Waiter Asked for my Number

[Turducken]

Out for dinner with grown up daughter, at a fairly fancy restaurant, just the two of us. The waiter was friendly and perhaps a little over-familiar, but I didn't think anything of it, just assumed he was trying to be nice and/ or angling for a tip. However, when I asked for the bill, he brought it along with a pen and paper and asked for my number. I felt so awkward I couldn't get out of there quick enough and, although I tried to laugh it off, I'm still thinking about whether I should complain? On the one hand, am I overreacting because I'm very socially awkward, so others would be less bothered, or am I right in thinking it's inappropriate and I should say something, as it put a bit of a dampener on a pleasant evening?

or it was so you dint feel pressured with him standing over you? which would have been worse? its very much an- if you want to yes, if not don't.

I work in a restaurant and we are not allowed to do this - it puts the customer on the spot and makes them feel awkward and potentially puts them off returning!

That said, if a customer asks a member of staff for their number that's up to them if they want to give it. But giving theirs unprompted, or asking for the customers absolutely not allowed.

Depends if you feel you actually want him to get into trouble. Considering he waited until the end of the meal so you didn't feel uncomfy all dinner I don't think I would.

knowing how many couples meet in the work place, that would make a very sad and lonely world

OP has now confirmed that he put down the pen and "sauntered off". It doesn't sound at all like he put her on the spot nor applied pressure for an answer.

This sounds like a similar approach, if not preferable, to your suggestion of him giving his number, unsolicited.

Unprofessional, perhaps, but IMHO, not worthy of a complaint.

If I was the OP, I'd be far more anxious about making a complaint regarding this than simply not writing my number on the piece of paper.

"I’ve had plenty of numbers handed to me"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Isn't it crazy that not only she thinks like this she also had plenty other posters who agree with her. I honestly don't know any women like this in real life.

Wouldn't it! I met my husband in the workplace. No boundaries overstepped.

Honestly, at my age I’d be thrilled to bits x

Nor me. This is a strange one!

but staff won't feel pressured by stopping returning customers by refusing?

I woyld say rather than being old fashioned you are very modern. This is how people used to met. Exchanging phone numbers with people they came across in real life. Ive had dates with people who served me, did a job for me on my house / car or just got chatting at a bus stop. It's what we did before computers.

If THAT complete non-event was inappropriate for you, I would hate to work anywhere near you, you must be exhausting.

I answered similar to you but changed my wording from ‘old days’ as i remember doing these things, and refuse to believe I existed in the ‘old days’ 😅🤣

It’s different if you are colleagues and get to know each other, build a relationship and judge that it is appropriate. This wasn’t the case here. OP was a customer having dinner. No relationship was built. It was unprofessional and inappropriate.

Exactly. It is unprofessional. You don’t have to be a doctor to know not to put your customers in this position.

Boundaries
Boundaries

Yeah, it’s really terrible working with people who act professionally. 🙄

he put a pen and paper on the table and left fgs.

In other news I'm reading this whilst walking my dog.
An uninvited man just came upto me and said 'nice dog'. My dog did not ask for his unsolicited opinion on his looks!
Then proceeded to tell me he has the same dog. How dare he think he can interrupt my dog walk, I am an introvert you know (I actually am but introvert has fuck all to do with being socially awkward).
Can anyone advise who I can report this to?

Please tell me you're being sarcastic! It's not the 1800s anymore. 'Know your place' sounds very Victorian.

So would I🤣

I think she was joking :)
Well I hope so 😆

This is quite weird, I agree with the OP!

Unless you're on holiday somewhere like Turkey then I would think it highly unprofessional. It would be slightly more acceptable if he had just passed his number to the OP at the end of their transaction, but this is a massive overstep.

I also cannot see the OP being the only woman he has done it to, I would imagine he plays a percentage game and gets quite a few shags out of it.

I do wonder if the owner is aware of this predatory behaviour, can't be good for repeat business.

Did the man also ask for your dog’s address to be written down and given to him or are you being deliberately obtuse with a very clearly non-comparable analogy.

It’s unprofessional.

He is working and shouldn’t be asking women for their numbers!

What other jobs would find this acceptable?

The chap on the till in Tesco?
A Courier?
A policeman?
A teacher?

I would absolutely tell the restaurant manager that his approach was embarrassing and it’s put you off from returning.