AIBU? Partner’s mum bought his ex a gift

[Newname09]

I don’t know if I’m getting worked up for no reason so would appreciate some advice.

Been with my partner a year. Him and his ex split on not very good terms. They have a young child together who his mum often collects from the ex and brings to my partner.

anyway she’s come back from holiday, bought me a souvenir tea towel and also bought his ex a gift -- mug with biscuits.

it annoyed me tbh. I understand amicability and that’s fine, but buying the ex who caused so many problems and dragged your son through court lying and racking up debt in his name is weird in my opinion. If it was for the child, why not buy something like sweets or a toy?

thoughts?

I think it's fine.

She will always have some kind of relationship with this person as the mother of her grandchild, I’d just see it as a friendly gesture and not give it another thought.

I guess that is the mother of her grandchild…

Nice of her. Normal, natural, good hearted.

Your head is in the wrong space.

YABU

Dya want her to exclude her and be nasty to her? The mother of her grandchild?

Be thankful she's still nice to her ex DIL as I expect that's exactly how she will treat you too. She sounds nice and you sound petty

That’s the mother of her grandchild, it’s great for them to maintain a friendly relationship for very obvious reasons, their lives are tied together forever now. And regardless it is absolutely none of your business.

the ex who caused so many problems and dragged your son through court lying and racking up debt in his name

Have you seen court papers?
Or is what he told you?

They have a young child together

You are human and it's annoying, but YABU, it has nothing to do with you.

The grand-mother is trying to keep a good relationship with the mother of her grand-child, that's the right thing to do. You are not part of that relationship.

YABU.

Totally normal. Your partner and ex share a child so will be a part of each others lives for ever. His mum wants a good relationship with the mother of her grandchild, nothing wrong with that.

She's trying to maintain a cordial relationship with the mother of her DGC, and she sees the mum often.

You are very possessive of a woman you've only known a few months.

even if it's true, she's still the mother so frankly it's completely irrelevant.

It's about the child, not the relationship between the parents, and has absolutely nothing to do with the new partner.

This.

Yabu

YABU. She bought a gift for the mother of her grandchild. This woman is likely going to remain more important than you in the eyes of your partners parents for a long time yet. Perhaps until you have your own kids with their son.

YABU. It's not like she spent thousands, she's just being kind.

I'd imagine GM will do whatever it takes to remain on civil terms with the mother of her DGC.

I think YABU. You’ve only been on the scene for a year. The MIL has a bigger alliance to the ex because of the grandchild. Like it or not that woman is going to be on the periphery of your lives for the foreseeable.

I mean I understand how you feel, and that’s why I would never get involved with a man with kids and a batshit ex, but this is the path you have chosen, so I wouldn’t make a thing of it, you just have to grin and bare it.

I think you should be happy that she is nice enough to stay out of whatever happened between your boyfriend and his ex and concentrate on having a good relationship for the sake of her grandchild. One day that "ex with a child" might be you!

They are pretty generic gifts, yours and ex's. Gifts you would bring back for your team at work. I wouldn't be offended at all. It's a nice gesture from a woman who wants to keep the peace and keep seeing her grandchild.

YABU. None of your business.

Totally normal imo. When a couple have children there will inevitably always be some sort of link between the families, unless one parent goes rogue and disowns the child or whatever. I think she sounds like a kindhearted person who wanted to include everyone, nothing sinister.

if you’re going to date someone who has a child with another person you need to learn to be a grown up, not be jealous and have that ex in your life.

This woman is the mother of your partners child. She obviously was a part of the family and still is to an extent. It’s nice to your partners mother has a good relationship with her, it’s better than the adults in the situation being toxic and against each other. Especially with a child at the centre of it all.

Agree with this. She seems like a normal grandmother trying to navigate the situation. If it really annoys you, he's not for you.

YABU, she's given a gift to her grandchild's Mother, she has every right to am amiable relationship with her.