If you worked 3 days but earned more than DH, would you do housework on your days off?

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Just that really. Our situation is much more complicated, but in a nutshell I work 3 days a week, school hours & term time only, but still earn slightly more than DH who works full time. I'd say we share most housework roughly equally at the weekends and evenings, I do more cooking as he gets home late but he cleans the kitchen. I do more childcare but he does school runs.

My question is whether he should be peeved if I spend my two days off a week watching Netflix/getting a haircut/meeting friends, rather than cleaning the bathroom (as I just started to, which prompted this thread). Personally I feel like since we earn equally, I should do what I like on my days off and not feel guilty about it. Actually I feel like it's kudos to me for being in this situation 🤷‍♀️

DH hasn't actually expressed anything on the matter (yet).

I will still clean the bathroom, because it needs it, but I don't plan to feel bad about watching the traitors afterwards.

The person with the most free time surely dies the bulk of the housework. Or if you earn more pay for a cleaner..

Yes, but is she also expected to do all the meals on her days off?

I earn less than my husband and work less hours and wfh I get as many jobs as I can done in the weeks thus freeing us both up for some downtime or going out at the weekend I can't think why you wouldn't get the jobs done tbh

Why would being married have any impact on household duties?

I’ve been married, and I didn’t get paid for doing the washing.

I know it’s not his fault- maybe I should’ve added in my post that he is more than happy to do all of this, I’ve never asked him too, it’s just happened naturally and he has no resentment.
Also the stuff about us not being married…it’s really not that deep!

I think there has to be a compromise, you have more time so you do some stuff that needs doing but you also have some time for yourself too.

I guess it depends what your job is?!….
If it’s an extremely stressful job then 2 days to decompress, meditate or whatever is justified. But if it’s a normal day job then I think it’s unreasonable to think that just because you earn more you can do less. If you’re both having to clean at weekends then when does he get to have a cuppa with friends or just chill in front of the TV

I used to work part time 3.5 days on my full day off I used to clean in the morning and do the other stuff in afternoon, set yourself certain jobs, e.g put a wash on, clean bathroom / kitchen , then you will be free from after 11.00am if you start as soon as they leave, one afternoon meet friends then one watching mindless telly. At least you won't feel guilty or you could work an extra day and pay a cleaner.🙄

Ignore £££ and look at time.

also look at what “jobs” you both do. Women typically do more of the “hidden” load. So when you and he make a list of all the things you
both do make sure to include those jobs. Planning menus and planning the food shopping. Doing the food shopping.
School shoes. School uniform. Next size up in kids clothes.
Planning logistics for school holidays.

arranging home and car insurance. MOTs. Bin day. Weeding. Cleaning the driveway.
etc

if you both contribute equally on visible and invisible jobs then you do need to ask yourself….. do you really want him cleaning during your family time together just so you can spend 16 hours watching TV on your own?

of course no one should expect you to spend all your non working days cleaning and parenting but it would be fair if you did more of the domestic ops and admin than him as on the face of it you have more “down” time.

or. You get another paid job on those 2 days and pay for a cleaner.

I kind of think you should because if you do, it will give you both a nicer family weekend. Although I understand that you might not be jumping up and down with excitement about it!
Could you perhaps afford a cleaner every second week or once a month?

Earning power doesn't determine you do less household chores. Why don't you work full time if you just watch Netflix when you're off? Most part time working parents do part time so they can do more for the children and facilitate smooth running of family life, not sit down when they've equaled their partners wage.

If it works for you.

I absolutely would not stand for this in my marriage. Our rule is equal amounts *of free time and equal disposable income. We think we are worth each other on balance . One is better at making money, one at being calm in emergency, the one at being reliable, the other at driving long distances.

I would find it mad, absolutely mad, to separate earning capacity from all the other strengths and qualities one bring to a marriage and have one partner lounge about for two extra days.

(I out-earn him by a lot so not arguing for my own benefit here.)

I think a marriage should be a partnership with shared money and equal free time. I doubt his job is any easier than yours.

No, but you had shared assets. Housewifery can also be acknowledged in divorce settlements.

Yes, I would do housework but I wouldn't feel guilty about a couple of hours with my feet up in front of the telly!

Yes, he's happy now, but what about if you split up and he realises that he could have done something else with that time?

I don’t think being the breadwinner/higher earner entitles either partner to extra child free time off while the other works or does childcare. I was in a similar situation to yours and we operated under the concept that we both work hard 😓 so we should get equal child free time off to do whatever we wanted to do.

I work 45 hours ish a week. DH works 12.

He is, however, a high earner so only earns about 10% less than me for his minimal hours.

He does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, 2/3 of dog walking, about 75% of the life and house admin.

Frankly he’d be out on his arse if he thought he could sit on his backside relaxing all day whilst I worked 4 times the hours he did and then I still had to do the housework too. He still gets far more leisure time than I do!

Perhaps I see it differently as I’ve been on both sides - when I was part time and earning less I did almost all of the childcare and house stuff and he did next to nothing as he worked so many hours. It’s nice to be on the other side now the kids are older 😂

My work pattern is similar to yours OP & I work from home. My DH works full time plus some evenings. He earns more than me.
I do all school runs as he is gone before we get up and home well after us. I am at home with 2 weekdays free (tho I do sometimes have to work minimal overtime) so I do most of the housework, cooking, childcare & shopping. DH generally does the dishwasher / kitchen after dinner, gardening / cleaning vehicles, DIY and, when home, cooking & DD bedtime.
He recently employed a cleaner to do the bathrooms every fortnight so I’m not constantly tied to doing them on my days off, which has been amazing.
If I were in your situation and earning more I would pay for a cleaner to come and do the majority quite honestly.
DH is always telling me to chill on my days off, which I definitely make time for. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I generally clean for a couple of hours on one day off and do little bits throughout the week. I relax better knowing it’s done, but we don’t live in a show home standard and I definitely don’t spend all my free time cleaning. Nor would my DH want me to.

Sorry not following what you are saying. I read it as "Why should I be penalised for working normal hours, if the other person in a relationship also works normal hours?" In which case, you shouldn't be? But don't see what that has to do with the OP?

Who? The OP? Why are you asking me? All I commented was things I do that make my life easier. One being the bathroom, which OP mentioned she was dreading doing hers and one being the robovac that was a game changer for me.

I agree with @FairyRobot

Ah yes, sorry, it was supposed to read 'if the other person.. work longer hours'.

Income is irrelevant. you should have equal amounts of leisure time.

The exception would be if one of you simply refused to work or contribute at all. As long as you are both dedicated to the partnership, money shouldn’t matter.

I don't think money is relevant- how many hours of combined out-of-house work and housework you're each putting in each week is the only relevant consideration.