To think this mother is selfish and a bit of a knobhead?

[CarrotCrusader]

A woman got on the bus this morning with a few kids. The youngest in a buggy had a toy with buttons that made sound effects. It was loud. This child did not stop pressing these buttons. I looked at the mother as if to say wtf but it didn't work. Aibu to think what is wrong with people? I wouldn't dream of letting my kid in an inside public space with such a toy.

Although, the poster on here recently who took her children to an adult spa and couldn't understand why the staff said it wasn't appropriate, or that to not have headphones in an ipad for her children (as they would talk loudly otherwise) was a knob head move, would suggest that our manners towards others isn't great!

I try to take the view that most people either don't mean to annoy others or feel that they can't do anything different in the moment. I might try to move seats or wait for the next bus / train if possible, but otherwise I think being tolerant is an underrated attribute these days. A situation like this is a minor blip in the scheme of things.

I think your being harsh. You don’t know what is happening in other peoples lives. The only thing you can control is your reaction. I wouldn’t let it bother you

Yes it’s rude but you should have said something at the time. I have absolutely no problem asking people on public transport to use headphones. Time to call out rudeness.

You’re very fortunate you wouldn’t notice this. Noises like this cause me actual emotional stress. People are allowed to chat and laugh and babies can cry but other people’s music, TikTok videos and noisy kid’s toys don’t belong in public spaces.

I find alot of the talking very annoying! When it’s in incredibly loud voices, it’s often the most annoying. Ordinary talking obviously fine - but it’s those (usually) male voices totally unmodulated, often with suddenly barks of laughter or exclamation. Maybe that doesn’t happen near you.

I agree the other things also annoying.

Im not saying the child’s toy isn’t annoying, it just wouldn’t stand out to me over and above all the other noises as the worst one/ the one to be particularly judged.

The OP or another poster?

Don't be soft and "give people a look". Use actual words.

Personally I think intolerant, judgemental people are the selfish arseholes. This isn’t about an entitled nt adult selfishly playing music out loud. The op has made a thinly veiled sneer at a stressed mother who’s doing what she can to stop her child screaming. The op has no idea of the circumstances and how many children she has is completely irrelevant. I know who I think is the rude horrible one and it’s certainly not the poor mother.

For everyone saying there was no choice.. there are SO many toys that are quieter. I wouldn't want to be faced with that on a bus first thing in the morning either!

You could try hypnotherapy?

God I’d never have been remotely bothered by this, long long before I had children of my own. A child playing with their toy? What would be better, upset the child and make them cry? Not because they’re a brat but because if they’re small enough to be in a pushchair they’re small enough to not understand why grown adults would be angry about them playing with their toys. I would have had massive sympathy for the mother, how stressful it must be to lug around a few children on a bus at the best of times, let alone when they’re being judged for letting one of their children play with a toy

Why is it selfish for her to prioritise the child's comfort over you and not selfish of you to prioritise your own comfort over the child's. Why are you more important than that family?

We live in a world with other people, sometimes they can be annoying. We don't have the right never to be annoyed unfortunately. Let the babies play and practice patience and understanding. It's just a family trying to get through the day.

Women don’t wake up with three kids. She chose to have one, then two, then three.. which is lovely but why does it garner all this sympathy? I’ve never felt entitled to such treatment when out with my children.

Yeah so many passive agressive people about now.

To be honest, I expect the last thing that mum needed to hear was someone moaning at her for something so petty.
At least she was giving the child something to play with that wasn't a screen.....

That's the problem, though, isn't it?

Anti-social behaviour pretty much encouraged by a parent, so the child does not learn to behave appropriately in shared public space. So child grows up assuming - because their ignorant parents haven't taught them any better - that inflicting whatever noise s/he wants to in shared public space is acceptable. Brought up to be thoughtless and selfish.

It's not acceptable.

Some parents are thoughtless, over-entitled knob heads. And passing on their stupidity to the next generation. 🙄

It’s just one more thing to take into account when using public transport. 🤷‍♀️

It’s a kid with a toy.
I’d hate to live a life where I got so worked up about a kid playing with a toy.

Just as some PPs might want to urge us to cut some slack for a busy mother with small children, what about others on the bus who might also need consideration?

It's why we have "manners" - suggestions for behaviour which show consideration for others over one's own impulses for self-indulgence. It's quite possible for a small child to be taught in simple ways that they're in public and shared space.

Another poster: Page 27 | Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done? | Mumsnet

Learn to drive and get a car. Or stop whining about public transport. There's a clue in the name.

💯

Would you rather the kid was screaming instead?

It's public transport.. learn to drive if you want quiet or get some ear pods in your ears.
You were a child once .

Get some noise cancelling headphones and stop bing "that Internet Karen"....