To think this mother is selfish and a bit of a knobhead?

[CarrotCrusader]

A woman got on the bus this morning with a few kids. The youngest in a buggy had a toy with buttons that made sound effects. It was loud. This child did not stop pressing these buttons. I looked at the mother as if to say wtf but it didn't work. Aibu to think what is wrong with people? I wouldn't dream of letting my kid in an inside public space with such a toy.

I don’t love listening to noisy toys and would never give my children an iPad or a phone, so I understand the annoyance to some degree. But, I have a feeling the mother OP is referring to would have managed to annoy many people on the bus simply by existing with her children, as this thread demonstrates.

I have a professional job where people are generally respectful towards me and take me seriously. I am also a (clearly feckless and selfish) mum to three children aged 4 and under. I am treated so differently whilst on maternity leave - it really is enlightening. My children are generally very well behaved in public places, and we enjoy chatting on the bus. But it still visibly riles other people just to see someone with a pram or to hear a toddler laugh.

Perhaps we should stay under house arrest and someone can start a thread about the mum who never takes her children anywhere?

You don’t know her circumstances. And yes it’s annoying for the people on the train. That mother lives with it perhaps 24 hrs a day.

My then three year old once treated the bus to a rousing rendition of "Doe a Deer" from The Sound Of Music, then declared how wonderful everyone thought his singing was - perhaps you would have preferred that OP?

Sounds fab...I'd have given a standing ovation!

This! We have no idea of what her morning was like!
although I personally don’t do this with my little one…

There are lots of alternatives in between screaming and a noisy toy.

So you just passively aggressively stared and judged.

Let's imagine the noise of a tantrum when the toy is taken away if you'd actually been adult enough to ask.... No, that wouldn't be great either would it. Let's imagine how hard getting multiple kids in/out/back on bus might be and maybe that this is her 5 minutes to just zone out and breathe whilst trying not to feel a woman clearly staring at you and judging

That's what the bloody toy on the pushchair is for to play with it.

Whats she's supposed to do take it off the pram?

First World Problems.

Was once on a busy train for 90 mins with a poor toddler trying desperately to hold onto the pole near the door where presumably dgm was stood holding the buggy. Every time the train jolted the buggy near the pole she pulled the dc back. That poor dc sobbed just wanting to hold on. It took all of my self control not to shout at her to Just Let Him Hold On You Nasty Bitch...

Harsh. The only knobhead is you for being such a judgemental person and then writing a post about it. People like you is what is wrong in this world 😑
surprised you actually travel on public transport with your attitude.

You'll need to be more explicit with your condemnation.... 🤔

How the fuck is the choice screaming child Vs noisy child.

I had 3 under 4... My eldest is now 8! They have never been given a phone, tablet, screen, noisy thing in a restaurant, while waiting for siblings in a club/swimming lesson or in the car (except for journeys over two hours long). Arguably they didn't do a lot of public transport because we live in the arse end of nowhere. They are not always perfectly behaved, but they are pretty damn good.

Giving the child a toy, yes. A noisy toy in a public place is a hard no.

The people telling OP she is wrong reflect everything that's wrong with society.

I say cut the rest of the world some slack! I was a single mum working shifts as a student nurse. My son got a toy or a book which entertained him and did not disturb whether wide

She could give him a quiet toy or ...gasp ..a picture book appropriate for his age to look at.
I was a single parent . It really irks me the way some parents think that the world works needs to be affected by their child

You only saw a snapshot of her life. Maybe she would normally take the toy away but not that day. Cut her some slack!

Yeah I agree it’s really antisocial, there are plenty of non electronic toys and they are such loud intrusive sounds.

Earbuds or headphones.

I love the idea of public transport and environmentally great. The only problem is other people.

They talk rubbish, sniff and whine. Everyone else's children are sweet or really, really annoying.

Headphones. Hang the expense and get noise cancelling.

Yet again, poor behaviour condoned on mumsnet.
I"m talking about the mum, not the child.

The child has a right to be in a public space too. It's a child, a bit of tolerance goes along way and it is you who doesn't have any. What would you expect her to do? She has given a young child a toy to occupy them whilst on a journey early in the morning. Any toy is better than a sound of a crying child and many such toys don't have a lower volume setting. There is noise on public transport.

Yes she does sound like a knobhead but there are more important things in life than worrying about this. Let it go ...

YABU

Get yourself some noise cancelling headphones and mind your own business.

Exactly! It's completely her decision to have that many kids-can't believe the rest of the world has to put up with the consequences of that and she gets nothing but sympathy! Unbelievable.

That would drive me mad OP-easy for everyone here to say it wouldn't bother them but I used to work in a shop that sold toys like that and it did my head in. Although it was usually the parents pressing them over and over again not the kids!

I don't see the issue . Buses are hardly quiet places. People talk loudly to each other (I've heard some great conversations on buses!). They take phone calls, babies cry, a toy that's keeps a child in a buggy happy isn't particularly offensive.