If you worked 3 days but earned more than DH, would you do housework on your days off?

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Just that really. Our situation is much more complicated, but in a nutshell I work 3 days a week, school hours & term time only, but still earn slightly more than DH who works full time. I'd say we share most housework roughly equally at the weekends and evenings, I do more cooking as he gets home late but he cleans the kitchen. I do more childcare but he does school runs.

My question is whether he should be peeved if I spend my two days off a week watching Netflix/getting a haircut/meeting friends, rather than cleaning the bathroom (as I just started to, which prompted this thread). Personally I feel like since we earn equally, I should do what I like on my days off and not feel guilty about it. Actually I feel like it's kudos to me for being in this situation 🤷‍♀️

DH hasn't actually expressed anything on the matter (yet).

I will still clean the bathroom, because it needs it, but I don't plan to feel bad about watching the traitors afterwards.

To be honest OP, this seems to be the more important issue. This must really eat away at you and maybe this is something you need to have out with your other half.

I think it was easy to judge with the information you originally gave, but it's more complicated than that. Personally my first thought was that I would want to do the housework in the week, so we could have more time to do things as a family at the weekend, but I can see it's not as simple as that. You said you have an SEN child and they are not always at school. I totally understand why when they are in school, you might need some time to yourself. It's a difficult situation, I hope you work it out.

No, I wouldn't do that. I don't work part time, but I work normal hours. Why should I be penalised for that if the other one works normal hours? Particularly if not married or totally blended finances.

This.
I think you're being a right arsehole.

So when you're on maternity struggling to look after a small baby (or maybe two) your DH can do nothing to help because he earns all the money?

Marriage is a partnership, you should both contribute as much as you can, when you can, in the expectation of being supported by your partner in the times when you contribute less

I should think the person who works shorter hours would do a bit more housework and in particular do anything that is easier during the day, like shopping when it's quieter, or hanging out washing. But they shouldn't spend all their free time on it.
Not sure what income has to do with it.

Yes I would absolutely do housework, you only need a few hours, why would you not?

I suppose the income argument is that generally the full time worker would be subsidising the part time one, but that's not the case here.

In many partnerships one person earns more than the other, but how household chores are divided depends on other things. The idea that the person who works full time has to do all the household tasks as well sounds very unfair.

The money is always relevant though. If one person loses their job they end up having to do all the housework because the other one is supporting them, not just because they have the time.

It's not about the money earnt,it's about the time.. If a man said it about having that situation,people would think he was sexist,and chauvinistic. .i dont think you are being very fair.Resentments build up easily,be careful!

When i first read your post i thought of course you should be doing the housework on your days off. Then you mentioned you had children or one child with SEN. I completely changed my views. I work with SEN children and know how challenging it can be. You need a lot of me time relaxing or meeting friends. You most definitely deserve that and your husband should help you at the weekend.

I agree that earnings are irrelevant and it’s about the time.
My boyfriend and I earn similar amounts but he WFH 9-4.45 and I work in a school with a bit of a commute and I’m out the house from 7.30-5.30 every day.
So he has 2hrs15mins more time at home than I do every day. So it makes sense for him to do more around the house. He does all the laundry, all the meal prep and will run around with the hoover etc, empty the dishwasher. All whilst I’m still at work. It just makes sense and feels fairer. And what we earn is irrelevant.

If he gets a raise, will you do more housework?

I'm not following your drift, I'm afraid. My partner has always earned more than me but never suggested I should do more housework to compensate him for this. Af the point when he retired and I worked part time we still shared the housework equally.

In those circumstances, I’d probably do the cleaning because I would rather he spent all his spare time with the children. I could still have a whole day off.

"My partner has always earned more than me but never suggested I should do more housework to compensate him for this"

Because you presumably don't work fewer hours, but if you did, he might! And it wouldn't just be about the time.

But it's not his fault that you can't work from home.
Also you're not married so his giving up his time to do housework for you will never be recompensed if you split up.

I agree with this tbh. Xo

This ^

Wow I’d be pretty cheesed off if I were your husband! If money isn’t a problem get a cleaner

If he's working 5 days, he's tired tho.
Why not take 1 day to yourself?
And make up for it on the other day
I think having 2 happy and content parents is better regardless who pays more

If my DH sat on his ass and didn’t help out around the house then no I wouldn’t waste my days off doing it for him..but in this situation I would clean on my days off if it needed doing as he’s willing and does when he’s not at work!

Sorry - do house work “for you”?

Men don’t do housework for us. They do housework because they live there and it’s their responsibility too.

My partner is not doing me a favour by hoovering. They are also his carpets, and hoovering is not my individual purpose in life.

I can get a lot done in an hour, listening to a podcast or music in my wireless headphones. So I know in your position I probably wouldn't spend all day cleaning but would go from room to room sorting my home out and listening to something in the mornings, and then spend the rest of my time doing whatever else.
The money wouldn't really come into it for me.

Read all OP’s responses but no one else’s. I work 2 days a week, meet friends, go out, do most of the housework, sit on my arse and watch binge Netflix if I want to. TBH I never really know how people fill their days cleaning the house, maybe my standards are really low🤣! The biggest game changer and the thing that really made my house seem less of a shit hole, was the robovac (eufy) which makes my hard floors and carpets look fantastic- I run him most days and I certainly didn’t hoover everyday before or if I’m honest, I didn’t hoover every week. Best £100 I’ve ever spent, worth every penny. His limitation is that he doesn’t do stairs. I clean bathrooms when I’m going for a shower, so I get clean whilst I clean the bath and shower screen, do the sink, window ledge and toilet whilst wrapped in a towel drying and mop the floor later, I find this easier and less time consuming because I also hate cleaning the bathroom.

Nothing to do with being a man. It would be the same for a woman. It's not just cleaning up after herself, it's cleaning up after both of them so doing the housework FOR the partner (partly). She would have less housework if she lived alone. That's why I think it's wrong if they're not married.