AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

Are You serious? I had a harpist play at my wedding 15 years ago. I can’t remember exactly how much it cost but it wouldn’t have been too dissimilar to what you’ve been quoted OP. Weddings are expensive and having a talented musician play music at the event is a luxury.

I paid £500 for a string quartet and £1000 for a band.... 20 years ago! She's cheap.

Musicians don’t just do weddings though. I’ve a friend who is an accomplished musician and she is in a band, teaches and does weddings. How far was venue from her home?
If your budget is £100/£150 maybe see if a sixth former or student is interested.

So rude. I don’t think that’s extortionate either.

I'll come and play for you for a hundred quid - I got to Grade 5 about 40 years ago! You get what you pay for.

She is not insecure, she called you out for being cheap.

Yes she was unprofessional and rude. But you weren’t treating her like a professional and obviously touched a raw nerve. It’s a good few hours of her time. She has to plan a suitable program, practice, travel, scrub up to be on show at a wedding, give up half of a day on her weekend.

This is a nice venue and we are nice people

Is 'nice" the new term for entitled and clueless?

I think that quite reasonable. About 10 years ago we paid £1000 for a package which included a pianist during our drinks reception for 2 hours, then 2 hours of pianist plus a singer, and then one of them to dj for a couple hours after.

She will have travel time and costs, and you are paying for her expertise as much as for her time. If you had gone back to her and said 'thanks very much, but unfortunately we can't afford that so will have to say no (and genuinely couldn't, not just trying to bring price down) then that would be fine. But to try to get her to bring her price down just because you feel its too expensive, is not ok. Either you pay that price or you politely decline.

I used to play for services such as weddings and funerals despite not being a "professional pianist". I was just asked by my church to help out as they didnt have a pianist. 100/£150 is very cheap and yes, feels a little disrespectful if you are arguing that it is a reasonable price. Its not just 2 hours, it is hours of practice in the lead up to the day itself

What? A top class musician to play at your wedding?!
Are you serious? That's too cheap. Do you understand the talent, practise and skill required?

If she’s playing before the ceremony and after then she has to charge for the whole duration no just the time she’s playing! Therefore £220 is cheap.

Me too. YABVU & rude

Why were you expecting mates rates when you don't know her? I do think people who don't have experience of any kind of creative art/music/performing etc tend to think that they're doing the person they want to commission a favour.

Your comment about 'money for old rope' shows exactly how much you value what she does.

Me too

97% of people responding think you are being unreasonable OP.
Take the hint.

Obviously! 🤣

Reading your last post I think you’ve got one hell of an attitude. Time to get off your high horse!

OP nobody is a professional 'wedding pianist' as their only job!

They are a musician who takes on a range of gigs, usually as well as teaching or sometimes an unrelated job. A pianist can't get enough gigs in the year just doing weddings- even if you have people advertising as this, it's just one of their revenue streams, none of them do it as their only job.

Bear in mind it doesn't matter if it's one hour or 6, your wedding is the only job they will do that day.

It's also the kind of job everyone thinks they deserve cheap/mates rates, and musicians are forever being offered jobs for free / low wages as it's a 'good opportunity for exposure'. Like you'd expect the caterers etc to give their time for free too.

You’re not a mate though.

Yes. "Old rope" ?

Excellent point

As a musician I feel qualified to say; YABFU!!!

So 'plays in all sorts of places' as a pianist?

It's almost as if she's a professional musician who earns her living playing music 🙄

You didn't "call her out", you were extremely rude and arrogant.

But she's not a professional "wedding pianist"! Is my point! She does other things too!
could not be more irrelevant.

You want her skills, her years of practice, her experience. Pay the price. She can charge what she wants for her time, she could ask for £1000 an hour if she wanted, take it or leave it. She is not any less professional than anyone else.

If you want to pay a tenner, or £50 for an hour, ask a child who's learning the piano.

I was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely.
she was not.

YOU were, and still are.

Good luck to everyone else involved in your wedding, your pretentious requests and limited funds 😂