Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

[AutumnSquashSoup]

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

The only way is to get rid OP. But then I think you know that. It’s feral behaviour from the kid and blaming you for it is a cop out because he doesn’t want to parent his son. It’s not going to get any better. Ditch them both.

Your partner is being an arse and bollocks that's how boys are I have 5DC,3DS and 1 of my sons are autistic and none of them have ever behaved in that way.

Your stepson sounds like he's behaving just like his father,that's why he won't deal with his sons behaviour because it's the same as his own.

Why on earth would you want to share your life with someone like this?

He’s dangerously underdeveloped as a human being.

Your kids will start to copy your Step son soon - they will disrespect you. So you can’t stay, frankly.

This is very good advice

• X-box gone
• TV for the younger ones
• SS involved by Mum rather than a report from nursery or school

Yes, you're probably right but even people who have been deliberately separated from friends and family will still have some contacts. The OP may well be surprised at how welcome she may be made to feel if she asks an old friend for a room for her and baby for a week or so. Friends who have pretty much had to step away from a situation may well be over the moon to be able to help her make this positive step.

Oh wow you need to leave. Your partner (or SS) don’t deserve you. Leave with your babies and don’t look back. He wont change and is raising your SS to be the same.

This 100%. This is not an OK way for them to treat either you or your home OP.

OP you’re in an abusive relationship if you are walking on egg shells like this and if violence is blamed on the victim for causing it. Please don’t let your kids stay in this environment.

This.

Why are you the one doing ANYTHING for this little shit with even shittier parents? My own stepdad used to have his custody time with my stepbrother and leave him with mum to watch the whole weekend while he worked or went golfing etc.
my mum had to cook, clean and care for him whilst his actual parent fucked off doing other things.

draw a clear line. Parenting time must be done by the actual parent. If daddy dearest isn’t there then the kid isn’t either. Personally I’d get a small tv for my kids and lock it away every time the tv smasher is there. Let him and his dad enjoy the broken one.

Are you now shackled to this man now with a baby?

If my son did this he would be paying for the new telly. Imagine blaming you for this, he is disgraceful!! I know it's not simple just to break up the family but this is no example for your younger children. Don't keep contacting him, if there is anyone you can stay with for a few days then go.

Stop texting him!
Noone on here can actually help you if you don’t help yourself. Perhaps reach out to women’s aid and ask for their advice?
Now that you know what they are both capable of the ball is in your court. What are you going to do? Make a decision and stick with it.
‘ But I lurveeeeee him’ is not a valid excuse to raise two children in this environment. Neither is ‘I don’t want to be alone’. Woman up !

I see that you are. Nothing to advise cept to offer my condolences.

My son got frustrated and hit his tv screen with his controller. Cracked screen; ruined tv. DH went ballistic. DS was banned from his devices for 2 (very long) months. Possibly too far on the other extreme, but he’ll never do that again.

so you have got an abusive partner and an abusive stepson? Honestly what do either of them bring to you life or to the lives of your kids?

When he had calmed down you need a further conversation. He has 3 kids, I assume? He has to speak to his eldest and the behaviour has to stop. He has to replace the tv he can’t have the other kids penalised because his oldest can’t behave

personally I would be telling him the oldest does not visit unless he is there to control him

Get rid of them both.

I wouldn't get another tv, if he breaking them...he might play his Xbox somewhere else. Young ones can watch cartoons on a laptop in the meantime.

Who owns the house or is it rented? Honestly I’d tell him never to come back.

Get rid of the pair of them, you don't need them.

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

this alone is a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship

If you are incapable of parenting his child; tell him he can bloody well do it himself; of your DP is not there then his child cannot be either, as you can't be trusted.

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