To do a day out without newborn weeks after birth?

[honeymelina]

There is a big family get together coming soon that my family has been planning for long time. Many relatives will come, there will be food and children playing, all that kind of thing. It is exactly the type of day my DS would love and I would like to go too. With the drive and everything we would be out most of the day, maybe from 10 in the morning until around 4.

By that time the baby will be around one or two weeks old. I am being induced for medical reasons in next few days so the time is already quite certain, let’s not get into that. I am not really worried about if I can manage physically, my mum will be there and I can sit down if I need, but I think more if it is realistic to leave the newborn at home with DH for that long. He is fine with it but says when baby is here I probably will not want to go.

For feeding I can pump while we are out and also leave some milk already at home, so that part is okay. But I keep thinking maybe it is too soon to be away the whole day. The main thing is I would like to spend some nice time with DS and it’s an important event for my family. I would not take the baby because it is not really the right place, and I cannot just send DS without me.

So AIBU to think I can do it? Has anyone done something similar soon after birth and it was alright?

If you only want yes or no answers then no. But I should point out here that my sister’s husband took their eldest alone on an extended family holiday from our side because he loves her and his kids. Your husband being unwilling to do that for you makes me question what else he’s not doing for you.

Why do you have to commit now? See how it is on the day. Your baby might not take to the bottle, or you might be feeling awful, or there might be medical issues, or whatever.

I had an immensely visceral need to be with my babies when they were tiny. I can’t imagine overriding that. But if you don’t, fair play.

I wouldn't, but you could I suppose. But don't promise DS anything as you don't know how you will be feeling by then.

I can't fathom though why an activity would be suitable for a postpartum mother but certainly not a baby, and DS can't possibly go with anyone else. Very odd.

Yeah me too. You won't be worried about leaving him/her. You'll have lots of help, someone will hold the baby for you while you eat, rest, etc and your family can meet the baby. Then you can relax knowing that you can leave when you like.

For me personally, it would be an absolute no. Baby will be so, so little and will be needing you nearby. I agree with a PP that they need Mama only at that point. Feeding wont be fully established, you may not be able to pump, you'll still be bleeding....it just sounds awful.

It's not unreasonable for you to plan to go but I would be fully prepared to drop out in case you don't want to leave the baby, have a difficult birth or any such reason. If you can go and want to go you're not being unreasonable just keep your options open.

Appears to be the case! Very strange.

He's not said he's unwilling?
To address a few:
it’s my family’s event (my side of the family) and it would be more appropriate for me to go.
no, I can’t take the newborn at all

It's op who says it wouldn't be appropriate for him to take the ds to the party, or for the baby to go to the party at all (with all the other family children).

See this is just passive aggressive. Just say it. What you mean is ‘My bond with my babies was superior to the one you appear to have.’

I have no idea what’s going on with the OP and I don’t really care (as in, it’s just not really that interesting to me) but I don’t like little side swipes like that.

I couldn't have pumped enough for a day at 2 weeks PP, and ds wouldn't have easily taken a bottle and was recovering from tongue tie snip. We'd also had to spend a week in hospital due to birth complications, so would've literally only just got home.
I don't think you can confidently say it will be fine, there are too many variables and I think your son expecting to go then not being able to short notice will be upsetting for him, which is probably why people are asking why you all going or your DH and ds going aren't options

I've no issue at all with you leaving the baby with their other parent, with adequate food and care and everything else.
I'd only say don't go if you don't feel up to it yourself (still bleeding, in pain, whatever) or if once the baby's arrived you feel differently.

I think it’s fine. A newborn needs very little. Just make sure from the off that they are taking a bottle at least once a day so they don’t reject it on the day you are out.

Left my first to go to a gig at a couple of months old, she was fine with my sister.

I went to the theatre with my older son 17 days after a c section - we were gone for most of the day. it was totally fine. To be fair I was bottle feeding though. I’d booked the tickets a year before and it was important for me to have a special day with my older one. I didn’t look back, wasn’t worried!!

2 weeks old? They will be crying for food after couple hours. So is a bit long unless bottle fed already.
Take baby and ds
Or send ds with another family member

It could be a school trip.

Two months old is very different from two weeks old.

Why can’t DH take ds and leave you with baby?

Baby is with Dad so perfectly acceptable. You do you. If baby will drink from a bottle, you're happy to pump during the party and you feel ok about going, go. No one else's opinion counts. But I'd leave it as a "hopefully" in case you have a c/sec, have no sleep the night before, get half a mile down the road before bursting into tears and coming home, just can't face it etc.

Op has already said it isn't an option
It doesn't matter why.
She's asking if X is ok or not, not for people to come up with Y or Z

Holy crap who was that poster who went water skiing or something. It's going to drive me mad.

Mohze. I will double check the name.

This is a really snide (and unconstructive) way to respond to OP’s question.

I didn’t want to leave my newborn for more than a couple of hours - I was exclusively BF and newborn wouldn’t take a bottle.