.

He seemed very proud of the name, thats fine but if you’ve also got a black cat trying to break and enter then I don’t think I made some a big error letting it in the house.

OP posts:
NinaGeiger · 14/10/2025 21:06

I got a bit carried away with wine and towards the end of the night I fell asleep in the toilets. When I came back he guessed I'd been asleep because my watch was imprinted on my forehead

Minimalistmamaoftwo · 14/10/2025 21:07

@Beekman this had me in tears 😂 I could just picture you not being hypnotised!
I had a first date once with someone from London, we went to a seafood restaurant and he ordered oysters, when they arrived I said no thanks they go through me. A perfectly normal thing to say where I am from meaning they give me the ick. He looked at me really strangely but said nothing. It was only several dates later when we were at borough market and I said I’d try an oyster that he said don’t they give you a funny tummy, the horror 🤦🏻‍♀️

DarkYearForMySoul · 14/10/2025 21:09

Years ago went to a wedding where the story of their 1st date was told. Honestly a true story.
He was early to pick her up so stopped at the pub to calm his nerves with a pint. He knew he was punching. While standing at a table outside, bunch of flowers in hand, some kinds rode by and egged him straight in the chest. As he threw his hands up to protect himself his beer went all over him too and flowers went flying. He chased the kids for a bit on the sunny, hot day, then realised the time.
He arrived for their 1st date hot, sweaty and covered in beer and egg, with no flowers 😂 Luckily she saw the funny side, cos they eventually got married.

DoYouReally · 14/10/2025 21:09

If Tom doesn't see how funny and adorable this is, it's his loss.

It's a cute, harmless mistake and a great first date story.

DiscoBob · 14/10/2025 21:10

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

It's after the puppet sooty that's grey with black ears and nose.

Edit.- it's sweep who's grey sooty is yellow. So yeah...

NinaGeiger · 14/10/2025 21:11

I also heard a girl on the radio saying she had a great date and stayed at the guys house. He left early in the morning for work and she was alone in his house.
She did a big poo that wouldn't go down the toilet so she found a carrier bag and fished the poo out and put it in the carrier bag to take away with her and dispose of.
On the way out she put the bag down and wrote a note saying what a great time she'd had and this was her number.
Then just as she closed the front door behind her and it locked, she realised she had left the carrier bag with the poo in inside the house, next to the note

Frequentlyincorrectbut · 14/10/2025 21:12

I really wish there was a laughing emoji for this post, so funny.

I was at a posh works dinner where I didn't know anyone and was trying to pretend to be sophisticated. I picked up my bread roll to break it in two, but it was a bit hard, so I squeezed it a bit more firmly and it flew out of my hands and into the soup of the man sitting next to me. I tried to style it out by saying deadpan 'excuse me, can I have my bread roll back?'. He did not laugh. After that, I got extremely drunk and snogged the man on the other side of me at dinner, which technically was our first date. Does that count?

Pistachiocake · 14/10/2025 21:15

Not mine, my aunt's story from the 90s. Date went well, she went back after with him to his house, excused herself to the bathroom at one point. Saw a shampoo for blonde hair. Man was not blonde. She queried it, he went red and admitted he lived with a woman but she was away. Aunt left, obviously not going to stay with a guy who was cheating. Bad enough, but then her car wouldn't start and she didn't have a mobile yet, so had to go back in to ask to use his phone.

BrunchBarBandit · 14/10/2025 21:15

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

Omg
I’m done

This is the BEST THING I have ever read on mumsnet

£90?! Random amount
Lick you out before his train?
Lizard outfit?!
Hypnosis via his ring?!
Being so stuck for conversation and having to ask about the contents of his rucksack (bless you); and then to be shown a porn mag!

This will be book-marked forever

Thank you

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/10/2025 21:17
  1. weird you did that without asking
  2. flaky you didn't mention it to the guy
  3. understandable neighbours annoyed
  4. awkward guy had to explain to them
  5. worrying he couldn't see the humour
  6. rude you didn't apologize
  7. doomed if you both can't move past it
RobertJohnsonsShoes · 14/10/2025 21:18

Find someone with a sense of humour. Lucky escape and nothing to be embarrassed about. As if he didn’t laugh. What a BORE.

momtoboys · 14/10/2025 21:19

I think this is one of those situations where a "How do you like me so far??" texts would be appropriate! :)😂

MrsTigerface · 14/10/2025 21:20

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

Absolutely this! It’s Tom who has caused the confusion here. Nothing to do with you - you are a complete innocent in all this.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 14/10/2025 21:23

Well I'd promptly fall in love with you after that.

Thoughtful AND helpful. What's not to like?!

Namechangerage · 14/10/2025 21:24

What the hell OP?! That’s definitely not a normal thing to do without checking! A quick “Bob, I think your cat needs letting in” would suffice!

But it is absolutely hilarious so thank you 🤣

Katie0909 · 14/10/2025 21:31

SparklyCardigan · 14/10/2025 20:31

This is Tom's own fault for calling a grey cat Sooty.

This!!

imogena · 14/10/2025 21:31

Ok so he has an indoor cat. Where exactly was the indoor cat when you were inside the house? Did Tom not introduce you to his much loved cat then or tell you to be careful not to let it out (I have an indoor cat and they are both things I’d do).

Barney16 · 14/10/2025 21:32

Beekman · 14/10/2025 20:58

Used to talk on the phone to a contact in another city a lot for work. Always used to look forward to the phonecalls and we got to know each other quite well. We were both single and one day we decided to meet up in person. I mean, why not? We got along like a house on fire so even if there was nothing romantic there, I knew we would be great mates. I decided to meet him in his city, much more vibrant than where I lived (and better shopping) so I traveled there and booked a hotel as it was a bit far to go there and back in one day.

Not sure why but he had mentioned in the past about having a 36 inch waist. When I saw him for the first time he clearly meant that underneath his very sizeable belly he might be a 36 inch waist but that was about it. He was also wearing an absolutely skin-tight, weirdly pattered shirt and looked very odd, like a fat lizard. Still, we went to dinner at a tapas place, which he berated me for as it was a chain (I had no idea, it just looked nice and the food was good) and I asked him about the shirt, to which he replied he was dressed up as Green Lantern and underneath his trousers was the rest of the costume and he would like to wear it without the trousers but in the past he found people used to make fun of him (no kidding) and he was refused entry to restaurants and bars. He also had a Green Lantern ring on which he waved in my face and said he used it to hypnotise people. I wasn’t hypnotised.

He was carrying a very large rucksack which appeared to be empty. For want of conversation, asked him what was in there and he proceeded to open it, take out a hardcore porn magazine, flip through it and point to a graphic scene (I won’t go into detail) and said “This is what I want”. Obviously at this point, the date was well and truly over and I told him so. He then offered me £90 to sleep with him and when I said no, said he would lick me out behind the railway station before he caught his train home. I declined and he just shuffled away, quite sadly.

He was pathetic and at no point did I feel threatened but if it happened now, I guess I would feel differently. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now and if he is still going on dates in his Green Lantern costume and trying to hypnotise women with his plastic ring.

edited to add: I know this isn’t a “how mortifying for me” first date but I thought the OP might want cheering up a bit 😀

Edited

After a very trying day this made me laugh so much I nearly rolled off the sofa. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chiaseedling · 14/10/2025 21:35

Minimalistmamaoftwo · 14/10/2025 21:07

@Beekman this had me in tears 😂 I could just picture you not being hypnotised!
I had a first date once with someone from London, we went to a seafood restaurant and he ordered oysters, when they arrived I said no thanks they go through me. A perfectly normal thing to say where I am from meaning they give me the ick. He looked at me really strangely but said nothing. It was only several dates later when we were at borough market and I said I’d try an oyster that he said don’t they give you a funny tummy, the horror 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes I thought you meant they gave you the runs!!!