I hate my DSD

[8842688l]

There I said it. Got it off my chest

shes a horrible, manipulative, spiteful girl who treats everybody like shit.

nothing more to say just needed to get it off my chest.

I feel for you OP, can you leave? What's the set up?

Awful thing to say about any child, especially one in your family.

Take the kids and leave OP, I would.

Do you understand the severity of the allegation?

Lying because you went to drink with your friends in a park but you were somewhere else… normal teenage lies

Anywho you don’t have to tell me twice, we have 2 DC and I can’t imagine allowing them to think this is normal behaviour

Look she’s had her parents split, a stepmother who hates her and a young sibling thrust upon her. I imagine the 3 year old has naturally got most of the attention for the past 3 years due to their age. This is attention seeking behaviour from your DSD writ large.

Your DP needs to spend a LOT of time with her - he needs to try to get to the bottom of her behaviour and tell her it has to stop, but he needs to do this in a context of giving her lots of love and attention.

Maybe you need to move out so he can do that.

Yes 4 & 6

I would imagine the feeling is mutual.

You have my sympathy OP.
I wonder if those criticising you have experienced what it is like to do your very best for a stepchild for years and get nothing but nastiness back.
15 isn’t a toddler.
Yes of course she needs understanding but at that age she also has a degree of control over her behaviour.
Step mothers aren’t plaster saints. Everyone has their breaking point.
You are allowed to say how you feel.

You need to end the relationship with her father. Your home must be toxic with so much hate washing about (from both of you, by the sound of things). End it. And soon. It’s the right thing to do.

Yawn, why does the stepmom always hate the step kid but not the feckless father who created the ‘monster’ … and in fact go on the have more kids with said shit dad!

If it's that bad then surely your DP needs to taking some responsibility? Instead you're painting them out to be a saint and the other parent is a villian🙄

I can bet you my last pound, not one person saying “poor child” “god what a terrible person you are” “she must feel the same about you” has ever experienced what I’ve had to.
I have done near to everything I possibly can for said child, but after some unforgivable shit. I am done pretending.

It’s ruined a brilliant marriage (which actually is the least of my worries right now) and I’m now looking at the option to get my two children as far away from this as possible.

Making allegations like that suggest she’s one very mixed up young person. She needs therapy to unpick this.
Maybe she feels pushed out, maybe she feels unloved, maybe there are issues with friendships, maybe her sexuality. Maybe she’s lonely, maybe she’s sad, maybe she’s resentful.
Who knows? But you are the adult here. If you cannot support her, then leave.

Op I was in an almost identical situation to you, its exhausting. At one point I had just had enough. You need to prioritise your own children

Sorry again, shite mother who sets no example. Parenting unfortunately takes two committed co parents to be effective. Doesn’t matter how strong of a parent one is, if the other is shit. Parenting isn’t consistent

Awwww poor you

Are the other two kids your husband's or did you already have them?

Seriously I understand there are some serious issues, but to normalise that behaviour because you feel “lonely”/“has issues with friendship” insert any other excuse is baffling. I’m sure we’ve all at some point been through some rubbish as a child teen whatever age, but to think that is okay is madness.

People who do such things as adults can have people wrongly accused of things they’ve not done.

Husbands

Sorry but I bet op didn’t start out hating her sd. I expect she’s had to endure years of abuse, moods, toxic behaviour, manipulation etc for op to feel this strongly. Yes sd I expect had some bad parenting, a mother who probably encourages this and that not great but at 15 she Knows what she’s and is not some poor innocent little thing!

op what is dad doing about it ?

Oh no, have I offended you?

is he a shit dad to them too?

She sounds vile OP I don’t blame you at all.

Not in the slightest 😁

If its that bad OP, I would leave. What you shouldn't do though (and no evidence you would from this thread) is try to make your husband choose between you or his kid.