I hate my DSD

[8842688l]

There I said it. Got it off my chest

shes a horrible, manipulative, spiteful girl who treats everybody like shit.

nothing more to say just needed to get it off my chest.

I’m pretty sure that leans on the side of psychotic

You think she’s suffers from psychosis? Do you know what that means?

No judgement for your name change, there are some very weird women on MN that will go on a witch hunt to out you.

did you stay with DH? I feel terrible on him for clocking out but for my own mental health I simply cannot

I don't understand why you are getting a hard time. SS involvement with 2 other small children would have been incredibly stressful. I completely understand the 'checking out'. It doesn't have to be forever, but for now you've had your fill and you are done. You are allowed to be done and to vent anonymously online.

Children can be held criminally responsible for their actions from age 10. There is a reason for this age. They are old enough to be held accountable for their actions.

Is she a danger to your other children OP?

The situation sounds awful. Can she not go back to living with her mother? It doesn't seem fair on your two children to have her with you.

Genuinely hope said people experience something like what I’ve explained and come back to read their comments in the future.

Very easy being an outsider looking in on a situation that never has caused you any issues and say “god you are being harsh”.

I wouldn’t say a danger no but I do think she’s a lunatic

It says troubled and hurt.
Why is that?
Look at her childhood ?

Stepparenting is incredibly hard because you do not have the unconditional love for a step that you have for your own. You do not have that thing where you love the bones of them and even their most awful behaviour is possible to forgive and even paint in a good light. That’s why stepmothers from time immemorial get a bad rap. Taking yourself away from the situation is the correct response.

No sympathy from me, sorry.
It’s crazy behaviour

OP you describe her as psychotic- is she being treated for this? Antipsychotics are surely the first line of treatment if she's experiencing psychosis; is there a family history of schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders?

Sorry guys not actually psychotic but I just wouldn’t be surprised

Im a SP before you start your pity party of no one understands.

You are comparing apples and oranges in your children, your DH parenting of them and her. Your children have not and hopefully will not have the same lived experience.

She isnt psychotic or a lunatic. She is doing what all teenagers who struggle with self image, attachment, poor parental relationships etc etc etc do. She is seeking validation in all of the wrong ways.

Hate her all you want. Praise your husband all you want. The reality is he is 50% responsible for the childhood experience she had has. From choosing to have her with a woman you clearly have so much distain for. Then even though her mother is apparently shit, was happy it seems for her to only move in with you 3 years ago all the while having two more kids.

Teens who go off the rails have being struggling far before they do.

And so you ended up with SS involvement. You arent the first you wont be the last and you say she said she was being neglected. In her mind she probably is.

They came, they saw they left but tell me what did your DH seek from them for support before they did?

I hear you OP.
Step parenting is a thankless task and until you've been one and had to deal with all the shit that comes with it, you'll never, ever understand. So many second marriages break up because of the conflict from the stepchildren, ex wife/husband, the torn mum/dad trying to make everyone happy. Its a shitstorm at best.
Its like people who think fostering will be taking on some poor, neglected child that will be so grateful for your warm, loving home and look at you with big doe eyes, forever in your debt for rescuing them....

What were the issues? It must have been quite serious given that she moved in with you when your DC were, what 1 and 3? How were things at that time?

Fully get the need to vent but you need to also find a way through it, for your own sake and also for hers and your small children who are growing up in a toxic environment.

We have stayed married yes. I left them to it for years. Literally did nothing, mostly had plans and did my own thing when she came - she told me at 17 she hated me so that was that. So me checking out suited everyone at the time - I’ll be crucified for it now though as much as if I’d been involved.
our marriage is a happy one and I am glad I stuck it out but I didn’t have young children and none together, my kids were teenagers so easier to be apart a few weekends a month.

I hope you can find a way through for all of you

Quite hypocritical really.

You say you are a SP but you too are comparing apples to oranges. Based on your response I’d assume you haven’t been subjected to such severe issues.

last bit - I can’t make any sense of?

Where are you from? The UK has quite low rates of step families compared to loads of other countries like US, Canada, France, Germany and Sweden.

OP, 15 year olds are little shits. We don’t kick them out when they’re our own because we love them, even though they’re unbearable. I think it’s really difficult for Step Mums who have no prior experience of teens. I can understand that it’s awful but believe me, one day you’ll be tearing your hair out with your own little ones.

This sounds horrendous OP.

At 15 you know right from wrong and she sounds like she can play any system to her advantage.

id hate to advise you to end your marriage but I think in your position is be considering it.

It's worth remembering that various step-parents who have killed their step children have been known to previously tell others that step child was 'bad', 'evil', etc.

Maybe those that read a few lines from an anonymous poster on the internet can consider that before they decide it's okay to call an unknown child "vile" and "a little shit"

Don’t be with her parent as they should always put their child before their partner.

Eh? Are you really inferring that the OP will harm
her step child?

There’s literally no ‘reason’ for this age. Look at all the things we protect children from
until they’re older - from marriage to caffeinated drinks.

@kittensinthekitchen are you okay?
what a bizarre thing to say?