Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do a day out without newborn weeks after birth?

259 replies

honeymelina · 07/10/2025 13:40

There is a big family get together coming soon that my family has been planning for long time. Many relatives will come, there will be food and children playing, all that kind of thing. It is exactly the type of day my DS would love and I would like to go too. With the drive and everything we would be out most of the day, maybe from 10 in the morning until around 4.

By that time the baby will be around one or two weeks old. I am being induced for medical reasons in next few days so the time is already quite certain, let’s not get into that. I am not really worried about if I can manage physically, my mum will be there and I can sit down if I need, but I think more if it is realistic to leave the newborn at home with DH for that long. He is fine with it but says when baby is here I probably will not want to go.

For feeding I can pump while we are out and also leave some milk already at home, so that part is okay. But I keep thinking maybe it is too soon to be away the whole day. The main thing is I would like to spend some nice time with DS and it’s an important event for my family. I would not take the baby because it is not really the right place, and I cannot just send DS without me.

So AIBU to think I can do it? Has anyone done something similar soon after birth and it was alright?

OP posts:
Puzzledtoday · 08/10/2025 08:59

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 08:57

There's no reason she can't this time Parent hood isn't meant to be a bloody prison.

Show quote history

Caring for your newborn baby is only a prison if you decide to make it one.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/10/2025 08:59

You can’t drive that soon after a c section though

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 09:00

Peonies12 · 08/10/2025 08:57

My baby would never take a bottle, so just consider that. It's also advised not to introduce a bottle too early if you want to breastfeed, as it can be confusing. I'd personally not go, or take the baby with you, and all go. At that age, they can just be in a sling on you for the day. They'll be feeding very frequently at that age, so you'd need to be pumping all the time whilst you're away, so surely won't be more hassle just having the baby with you. I couldn't sit down a week after my birth due to an infection in my episiotomy, so be prepared for that!

Edited

All the people who say their babies would never take bottles. Seeing as a very tiny % of babies are exclusively breastfeed by 6 months ( under 2%i believe) shoes the majority of babies DO take bottles. Not necessarily from mum if they smell milk

LivingOnCoffee567 · 08/10/2025 09:22

If you formula feed from day one, totally possible.

Breastfeeding and pumping (I've done both) at 2 weeks post partum? Absolutely no way.

LivingOnCoffee567 · 08/10/2025 09:25

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 09:00

All the people who say their babies would never take bottles. Seeing as a very tiny % of babies are exclusively breastfeed by 6 months ( under 2%i believe) shoes the majority of babies DO take bottles. Not necessarily from mum if they smell milk

Show quote history

No, people are saying exclusively breastfed babies don't take a bottle. Women eventually give up breastfeeding by 6 months which is how you get to that figure. But doing both bottle and boob at the same time is challenging.

And at 2 weeks you actually risk baby developing a bottle preference which if you want to breastfeed would be devastating.

Worriedalltheday · 08/10/2025 09:34

Gruffporcupine · 07/10/2025 13:50

Each to their own but think this is wild. A newborn needs Mum more than you or DS need to go to a party. Can't someone else take DS? This is not to mention still potentially being battered from the birth and not able to manage

This. The need to show that you are superwoman and can up and jump a week after birth is just ridiculous. If your mum is there, can’t she just watch him.
also you’re assuming that the baby will just take a bottle.

Dopeydoraz · 08/10/2025 09:36

Tell your husband to take your son. Easiest all round for everyone

SalamiSammich · 08/10/2025 10:05

The baby will be fine but I don't think it's in the their best interest so I wouldn't do it.

I think the new baby should be your priority in the first 2 weeks of its life, same as your firstborn was.

PloddingAlong21 · 08/10/2025 10:55

I would go.

It will be nice for your son who may also be a tad jealous, so good reassurance for him too.

Baby is with dad. I wouldn’t leave it with anyone else personally, but dad absoloutely yes.

Baby won’t even know, so go and enjoy your other son. Probably sleep most of the time. It’s only 6 hours.

PercyPigInAWig · 08/10/2025 11:02

LivingOnCoffee567 · 08/10/2025 09:22

If you formula feed from day one, totally possible.

Breastfeeding and pumping (I've done both) at 2 weeks post partum? Absolutely no way.

But even if you do formula feed, at that stage a newborn and their mother would be better off together than apart. It’s still early days (for both).

dijonketchup · 08/10/2025 11:11

One or two WEEKS, not months?! I was still crying in my bed two weeks in with both mine!

Milk only comes in day 2-3, so maybe four days in to breastfeeding, you’d be leaving them to try and get feed from a bottle with dad?! Not even back to birth weight yet?!! 😳

Women are so different, aren’t they. You’ve done it before, so you do you, don’t try to decide based on others.

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 11:27

LivingOnCoffee567 · 08/10/2025 09:25

No, people are saying exclusively breastfed babies don't take a bottle. Women eventually give up breastfeeding by 6 months which is how you get to that figure. But doing both bottle and boob at the same time is challenging.

And at 2 weeks you actually risk baby developing a bottle preference which if you want to breastfeed would be devastating.

Show quote history

Hmm as I previously stated by DD introduced one bottle a day from a few days old. That her husband gave the baby with her out of room. Still case now at nearly a year and baby breastfeeds from her

Babyboomtastic · 08/10/2025 11:27

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 09:00

All the people who say their babies would never take bottles. Seeing as a very tiny % of babies are exclusively breastfeed by 6 months ( under 2%i believe) shoes the majority of babies DO take bottles. Not necessarily from mum if they smell milk

Show quote history

The criteria on exclusive breastfeeding is so extreme this doesn't really represent how many women are feeding. In my friendship circle, I know only one woman who met the criteria for exclusive breastfeeding. Some didn't because of mix feeding - so as you say, they took bottles, others because they introduced food early, either on medical advice or otherwise. Or they gave some formula in those first few days, some of them on only one occasion. These were all women who ended up breastfeeding until well into toddlerhood btw. I gave some formula in the first week (out of choice, I wanted to mix feed) until my baby refused the bottle. She then breastfed for 2.5 years. The numbers are misleading basically.

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 11:32

Babyboomtastic · 08/10/2025 11:27

The criteria on exclusive breastfeeding is so extreme this doesn't really represent how many women are feeding. In my friendship circle, I know only one woman who met the criteria for exclusive breastfeeding. Some didn't because of mix feeding - so as you say, they took bottles, others because they introduced food early, either on medical advice or otherwise. Or they gave some formula in those first few days, some of them on only one occasion. These were all women who ended up breastfeeding until well into toddlerhood btw. I gave some formula in the first week (out of choice, I wanted to mix feed) until my baby refused the bottle. She then breastfed for 2.5 years. The numbers are misleading basically.

Show quote history

Go into many areas and hardly any babies are breastfeed at all by 6 weeks. Especially as their free f or nearly ormula for many of the parents there. The midwife tells the mums about it often before baby is even born

UpWhereTheyWalk · 08/10/2025 14:12

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 09:00

All the people who say their babies would never take bottles. Seeing as a very tiny % of babies are exclusively breastfeed by 6 months ( under 2%i believe) shoes the majority of babies DO take bottles. Not necessarily from mum if they smell milk

Show quote history

I breastfed for 14 months. My baby only ever had one bottle of formula, actually when he was 2 weeks old because I was exhausted and needed a sleep. We slept for a much needed few hours after he drank it down, then he woke up constipated. I was in no state to leave the house that day let alone go to a family party.

I was advised by the health visitor not to mess around with a breastpump for the first 6 weeks to build a good milk supply and by the time I tried it and actually pumped some milk my baby was then only interested in breastfeeding and refused bottles. So that one bottle of formula at 2 weeks old was the only bottle he ever had. He also spat out dummies.

At 5 and a bit months I gave him solid food, water in a sippy cup and carried on feeding him but obviously much less once he was on solids, so at that point I could have left him for a day. At 2 weeks there was no chance.

I think op should do whatever is right for them but there are most certainly babies who won't take bottles.

Notagain75 · 08/10/2025 14:16

I think it would be much better to take the baby with you. I wouldn't want to be away from a newborn for that length of time.
But also you may not be able to drive that near to the birth and definitely not if you end up having a section

HGSurvivor1 · 08/10/2025 14:21

Only you can decide if you're happy being away from your baby so soon after birth. In general I think newborns benefit from being with their mums, but nonetheless are fine with other caregivers, so leaving the baby with your husband isn't intrinsically an issue.

The issue is that if your baby is only 1 or 2 weeks old I think it is incredibly unlikely your milk supply will be sufficiently established for you to build up a stash which will last most of a day, especially if the baby is cluster feeding. You'll need to introduce a bottle or so a day from the start so that you know the baby will take a bottle, and be prepared with formula in case it is needed. You will also need to be religious about pumping so you don't get mastitis.

If you end up having a c-section you will not be able to drive (even if you feel well enough check that your insurance would still be valid).

Its very hard to imagine an event which is for families with kids but excludes your husband and baby from attending, but assuming this truly the case I would play it by ear and decide a day or two before if you feel up to it and are confident the feeding will work out.

Notagain75 · 08/10/2025 14:24

Frankblackwife · 07/10/2025 14:50

Left my first to go to a gig at a couple of months old, she was fine with my sister.

A couple of months is very different from a couple of weeks.
A baby that tiny will still be establishing feeding and her supply will also be up and down. The baby is likely to be constantly feeding.
I know I could never have pumped enough milk for a full day two weeks after birth and if i hadn't fed the baby for a full day my breasts would have been agony . And also my children wouldn't take a bottle anyway.

HGSurvivor1 · 08/10/2025 14:26

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 09:00

All the people who say their babies would never take bottles. Seeing as a very tiny % of babies are exclusively breastfeed by 6 months ( under 2%i believe) shoes the majority of babies DO take bottles. Not necessarily from mum if they smell milk

Show quote history

A baby who has been exclusively breastfed for two weeks may not take a bottle. Introducing a bottle can also affect breastfeeding; it's easier for babies to get milk from a bottle than the breast, so many develop a preference which can make them reluctant to breastfeed. It then becomes a cycle which can lead to babies refusing to nurse at all.

Combination feeding is possible but it takes careful management and I think OP will struggle to hit that balance in the short timeframe available.

Minnie798 · 08/10/2025 14:27

I think it's fine and you can always leave early if you decide to.
Not everyone does the whole 'bubble' thing and for lots of mums, 'business as usual' is the preference, especially when it's not your first baby.
Make your plans, you can always change them if circumstances change.

RubySquid · 08/10/2025 14:36

UpWhereTheyWalk · 08/10/2025 14:12

I breastfed for 14 months. My baby only ever had one bottle of formula, actually when he was 2 weeks old because I was exhausted and needed a sleep. We slept for a much needed few hours after he drank it down, then he woke up constipated. I was in no state to leave the house that day let alone go to a family party.

I was advised by the health visitor not to mess around with a breastpump for the first 6 weeks to build a good milk supply and by the time I tried it and actually pumped some milk my baby was then only interested in breastfeeding and refused bottles. So that one bottle of formula at 2 weeks old was the only bottle he ever had. He also spat out dummies.

At 5 and a bit months I gave him solid food, water in a sippy cup and carried on feeding him but obviously much less once he was on solids, so at that point I could have left him for a day. At 2 weeks there was no chance.

I think op should do whatever is right for them but there are most certainly babies who won't take bottles.

Show quote history

Its expressed milk my dd gives in bottles. Not sure how formula comes into it.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 08/10/2025 14:40

I did similar ten days after birth with my first. I was desperate for the break. No issues.

AnotherEmma · 08/10/2025 15:21

SalamiSammich · 08/10/2025 10:05

The baby will be fine but I don't think it's in the their best interest so I wouldn't do it.

I think the new baby should be your priority in the first 2 weeks of its life, same as your firstborn was.

This

DearDenimEagle · 08/10/2025 18:40

Normally, I wouldn’t want to leave a new baby a couple weeks old, but it’s going to be a big change for DS and I think some time with you, doing something wants to do is important at a time he might be feeling pushed aside, replaced, less important. Reassurance he is still important. There are many ways to do this, of course, but a special day out is something he might remember. So long as you have organised feeding, I don’t think the baby will come to harm with his father present. They can do extra bonding.
Only you will know how it’s going to feel at the time and it might not be practical when the time comes, so I’d keep things flexible for now. No promises either way.

ELMhouse · 08/10/2025 18:43

Why not? I went on my daughter’s school trip for the day when I had just have my other daughter, she was two weeks old. She was with her father, I had pumped and left lots of bottles. Dad and daughter had a lovely day and I kept my promise to my other daughter to join her on her school trip (reasons that I needed to attended not my husband). I really can’t see what all the big fuss is about. No child newborn or not is more important than another. You will have a lovely day with DS and your husband will get one on one time with newborn!