Waiter Asked for my Number

[Turducken]

Out for dinner with grown up daughter, at a fairly fancy restaurant, just the two of us. The waiter was friendly and perhaps a little over-familiar, but I didn't think anything of it, just assumed he was trying to be nice and/ or angling for a tip. However, when I asked for the bill, he brought it along with a pen and paper and asked for my number. I felt so awkward I couldn't get out of there quick enough and, although I tried to laugh it off, I'm still thinking about whether I should complain? On the one hand, am I overreacting because I'm very socially awkward, so others would be less bothered, or am I right in thinking it's inappropriate and I should say something, as it put a bit of a dampener on a pleasant evening?

I think trust your gut OP 100% you left the interaction with a bad taste in your mouth - quite the opposite of what you went in for. From what you’ve written I’m deducing you’re totally right that he was up to something - perhaps a tally with his mates or to get a bigger tip seeing as he asked you while presenting you the bill, trying to flatter you into a grateful donation. It all also seems too odd to approach someone in front of their grown up daughter - something doesn’t sit right with this and I have heard of guys with bad intentions targeting the mother daughter duo when out and about. Perhaps they think the mums are lonely singleton prey (the guy I knew actively targetted single mums to mooch off, I saw right though and ran). Honestly I think you should complain and teach these guys a lesson. Whatever game he was playing it put a dampener on your otherwise cosy family evening out.

Id be flattered, it would have put a spring in my step!
was asked out by a waiter at work once, and I was too stuck up
to accept. I’ve always regretted it, as he was gorgeous.

🤣😂

Yes exactly. So many people complain about OLD yet why would any man ever ask a woman out IRL?
Work places used to be the most common place to find a partner but it's career ending nowadays for a man to ask anyone out at work!

I don't understand why you would complain. Did he grab your t*! when he asked for your number? He asks, you say no, its over. My DH would say no harm, no foul.

Totally inappropriate and unacceptable to any decent management but not something I could get worked up about.

Laugh about it. Move on

Women do not need to be chuffed flattered or happy that men give them attention and ask for the telephone number. She went out for a meal she didn’t anticipate that the waiter would ask her for her telephone number. Think it was inappropriate that he asked however I don’t think it warrants escalation to the manager as he didn’t press, he wasn’t aggressive or overbearing but I do think it was inappropriate that he asked.

I think he dodged a bullet here!!

Set your standards higher. Just because she was not sexually assaulted doesn’t mean she has no reason to feel aggrieved. Can women only feel aggrieved when grabbed by the tit? Is that your baseline for male bad behaviour , no tit grabbed, no harm done?

By the way,why is it relevant what your partner thinks?it detrimentally impacted upon op, so actually yes ,foul

Agreed.

I think it was unprofessional and it’s a bit creepy to try it on like that - he may be trying his luck with multiple women. If I was his boss I’d want to know so I could tell him not to do this at work.

😂 😂 😂 😂

Just take the compliment & move on. No harm done. Don’t get him in trouble at work over it

If he literally said 'Can I have your number?' and you said 'Um, no,' and he went away, there's nothing much to complain about. If he hassled you, that would be different. Rather than complaining, you might leave an honest review about the venue and the food, and add 'I would have preferred the waiter not to ask me for my phone number when I paid, but it was a good evening out.' Then the management can take it up with him if they want to.

PS At uni this bloke at the local petrol station asked me on a date. I agreed because I felt bad saying no. A couple of years later, I met another girl at uni who had done the same even though neither of us fancied him. We thought it was very funny when we realized that he probably tried his luck with every single female customer! Here we were, feeling bad for him and he was just out there, playing a numbers game!

you definitely shouldn’t complain. Nothing to complain about and what would you gain from it?? Just don’t go back there if you can’t handle a man being attracted to you?

Jesus wept,this thread
So far op been told she should be flattered,chuffed,grateful he didn’t grab her tit, and it’s not like he flopped his dick onto her plate.
oh and it’s hard for men(boo fuckin hoo) to meet women. So be kind.

This is the whole be kind,be nice ,societal burden women are expected to carry
be flattered a man showed you attention
be kind because it’s hard for men to meet women. OLD has made things so tricky for men
be grateful he didn’t sexually assault you, no tits were grabbed

Sending the you as a female , your feeling don’t matter message, oh and be kind to men. The eternal submit and acquiesce to men message delivered by women (of all people)

Omg I fear for my son growing up to be treated the way you want to treat this man who was just being brave, goodness gracious. You were probably being nice back to him (good for you!) and he thought, "why not try my luck!" He didn't harras you and you want to put in a complaint to his boss...bore off

I don't see why you want to endanger his livelihood over this?

You have his number. Call him and tell him to fuck off and why if it bothers you.

You don't have to think his behaviour was appropriate, but you do need to not try to triangulate communication with people who annoy you.

"a faint heart never won fair lady," which means that a person must be bold and courageous to achieve their goals, especially in matters of love. It suggests that timidity and lack of confidence will prevent someone from winning the affection of the person they desire. The saying can also be applied more broadly to any situation where taking risks is necessary for success.

Thanks AI.

“Don’t shit on your own doorstep” means don’t try it on duty at work with a customer.

Might be a scammer… he has your credit card number, might need your phone number as a type of verification. If he wanted your attention he could have given you “his” number. Sorry.

If he used a proper card reader, he doesn't have her full card number. There's no way of a card reader user getting that information. It's not like the old days of swiping a credit card with carbonated paper! All the confidential data is encrypted between the card being swiped and the merchant bankers processing the card.

Im on holiday in spain alone. I just went down to the bar to order a glass of wine and sit in the restaurant.

When i was at the bar i made small chat with the barman. I said "its a nice hotel".

The barman then asked me what bedroom i was in!

Thats weird right?

I said "im upstairs". He said "i know you are upstairs but which room?

I said "why". He said "oh eh because the different rooms have different views".

Its weird for a barman to ask that right? I felt uncomfortable after that.

I then questioned the conversation After i left. Was he just asking about my view? But surely you'd he would ask me are you staying at the front or back of the hotel If he wanted to know how my view waa
There is no need to know my room number.

To clarify, there is no room service in the hotel so he definitely didnt think that he was bringing wine to my room.

It was weird!