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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

1000 replies

Bamsmam · 05/10/2025 19:49

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ec5881 · 05/10/2025 20:20

I have played at weddings for years and a) this rate is brill b) you were/are being rude c) the number of people who have this attitude would astound y’all! We are so often asked to play for free/the dreaded “exposure”, which leads me to d) her response is common/pat amongst musicians because we’ve all had this attitude/request all too often (v similar experiences for photographers/other artistic professions). For the past 20 years the price that standard venues pay musicians has largely not increased at all. Spotify has ravaged artists I know. There are so many musicians I know who are really struggling now where they were able to make a living previously. Against this kind of context the attitude here is all the more grating.

CautiousLurker01 · 05/10/2025 20:20

We paid more than that for a string quartet 23 years ago for our wedding. Played at the wedding ceremony, then for an hour at the venue. I appreciate there were 4 of them, but still. £220 is very reasonable.

CoffeeCantata · 05/10/2025 20:21

CracklingFlames · 05/10/2025 20:02

Reverse!

It’s got to be!

And I sing in a choir which performs at weddings. We only do about 3 or 4 items and it takes a long time to practise even that. This woman would have to find and practise about 20 pieces for a 2hour+ slot.

Northerngirl821 · 05/10/2025 20:21

You sound rude and entitled and I’m glad she put you in your place.

GloryFades · 05/10/2025 20:21

This can’t be real because that’s a bargain.

EveningSpread · 05/10/2025 20:21

£220 is cheap. She’s a professional with a skill that takes a long time to master. If you don’t like the price you don’t have to buy it. I’m guessing you don’t go into Tesco or clothes shops and try to haggle?

She probably gets this all the time from tightwads who want perfect music but don’t value the skill, and expect someone to give up hours of their day and “play a few tunes” for a pittance.

TheatricalLife · 05/10/2025 20:21

I think that's really cheap. Another one for team pianist. £100 is laughable, I'm actually shocked you think that would be a reasonable price 😂😳

HotAsSatansBalls · 05/10/2025 20:22

Can we nominate the OP for CF of the year? I’d be telling the pianist her rates are far too low and it’s a miracle the Musicians Union isn’t after her with a big stick!

SauvignonBlanche · 05/10/2025 20:22

That’s hilarious - good on her! 😂
#TeamPianist

P.S. Can you post the details and location of your plumber?

youve987456 · 05/10/2025 20:22

Why would you expect mate's rates when you don't know her? It might not be her full time job but she is good enough to do it part time and should get paid for what she does, not the fact it is part time.
Everyone is telling you thay you were rude but you still don't see it. You sound like an entitled nightmare.

Cheeseandquackers21 · 05/10/2025 20:22

Hahaa good for her! You asked for aibu buy not listening to responses here. You were the rude one. Maybe hire a teenager if youre that poor.

PeachySmile2 · 05/10/2025 20:23

That is NOT expensive for two hours. You were rude to tell her it was, but she was even ruder in her response to you. Not very professional.

CoffeeCantata · 05/10/2025 20:23

ec5881 · 05/10/2025 20:20

I have played at weddings for years and a) this rate is brill b) you were/are being rude c) the number of people who have this attitude would astound y’all! We are so often asked to play for free/the dreaded “exposure”, which leads me to d) her response is common/pat amongst musicians because we’ve all had this attitude/request all too often (v similar experiences for photographers/other artistic professions). For the past 20 years the price that standard venues pay musicians has largely not increased at all. Spotify has ravaged artists I know. There are so many musicians I know who are really struggling now where they were able to make a living previously. Against this kind of context the attitude here is all the more grating.

So frustrating! If people don’t want to pay proper rates, there are plenty of other ways to have music nowadays.

They wouldn’t expect the food or flowers to be free.

Branleuse · 05/10/2025 20:23

Why dont you just have music playing through a speaker? You dont have to have a pianist.

If you want an actual musician to play at your wedding, then it costs.
I think you were rude to tell your friends friend that it was too expensive, but she gave a funny reply back.

Inthebleakmidwinter1 · 05/10/2025 20:24

Just out of interest how much were you hoping to pay?

JustStopItNorasaurus · 05/10/2025 20:24

God you expected mates rates?

OP is indeed a CF.

Justgorgeous · 05/10/2025 20:24

Money for old rope ? That is cheap.

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2025 20:24

You were rude op
If you apologised for wating he time nd said it was out of your budget then fair enough but to tell her she's charging too much wow

Bumdrops · 05/10/2025 20:24

Money for old rope !!!

cheeky fucker

stream Spotify through your phone - just as classy as your attitude

#teampianist

Sunshineismyfavourite · 05/10/2025 20:24

Mates rates? But you don't know her.

Planning what she plays, organising music, travelling to and from the venue, playing for over 2 hours. £220 is very reasonable.

YABVU to expect her to turn up and play a few tunes - money for old rope!

nocoolnamesleft · 05/10/2025 20:25

That sounds like a bargain. And you were most definitely rude first.

Cornflakegirl7 · 05/10/2025 20:25

hellotomrw · 05/10/2025 19:55

£220 is cheap. I think you deserved the response you got

I think It's cheap too-despite knowing absolutely nothing about what these things usually cost as I have never required one, I would expect to pay more than that.

She was unprofessional though IMO. If that were me and was told my services were too expensive, I would probably say 'I am sorry, I can't go lower than that, I hope you find something that suits your requirements' or similar.

Netcurtainnelly · 05/10/2025 20:25

Your the rude one. I'm glad she told you.

SL2924 · 05/10/2025 20:26

She’s not insecure because you called her out. She came back at you because you were very rude and CF.. Most of the people on this thread have told you how rude you were and it’s still not sinking in, is it.

Lovelamps · 05/10/2025 20:26

She wasn't very pleasant but you really should have just replied to thank her for her quote and let her know you'd decided against it.
The thing is she would need to be there for hours even if just playing a little bit every now and again. Also as she pointed out you are paying for her musical talent and skills that have taken years to perfect. It's never a good thing to disrespect that which it appears you did by commenting on the price. Haggling was never going to end well. Id just forget it and not mention it to friend .

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