She’s as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside” is that ok?

[CandleMug]

It’s my DD’s 18th Birthday tomorrow and we have parties planned etc but of course social media being so big I will acknowledge her bday on my SM platform.

I was planning on putting the title on my post tomorrow but wanted to get your opinions first. Is that ok? She is stunning and beautiful btw, though I’d put her main attributes first, funny, loveable, beautiful personality etc…

How can it be called performance parenting when no one knows who you are?
Emotional incontinence tends to lose its impact when anonymous.

Haha this! 👏 Anonymous bragging is perfectly valid in here, but in real life it’s a no no! 😳🤣

There’s no need to find a balance - just step away from it. You will most likely feel better for it and will definitely won’t have the expectations to do things in a certain way for birthdays, Christmas etc

That really makes no sense! What is the point of anonymous bragging?? You are not suddenly going to feel smug and superior or more respected because you boasted about something that is not true to people who don’t know you and who won’t remember what your username is.

What pressure? Are they going to you..."so what message will you be putting up??" or "God, I can't believe Janet didn't mention either of her kids birthdays this year, what a cow."

The pressure is imaginary and all from you...

I think I have the right balance as I’m not a regular poster but I acknowledge some things. SM has it negatives for sure but it also has it’s positives so I like to keep my hand in, though it’s not 24/7

Say all those things to her face, not to the social media audience.

I’m not responsible for what Folk post about their high value family I just read with a sense of mirth.
I do use socials to post about my kids to family etc I don’t go full Amanda Holden but I’ve been known to gush about my kids
Socials allows me to curate a catalogue life for external gaze, A curated world where it all looks effortless
Also, Granny will ask me to pop baby picture on FB so she can see them
We do Face-time with the kids too

Yup. I'll just hang my head in shame and toddle off to hand back my English Literature degree certificate to my Almer Mater first thing tomorrow. 😃

Hope your daughter has a lovely birthday anyway!

You've spent hours pondering over one birthday message for SM. This is madness...

Imagine it's your daughter doing this... and fretting about the wording she should put for a boyfriend on his birthday, and she came to you saying she felt so pressured and wasn't sure what to say and she'd been online and asking people for advice/feedback on her message....

What would you say to her?

This is quite odd.
You want to curate your life so it all looks effortless? Why? For whom?

I get that Granny wants to see baby pictures.

Ahh of course it’s performative and most likely exaggerated. In fact the anonymity adds to the performative proclamations . I mean a chicken lasts 4 day makes 17 meals and feeds a family of five inc the county champion sprinters

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’d post your message tbh. or say something like beautiful inside and outside.

Hell yea. I curate a glossy family vibe online. No one really wants to see me after a 13hr work day. I curate and select the glassy eyed big hair out doorsy photos (and that’s just my man). We are the Ryan and Blake of the post code. All hair and teeth

😀 Actually if any of my friends looked like Ryan and Blake, I might want to look at their feeds. Sadly we are all middle aged and flabby.

But you just have to scroll through any potential threads on here that could be considered ‘boasting’ and the poster gets gets shot down with a virtual machines guns and put right back in their place.

Watch this…

Not only is my daughter is beautiful and stunning - I say ‘is’ because I get told it so often even by people I barely know. There is no need for them to tell me or her, but they like to share it with us both. So it’s it’ll not my opinion, it’s most peoples. She like a cross between Margot Robbie, Miranda Kerr, Gigi Hadid and Mila Kunis.

She’s also got a high IQ and was predicted A*’s in her exams and scored the highest in her CAT/similar score out of 300 students with 129 score.

None of that is my opinion, except who she resembles, but the rest is fact. As you say, why say it on an anonymous forum? It’s either true or I’m a liar but I agree with you, why would someone lie?

My point is, I will get backs up now being honest as they will gate this post and will jump all over it because some people don’t like the thought of other people having an advantage. Wait for the replies ‘putting me in my place’ for daring to be honest…

Me too 😂 I know what it means and take it as meant, but it always gives me a mental picture of pristine, healthy, organs - all red and gloopy!

I mean I posted last night and relied to a few posters then didn’t come back for about 24 hours so the last hour or so I’ve been on here replying… it’s not that deep I agree!

OP, my darling daughter recently turned 18, I really wouldn't dream of doing this.
I don't do SM, and have encouraged my children to keep their lives private.
We had a party at home, I wrote her a heartfelt card, as did her father.
I think public postings are naff and performative.

In summary
Your cards are heartfelt (twice) and their physicality & sentiment is profound
And Anything on social media or public forum is naff and performative. For the vulgar hoi polloi
Good to know. Thanks for that,Mrs Middleton

Sorry but mega cringe! When I see posts like this I do wonder at the necessity to overshow love for others to see for adoring affirmation. Keep it simple, you can actually tell her or write in her card. Xx

Write whatever you think your daughter would want to read.

Put what you like op. It comes from your heart and that's all that matters.

You absolute trendsetter 🤣

First off what is your daughter virw
on Facebook posts - my 16 year olds view is that I have spent years explaining to her how social media works and what you should and shouldn’t put on it that she doesn’t want to be on mine with it going to people she has never met and on a platform she never uses

secondly mine is also very beautiful and bright but that isn’t what she is to me, she is the one I love unconditionally so those attributes don’t matter the one whom I will always protect and be proud off no matter what happens or what she does

there are many other attributes (some good some bad) that define her far more than her looks and intelligence