Page 23 | I hate my DSD

8842688l · 2025-10-13T20:32:43+00:00

There I said it. Got it off my chest shes a horrible, manipulative, spiteful girl who treats everybody like shit. nothing more to say just needed to get it off my chest.

Dramatic · 15/10/2025 16:24

MissDoubleU · 15/10/2025 09:02

No one has said the behaviour is “normal” they have said the behaviour can be understood when a child is traumatised and hurt and feels completely abandoned then despised in their own home. I don’t think it’s entirely “normal” to repeatedly scream that you hate a 15 year old child, or that you think they are a crazy lunatic.

The child is reacting/acting out in pretty extreme circumstances having watched their father hurry along to start a new perfect family. DSD was originally left with her mother - who if OP is to be believed was also a lunatic. Then the mother abandoned the daughter and moved far away. The daughter now watches her father be a full time doting daddy to his new perfect children - something she didn’t (and likely still doesn’t) get.

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Her behaviour is not at all understandable, in any circumstances other than if she was actually being abused or neglected, which she's not.

Pluto46 · 15/10/2025 16:31

Would love to see the about turn by all the pearl-clutching, amateur psychiatrists if it were a stepson rather than daughter subjecting the OP to this behaviour.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 15/10/2025 17:08

Pluto46 · 15/10/2025 16:31

Would love to see the about turn by all the pearl-clutching, amateur psychiatrists if it were a stepson rather than daughter subjecting the OP to this behaviour.

No different from me. I feel very sorry for the child in this situation.

[Although why anyone thinks "pearl clutching" adds anything to their argument escapes me]

LifeSurvior · 16/10/2025 01:30

Pluto46 · 15/10/2025 16:31

Would love to see the about turn by all the pearl-clutching, amateur psychiatrists if it were a stepson rather than daughter subjecting the OP to this behaviour.

What an utterly ridiculous post.
So male 13 year olds have to be seen in a different light to female 13 year olds?
They are both adolescent children dealing with abondoment and split family life.
My husband was that 13 year old male, he is still dealing with the loss of what should have been a safe family environment.
His Mum and Dad did exactly the same thing, passed him around between themselves as they saw fit, put other new partners above his wellbeing and shoved him into new family dynamics that he wasn't able to control or understand.

WeeGeeBored · 16/10/2025 02:49

lucywho123 · 15/10/2025 02:08

Im not sure I agree with anyone thinking the DSD’s behaviour is normal tbh. It’s not. Calling SS and lying isn’t normal and the OP shouldn’t have to put up with it

I do think she’ll probably grow out of this phase however and it seems a shame to throw your relationship away, especially if he’s a great Dad overall. I think separate homes, at least for 2-3 years would make sense, if you want to make it work with DP I think it’s the only option in the short term

No one said it was normal. They said it was normal that her behaviour isn’t normal - in the circumstances.

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 11:22

LifeSurvior · 16/10/2025 01:30

What an utterly ridiculous post.
So male 13 year olds have to be seen in a different light to female 13 year olds?
They are both adolescent children dealing with abondoment and split family life.
My husband was that 13 year old male, he is still dealing with the loss of what should have been a safe family environment.
His Mum and Dad did exactly the same thing, passed him around between themselves as they saw fit, put other new partners above his wellbeing and shoved him into new family dynamics that he wasn't able to control or understand.

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His Mum and Dad did exactly the same thing, passed him around between themselves as they saw fit, put other new partners above his wellbeing and shoved him into new family dynamics that he wasn't able to control or understand.

Exactly this. IMO this is one of the huge problems in modern society and at the root of a good proportion of the explosion in MH issues. One can only hope that a generation of adults who went through this themselves - like @LifeSurvior 's DH - are now starting to realise the scars it can inflict and there will be a pendulum swing toward putting their children's needs back square centre of family dynamics - where they deserve to be. Once upon a time, having a family was seen as a significant responsibility.

LifeSurvior · 16/10/2025 17:39

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 11:22

His Mum and Dad did exactly the same thing, passed him around between themselves as they saw fit, put other new partners above his wellbeing and shoved him into new family dynamics that he wasn't able to control or understand.

Exactly this. IMO this is one of the huge problems in modern society and at the root of a good proportion of the explosion in MH issues. One can only hope that a generation of adults who went through this themselves - like @LifeSurvior 's DH - are now starting to realise the scars it can inflict and there will be a pendulum swing toward putting their children's needs back square centre of family dynamics - where they deserve to be. Once upon a time, having a family was seen as a significant responsibility.

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I completely agree with this.

We both came from divorced parents who had numerous other marriages, step parents, subsequent divorces, step siblings, live in "boyfriends and girlfriends" that should never have been around children in a step parenting role, a revolving series of adults coming and going with all the upset, house moves and drama that this involves.its a chaotic and damaging way to raise children.
I'm not for one minute suggesting that blended families cannot work and a lot do get it absolutely right and thrive but they are the ones who have taken the relationship slowly, think about the impacts of blended families and prioritise their childrens emotional and physical wellbeing.

We have had numerous roadbumps in our marriage but as a direct result of our chaotic upbringings we have had more of a drive to get over of them as neither of us wanted our two children to have the same disrupted childhood that we did.

MummytoE · 17/10/2025 12:02

MissDoubleU · 14/10/2025 16:30

Are YOU mental? You are a bloody adult. A parent.

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So what? She's has to put up with someone trying to wreck her life? Her kids life? Sounds like @8842688l has tried her best by this child, now it's time to put her and her kids first and find a way to get out. The young kids deserve better