Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mother is selfish and a bit of a knobhead?

202 replies

CarrotCrusader · 08/10/2025 08:30

A woman got on the bus this morning with a few kids. The youngest in a buggy had a toy with buttons that made sound effects. It was loud. This child did not stop pressing these buttons. I looked at the mother as if to say wtf but it didn't work. Aibu to think what is wrong with people? I wouldn't dream of letting my kid in an inside public space with such a toy.

OP posts:
Blablibladirladada · 08/10/2025 18:46

Sure. If the child screams…is it better?

No…I mean I hear you. Loud noise. In the morning…why don’t you take your car? Or a bike? Or walk? Or a taxi?

Americano75 · 08/10/2025 18:50

Well, hopefully this particular mother isn't on mumsnet and getting to read some truly delightful insights into her character as well as her parenting skills. On the bright side I'm sure it's taken the edge off your trauma op.

Wildefish · 08/10/2025 19:07

MellowPinkDeer · 08/10/2025 08:36

I hate these selfish people who have zero self awareness. See also : people who talk on speaker phone / listen to music / watch iPads without headphones.

massive dickheads.

Im with you OP.

Ever thought you are the one being selfish expecting a mother with several kids to kerp a toddler quiet. Just saying…

BossingItBecky · 08/10/2025 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fiveofthem · 08/10/2025 20:00

Nice use of a misogynistic slur there @Shotokan101

DingDongJingle · 08/10/2025 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IWantAShitzu · 08/10/2025 20:04

My 15 month old is completely blind, so only has noisy toys. I would have turned it up louder if I saw you glaring at me.

Fiflaboeuf · 08/10/2025 20:20

vivainsomnia · 08/10/2025 12:04

This is what it comes down to. Are we expected, as individuals, to assume that anyone being a nuisance, is being so due to difficulties that they can't control and the responsibility is on everyone else to show empathy and therefore cope with the nuisance in our own way?

Or is the responsibility on the person causing the nuisance to accept that the responsibility is on them to do everything to avoid it reduce the level of nuisance on everyone else?

Ultimately, it it the responsibility of say 100 persons to cope and accept the nuisance of 1 person, or the one person to think of the impact on the 100 others. Because it is inevitable that put of the 100, there will also be people who have their own struggle expecting the other 99, including the 1 causing the nuisance, to put their needs first.

There goes the problem. Nobody cares about the impact of their actions or choices on others because they are focused on an the expectation of compassion towards them. This approach turn people into a society that values self-centeredness while proclaiming the value of compassion. We then wonder why are constantly facing with some sort of conflict.

If people saw it their duty to minimise any disturbance on others, we would be much more likely to evolve in a society that is willing to express compassion the the fewer who are genuinely unable to make any arrangement whilst appreciating the efforts made by everyone else.

Right-o a loud toy on a bus is really the root of all the problems in the world. 😂

Barnbrack · 08/10/2025 20:21

Thank God you were there to give pointed dirty looks to the mother entertaining the small child you're a saint.

Barnbrack · 08/10/2025 20:23

Crochetandtea · 08/10/2025 14:35

You’re very fortunate you wouldn’t notice this. Noises like this cause me actual emotional stress. People are allowed to chat and laugh and babies can cry but other people’s music, TikTok videos and noisy kid’s toys don’t belong in public spaces.

Show quote history

How nice of you to tell others how they are allowed to conduct themselves.

Gymnopedie · 08/10/2025 20:27

Personally I think intolerant, judgemental people are the selfish arseholes

Why is it always the ones who are quiet and cause no trouble who are expected to be tolerant? Why are the ones making the noise and bother never expected to be tolerant and understanding of the needs of others?

BossingItBecky · 08/10/2025 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DingDongJingle · 08/10/2025 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’m actually really nice.

Americano75 · 08/10/2025 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That's disgusting. Get and grip of yourself.

LouiseK93 · 08/10/2025 21:43

Maybe it was either that or screaming?

Original poster
CarrotCrusader · 08/10/2025 22:28

pushthebuttonnn · 08/10/2025 13:40

Omg the posts here get more and more ridiculous every day 😆 Imagine we actually had problems like the women in Congo who are being raped & tortured daily.

It's not comparable though.

OP posts:
Original poster
CarrotCrusader · 08/10/2025 22:30

IWantAShitzu · 08/10/2025 20:04

My 15 month old is completely blind, so only has noisy toys. I would have turned it up louder if I saw you glaring at me.

This child wasn't blind.

OP posts:
restingbitchface30 · 08/10/2025 22:31

I would love to see a child playing nicely with a toy and id be thinking good job about the mum. Are u always this miserable? You are entitled to a child free life but not a child free world, it costs nothing to be kind.

Barnbrack · 08/10/2025 22:31

CarrotCrusader · 08/10/2025 22:30

This child wasn't blind.

Show quote history

Why are you more important than a baby or their mum? Also calling someone a knobhead? Are you a 14 year old boy?

PeasePuddingPottage · 08/10/2025 22:37

I had a clip on steering wheel for my buggy and used it for my two oldest kids. I had to endlessly sing, dance chat and talk and that stupid wheel with its noises. It was either that or endless screaming tantrums. Can't win can you. Have the annoying toy equals bad. Talking to the kid endless chatter about biology, landscapes anything = performative. Look at your phone briefly = neglect 😂

IWantAShitzu · 08/10/2025 22:43

CarrotCrusader · 08/10/2025 22:30

This child wasn't blind.

Show quote history

How do you know?
the amount of people who don’t realise my son is blind until I tell them is actually quite surprising.

what I’m saying is, you have no idea of the situation. Please do better things with your time than to slate mothers who are quite clearly trying their best.

Lavender14 · 08/10/2025 22:45

Darner · 08/10/2025 08:51

She’s an idiot with no manners, raising her children to be the same. I despair.

What an incredible amount of information about her parenting you've gleaned from one teeny snapshot of this womans life.

I think op, of course it's annoying but shit happens in life and sometimes as a parent you need to pick your battles. Perhaps the kid wasn't feeling great and she still had to get the others to school or appointments and knew they'd never sit quietly without their toy of choice so picked the lesser evil, perhaps the child has a current fixation with that particular toy. There's plenty of noisy people on a bus and I'm curious if you'd have sat giving evils to a bloke talking loudly on the phone or a group of lads playing music? Or if you save your passive aggressive approach for women and children who you think will be an easy target?

Lavender14 · 08/10/2025 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tell us you're internalising misogyny without telling us you're internalising misogyny. @bossingitbecky

DingDongJingle · 08/10/2025 22:49

Lavender14 · 08/10/2025 22:48

Tell us you're internalising misogyny without telling us you're internalising misogyny. @bossingitbecky

Show quote history

There’s nothing internalised about their misogyny!

GiveDogBone · 08/10/2025 23:22

Jeez, it’s a bus not a fucking library. Just put some headphones in and listen to some music.