To think this mother is selfish and a bit of a knobhead?

[CarrotCrusader]

A woman got on the bus this morning with a few kids. The youngest in a buggy had a toy with buttons that made sound effects. It was loud. This child did not stop pressing these buttons. I looked at the mother as if to say wtf but it didn't work. Aibu to think what is wrong with people? I wouldn't dream of letting my kid in an inside public space with such a toy.

100% its not comparable

Your thing isn't a thing

It's a bus, not a library. Put on some headphones if you don't want to hear noises on the bus

If that’s the worst thing you have encountered on a daily commute you should probably be thankful. Seriously though it’s a baby in a buggy with a toy put your headphones if it bothers you.

I've managed to travel on public transport with young kids many times without using really annoying noisy toys to entertain, it is possible

It's a bus not a bloody library! How do you possibly cope if a group of school kids get on the bus?

Funnily enough everyone without children are entitled to a child free life not a child free world. OP could learn to drive and then wouldn’t have to share transport with children.. should stay in doors if she doesn’t want to encounter children.

If you'd actually used your words, instead of attempting telepathy, you might have discovered WHY her child needed the toy. On the one hand, she might just be a regular child playing with a noisy toy, on the other she may have been autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, and that toy was the only thing that calms her. No one knows the answer unless they actually say something. POLITELY!

OP never said she had an issue with any of the other kids.

This, and if she can’t cope with “several kids” without pissing everyone else off then perhaps she should learn what causes the kids and stop doing it.

I think calling someone an idiot is more of a violation than a noisy toy.

If noises bother you OP then maybe you should wear some ear defenders.

Interestingly we were on a gorgeous expensive steam train on holiday in Scotland enjoying the views and the steam .
A family behind us had two young children with their iPad played pepper pig etc all the way through the trip plus other noisy iPad games.
I had a few wee drams to help me block it out . But why?
surely a book on an attached lanyard was enough for us. Or a blanket to suck.

When you're on public transport you just have to suck it up.(If you can't, get a car.) People talk, listen to music, make disgusting noises, etc. Children? They're expected to sit quietly, while bored to tears. Cut them some slack. If the child is in a buggy it's still very young, & they're not interested in anything but playing, & making noise. Mum is trying to keep it entertained, to stop it screaming, or climbing out of its buggy, etc, To avoid boredom & disruptive actions she gives it a toy. That's life. 🙂
We all have to give & take. The child is stuck in the buggy, & you get the constant noise. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nobody wins.

When you're on public transport you just have to suck it up.(If you can't, get a car.)

Or the woman who can’t control her offspring for long enough to behave on a bus journey could get a car and stop bothering everyone else.

Children sometimes do things that annoy adults like play with said toy but to expect a mother to stop their child doing something that’s keeping them entertained and busy is just wrong. She should get a driving license if she don’t want to be annoyed

I would imagine that the sound effects of a child's toy is more pleasant to listen to than the crying/screaming from the child if her mum takes the toy off her.

There is no foolproof way of keeping children quiet on buses. I object far more to the loud phone calls that people make on loud speaker for the whole bus journey.

It's unrealistic to expect a child to sit in silence. Toy much better than a screen in my opinion. No wonder the birth rate is dropping. The hardest bit of having a child is the unrealistic expectations of strangers. Pubs and cafes are more dog friendly than they are child friendly!

Grown adults listening to music or talking on speaker phone or watching videos with no headphones is irritating I agree with that however I don’t think you can compare that to a child being entertained with a toy. Take the toy away from a young baby/child in a buggy what do you think is going to happen?… they are going to scream or cry. Surely that would be far worse to listen to for the bus journey?

You don't get carte blanche to annoy the rest of society just because you have children. What about other people on the bus who are tired, ill, feeling anxious, are autistic, etc., for whom the last thing they need is an irritating repetitive noise? The woman could have picked up a different toy for her child.

Probably because dogs don’t spend hours screaming if they don’t have their iPad and ruin every else’s dinner.

Would probably annoy the fuck out me but I wouldn't say anything. I'd just put it down to a crap journey. It happens.

I didn't get the impression that the mum couldn't control her kids?

I’ve been a parent other bus scrambling around trying to pacify my screaming toddler.

‘Ooh look at that tree’ doesn’t always cut it. Trying to sing nursery rhymes, tickling etc.

Everyone thinks they’re the perfect parent until they have to deal with a more challenging child.

And a child using a toy (not an iPad on full blast, but a children’s toy sold in toy shops) is not an indication that the child is badly behaved or that the mother did anything wrong.

This. Why does it need to be a noisy toy? If you can’t keep your children quiet without making a load more noise then perhaps being out in public with them is not for you.

I find this conversation really interesting. This is MUMSNET isn't it?

I'm newly grandmother. And have not had babies myself (children were adopted as toddlers+) but I am surprised how many people think you can control crying, tantrums and generally any child behaviour. I think people can try but someone might have (unfortunately) a devil child ( or bored, or autistic, with ADHD etc).

My daughter gets dirty looks when our beautiful grandchild cries for a bit. Really?

Headphones.