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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel absolutely awful after encounter on train

458 replies

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:45

I feel awful, and I don’t know if I was or was not being unreasonable. I’ve had to travel by train today. I got on the first train and it was unallocated seating. Sat at an empty table with 2 seats either side. Plugged my phone in, took my coat off, got comfy.

Right before we were due to depart a large lady came huffing down the aisle. I only say this as I heard her the moment she entered the carriage. She stopped at my table and decided to sit opposite me. I smiled and went back to my phone. She was incredibly overweight to the point she had to really push herself in between the table and the seats and took up both empty seats across from me. She was sweating profusely, really out of breath and huffing and puffing, took out an inhaler and was gulping water. She was breathing really heavily on me and dribbling water on the table.

Not the most comfortable situation but whatever, fine. Then I started to get a smell. Can’t describe it really, BO but so much worse. I took out and ate an orange, spritzed some perfume on my collar hoping that would cover the smell. Didn’t work and after 15mins I decided I had to move. I got up and started getting my coat and bag and she said ‘Where are you going?’. I said ‘sorry?’, kinda shocked that I was being asked, and she repeated. I said I just realised I was in the wrong seat. She said that’s bullshit, there’s no seats, I’m a terrible liar and I obviously have an issue with fat people. I said I would feel more comfortable sitting elsewhere and she called me a body shaming bitch as I was walking away. Everyone heard and it was quite embarrassing.

Was I unreasonable here? Could I have dealt with this better? I feel bad that I made her feel bad, but she was also really rude to me.

OP posts:
Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 14:47

As she had pushed it and was rude I'd have said that I'm sorry, I tried to save your feelings, but I'm finding your BO too much so I'm moving.

HelloGreen · 14/10/2025 14:48

Wherethewildthings · 14/10/2025 14:47

As she had pushed it and was rude I'd have said that I'm sorry, I tried to save your feelings, but I'm finding your BO too much so I'm moving.

This. But I’d only think to say that after I’d moved away.

She was rude, not you.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/10/2025 14:49

You could have just said the truth once you were walking away. From the sounds of things she was unlikely to chase you even if she did get cross.

HmmOdd · 14/10/2025 14:50

What's the opposite of "and then everyone clapped"?

Maybe everyone ate a burger whilst looking at you disapprovingly?

CrazyGoatLady · 14/10/2025 14:52

"No, I don't have an issue with fat people. Just with you. Bye!"

AutumnCosy2025 · 14/10/2025 14:52

I would have said I was getting off at the next stop & just getting prepared.

Sitting at a table like that is an unusual choice for a large lady Were there many other options?

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:53

Yes, you’re all right, I should have just said the smell was getting to me, I suppose I didn’t want to antagonise her further or seem like a worse person to the people around me. I’m sure, if they couldn’t smell her, they thought I was a horribly judgemental cow.
Are people nose blind to their own BO? Do some people just not realise they stink? Even the panting on me and dribbling I would have been totally mortified doing that in front of someone.

OP posts:
themerchentofvenus · 14/10/2025 14:53

@SoberOctober2025 sounds more like she was fat shaming herself.

I can be a little outspoken and take offence to being wrongly accused, so I would have said "actually, the reason I am moving is because you smelly sweaty and rather unpleasant, so I would rather not sit near you. How dare you accuse someone of body shaming someone which I clearly wasn't".

Irenesortof · 14/10/2025 14:54

it wasn’t your fault. You are allowed to change seats and there are many reasons for doing so that are nothing to do with other passengers. Ignore.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/10/2025 14:54

Yes people are nose blind to their own BO, exactly.

Catpiece · 14/10/2025 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Productiveam · 14/10/2025 14:56

If it was that horrific a smell “everybody” who heard would know precisely why you were moving and prob jealous you got in first!

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:57

AutumnCosy2025 · 14/10/2025 14:52

I would have said I was getting off at the next stop & just getting prepared.

Sitting at a table like that is an unusual choice for a large lady Were there many other options?

The next stop was 45mins from the one we got on at so she’d have known that wasn’t true unfortunately.

The train honestly wasn’t that busy. There are some seats where it’s just 2 seats and no table, I rushed out of the carriage so quickly that I didn’t take notice if there were many of those available though.

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 14:58

If this is real, the only response I would have given to "Where are going?" would have been, "None of your fucking business".

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

If what’s true? My post? You think I’m bored enough to be making this up??? 😂 How bizarre!

OP posts:
Pepperedpickles · 14/10/2025 14:59

If the train was that empty I find it odd she chose to sit opposite you. Sounds like she’s a little unhinged, might explain the BO if she isn’t quite all there. You did nothing wrong. You’re entitled to sit wherever you like.. you weren’t rude.

JohnTheRevelator · 14/10/2025 14:59

If someone had asked why I was moving, I'd have said what business is it of yours? You don't owe a total stranger an explanation for your movements.

Productiveam · 14/10/2025 15:00

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:58

If what’s true? My post? You think I’m bored enough to be making this up??? 😂 How bizarre!

New to mumsnet?

loads of threads BS and pulled. It happens! There are a lot of bored mumsnetters out there!

UnctuousUnicorns · 14/10/2025 15:00

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:58

If what’s true? My post? You think I’m bored enough to be making this up??? 😂 How bizarre!

You don't think the internet isn't chock full of bored types making shit up? Okay! 🤷‍♀️ 😅

Productiveam · 14/10/2025 15:00

SoberOctober2025 · 14/10/2025 14:57

The next stop was 45mins from the one we got on at so she’d have known that wasn’t true unfortunately.

The train honestly wasn’t that busy. There are some seats where it’s just 2 seats and no table, I rushed out of the carriage so quickly that I didn’t take notice if there were many of those available though.

45 mins until the next stop???!!! What line is this?!

Redpeach · 14/10/2025 15:01

I wouldn't have sat at a table for four as a single traveller

EleanorReally · 14/10/2025 15:01

you should have just said I Want to Be Alone

KitsyWitsy · 14/10/2025 15:01

There are a lot of smelly people about lately. Not sure if the details about her weight are necessary but whatever.

I frequently have to move away from people with strong perfume on.

BipolarBabe34 · 14/10/2025 15:02

You have every right to move if you didn’t feel
comfortable with sitting near her. This was clearly a her problem. I would have probably been a lot blunter I think from what you said you seemed polite.

don’t let this bother you.

TheatricalLife · 14/10/2025 15:02

I'd have said i was going to the bathroom and just not return. None of her business where or why you are going.