She’s as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside” is that ok?

[CandleMug]

It’s my DD’s 18th Birthday tomorrow and we have parties planned etc but of course social media being so big I will acknowledge her bday on my SM platform.

I was planning on putting the title on my post tomorrow but wanted to get your opinions first. Is that ok? She is stunning and beautiful btw, though I’d put her main attributes first, funny, loveable, beautiful personality etc…

I think the slightly shorter ‘beautiful inside and out’ sounds a bit better as part of a longer list of attributes. I get the not focusing on looks thing but I think it can swing too far the other way if your own mother can’t even tell you you’re beautiful!
I’m not a big Facebook user but think it’s absolutely fine to write a post like this - 18 is a big milestone.If you can’t get a bit sentimental as your child becomes an adult then when can you?! It also doesn’t stop OP from writing a card or letter too.

Why put anything on SM? I thought younger people were pulling back on putting their lives on SM - I know my teens and their friends have wised-up and don’t want their photos or identifiers on any platforms.
So yes, agree with PPs - it is very cringe and performative.

I believe sentimentality and tenderness should be saved for the person, in person. Not displayed on SM for clicks..
What a narcissistic world.

Everyone uses this phrase, so it's become a bit meaningless, it's as if people can't be bothered to list the attributes that the person genuinely has .

Seems like the priority here is to do something you feel needs doing publicly, and get it right rather than say something you'd genuinely want to say to her (which you can do privately) so personally I'd have a look at what other parents in her friend circle say and go with a similar tone. Because what's 'right' rather than 'cringe' varies from group to group.

Beautiful inside and out is such a cliche that it's lost any meaning. I would say how you proud you are of her for her achievements and kindness. Presumably you will post photos, so don't need to say anything about her looks at all.

That phrase always makes me cringe. I imagine some kind of surgical procedure.

Shocking!!!

It’s her 18 th birthday. A really special day. She doesn’t need compliments.

I would say something like Happy 18th Birthday to my amazing brilliant clever daughter! I could not be more proud of you ❤️

it’s fine to be a bit soppy!

I’d cringe if my mum wrote that when I was 18. I wasn’t brought up with SM though (thankfully) so what do I know 🤷‍♀️

Stop going on about how stunning she is. You've put 2 posts about her being stunning. Whoop de whoo.
It means nothing.
Why are you wanting to make a declaration on SM about her beauty?
You sound so boastful and like you're showing her off to everyone.
"LOOK EVERYONE ON SM! MY DD IS NOT ONLY VISIBLY BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT, SHE'S ALSO BEAUTIFUL AS A PERSON TOO! ISN'T SHE AMAAAAAAZING! AREN'T I AMAAAAZING TOO!!!"
Man alive.
So showy.
Just say it to her 1-1 in a private moment. Write it in a personal card for only her to read.
Don't teach your DD about living life through the lens of SM and don't teach her about celebrating girls for being beautiful on SM.
Teach her about privacy. Teach her about the joy of personal moments together. Teach her about real moments in real life having so much more meaning than SM.
Teach her about the fakeness of SM and the vanity of it all.
So many wrong messages you're sending her on so many levels here.
Bad parenting.

OP, it's fine, it's an absolutely standard thing to say and in the real world noone will bat an eyelid. I have seen countless moms put this and other similar things for their kids' birthdays.

There is absolutely nothing "cringe" about it - in fact it's such a standard thing to say about your child that I doubt anyone will particularly even register the words.

I'm really surprised you needed MN to validate this message - sure if you spend any time at all on SM you must realise it's a really standard thing to do/say.

Also surprised you thought MN was a good place to ask about SM, where everyone pretends it's a bit tacky and that they are slightly above it (which is ironic in the extreme, when you think about what MN actually is - not a form os SM as such but certainly not a million miles away from one).

And especially that you asked in AIBU, which people think gives them a license to attempt to hurt and humiliated you, however innocous your query. ....

This trend of writing the most unique message bigging up a child on their birthday is so painfully embarrassing. The child doesn't care what their mum puts on social media. The poster's friends don't care. Nobody cares.
If you didn't post a message, no one would notice, and if they did then you need to get more of a life off social media.

It sounds perfect and from the heart. It’s what I would put about mine. You can still be lefty, woke, considerate, feminist and post a gushing braggy post about your daughter on her 18th, I would be too and I do every year. No criticism here op, make it as gushing as your love for her. Everyone deserves their parents praise in all areas xxx

What is the obsession with social fucking media by anyone over 17???

Supercilious and obnoxious. Many congrats

We're fucking cooked as a species if this is the kind of thing tearing people apart. It's social media, NO ONE CARES. Beyond your close family and maybe some particularly nice friends, nobody gives a shit about your daughter's birthday nor your post.

It doesn't really matter what you write, it's not a message for your daughter who you'll presumably see the morning she gets up and will wish her happy birthday in person. The message is just performative nonsense for your SM followers who in the main don't care and if they do will already know the special day and will have wished your daughter HB privately 🤷‍♀️

I’d put something along the lines of “18 years of lighting up the world with your presence” and “keep shining/being your wonderful self”. Mind you, I never post about birthdays on SM but if I did it would probably be that

At least if it’s on FB you can guarantee that none of her friends will see it.

Yes - when DD was little I was always afraid of complimenting her looks instead of her attributes and achievements but at one point I realised that it's pretty sad if your mum never calls you beautiful.

OP the message is fine.

What? This is even worse!
People!!! Go back to communicating in person! Try it! It's really nice!!!!

Oh God of course it's alright to call your child beautiful.
But tell them in person!
Not on SM!!! It's so vacuous and vain and narcissistic!

@RedLettersWin good morning to you too!🤗