Waiter Asked for my Number

[Turducken]

Out for dinner with grown up daughter, at a fairly fancy restaurant, just the two of us. The waiter was friendly and perhaps a little over-familiar, but I didn't think anything of it, just assumed he was trying to be nice and/ or angling for a tip. However, when I asked for the bill, he brought it along with a pen and paper and asked for my number. I felt so awkward I couldn't get out of there quick enough and, although I tried to laugh it off, I'm still thinking about whether I should complain? On the one hand, am I overreacting because I'm very socially awkward, so others would be less bothered, or am I right in thinking it's inappropriate and I should say something, as it put a bit of a dampener on a pleasant evening?

Exactly.

Not everything has to be navigated online from behind the safety of a keyboard.

He asked at the end, so it isn't as though you had to sit through the discomfort.

Now that I probably would have lodged a complaint over. 😂

Actually I'd be more offended if he just gave me his number without the upfront brave face on it. It seems somehow creepier than just being upfront.

I agree OP, it's hugely inappropriate and he's there to work not hit on women. It also puts you on the spot and would make you feel uncomfortable. I'll bet it's not the first time he's pulled this trick either on a woman. He's also making presumptions that you're single, not a lesbian(that could have been your niece for all he knew) and he's not punching.
I know of restaurants where this is a disciplinary matter at the very least. I knew a guy years ago who worked in a restaurant who this wouldn't have been far out of character to pull such a stunt. He ended up getting fired for s*ual a*ault so to pick women up this way that waiter doesn't sound exactly like a catch himself.
But apparently according to modern dating standards women aren't allowed boundaries and should be grateful for any attention...!
I think 'shooting your shot' isn't appropriate unless you know someone more than just to speak to a few times or they knowingly flirted with you, but the thing is those who say they met their husband randomly 40 years ago like this, there are women who are no longer here who met men the same way....or as a previous poster said, reject their advances and get followed afterwards and/or verbally attacked after...but hey, we're all supposed to be flattered!!!???!!
Personally I'd have said very loudly "I'll bet I'm not the first women you've done that to today!" (Or be tempted to write 'you must be joking' )Then never go back there... the bar is lower than in hell, I'd say...🙄

👏👏👏👏👏👏
To those saying she shouldn't tell management else he gets fired, how's that HER fault exactly? Oh no because it can't be HIS fault HE acted like a creep..how about that?

How is asking someone for their number acting like a creep?

A man asking for a woman's number is only socially unacceptable in the bonkers world of Mumsnet, where most posters seem to be very lonely, very bitter about it, and want everybody else to be as lonely and bitter as they are.

In the real world, it's completely innocuous. If I were single I would much rather a man ask me out in person that be one of fifty women he happened to half-arsedly swipe right on that evening.

Good luck reporting him to the restaurant OP. They'll all have a good laugh at your expense and spit in your food next time you dine there.

Asking for someone's number in a respectful manner ISN'T anywhere near "acting like a creep" - it's a perfectly normal/natural approach used by BOTH sexes!

😂😂😂

This.

I swear mumnset is full of wetwipes and will never change. To feel it spoiled your evening and want to complain is ridiculous, really. Between you and the posters who tell their toddlers and young kids there's no santa. It Betty Downer central and I honestly wonder how you cope day to day.

He liked you accept it as a polite compliment. thanks or here's my number lets chat. pick ONE.

I've only just seen your comment /post & I'm sure there's numerous souls whom would just accept this as the compliment it is? Nowhere in your comment does it seem to have crossed your mind that this was a compliment & might've took some courage, for the waiter to have requested your number
If he said something inappropriate or suggestive, fair enough, it would be unacceptable
But merely asking for your number, right at the end, when you'd enjoyed your meal... Where's the harm you just need to inform someone you're already spoken for or something equally kind, to let them down easy🙏

Yes completely concur with you

Yes completely concur & also besides the restaurant might find it humorous, how cruel to make a complaint, over something that's just a mere compliment 💚

Yes it's complimentary not at all creepy
Poor man 😥💚

Jesus Christ such a depressing thread.
The unhinged narrative of Oh[ the poor man.
Berating women that they should be grateful for (any) male attention. Oh it’s niiiiiice that men notice women. So fucking brave that the waiter passed her his number unsolicited to a woman. Hell, yea, what a hero.

Because she was there having a meal, not speed dating ffs. Do you think he would’ve asked if she had been sat there with a male? A son instead of a daughter perhaps?

lol at this to my ' i would be flattered'

Complain to who about what? An adult asked you for your number, you refused, assuming he didn't pester you or become aggressive then there's nothing to report. Take it as a compliment that you've still 'got it!' & don't think anything more about it. Why did it spoil your evening so much?

What women are so unconfident and insecure that a man hitting on them when they go about their private business as anything but annoying?

Who doesn’t know you don’t behave like that in workplace?

I wouldn’t have bothered to complain but it’s an absolute no no, and he would have got in a lot of trouble if management had noticed. If he made a habit of it he would be sacked.

Right.

Yes, completely concur with & wonderful, points you make, which you would hope, would naturally, be common sense, to most folks 💚
Excellently stated🤗