AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

I’d google that, but am slightly nervous of what might come back 😂😂

seems very reasonable to me you are out of touch!

Only read the OP's posts but what entitlement!

Yes, you are paying for the years of practice but also the fact that if she plays for your wedding, she can't do anything else that day. There could be a 4 hour gig that she has to turn down.

Also factor in the cost of the music. You can't source everything free of charge - composers need to be paid too. If she can't source the music, she might have to transcribe it by ear - as a trained music teacher who is good at this, I guarantee it takes hours!

Who paid for the instrument? Have you seen the price of decent keyboards with weighted keys, plus a stand and possibly an amplifier? They need to be transported.

She wasn't rude, she treated your unwillingness to pay a very decent amount with the derision it deserves. Team pianist here.

Pianist sounds hilarious! It was a very fair price I think.

A fairly prestigious venue near me put out a request for musicians for an event. They explained that they couldn't pay much but it would be good experience and exposure for the grateful performers.

The young adult professional musician in my family was one of many who told them how disrespectful that was. If you have spent thousands of hours when growing up practicing, then several years at Music College you command a good fee, you do not perform for peanuts.

OP just put a CD on.

Exactly.

The op was rude to question the fee. She could have said nothing at all and looked elsewhere.

It's also ridiculous to compare a pianist to a plumber or any other job. The fact that this woman plays at venues other than weddings is neither here nor there, she is a professional musician.

Money for old rope??? Oh dear 😅

so you where looking a freebie prob using the exposure line as payment and she didn't like it shocker

Classic mumsnet. 97% of nearly 5000 people say YABU, then post keeps on with no I'm not.

Maybe accept that you might be more of a wedding mix-tape kinda girl.

I can't get past the 'money for old rope' comment.

You were rude so she was rude back - good for her.

You want a professional service then you pay professional rates. It's really that simple.

Unpaid overtime is not the norm but a clear breach of the employment contract if your contract is for say a 40hr week and you’re expected to work an additional 5 hours unpaid.

The employer can be successfully sued in that instance by the employee and prosecuted by HMRC if the employee is on NMW.

Please don’t try and offer any more advice based on ignorance of the law. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Your arithmetic is appalling as your manners

I agree with everything you have said except for calling a pianist a tradesperson. We are not tradespeople, we are professionals. This is not snobbery, but a difference in terminology. Professionals have a recognised profession while tradespeople ply a trade. Not better or worse, just different.

You were rude first she was just responding with the same tone you used.

As a physiotherapist, I had a skill and was paid nowhere near that. But my skill was an undervalued one, and was part of why I retired.

I have another skill (tarot reading) which brings in at least double my hourly physio rate but I only want to read for people who value the service, so I do other work for my day-to-day expenses. I charge an absolute fortune for my tarot readings. Keeps away the curiously silly and the piss-takers.

If I could play piano, I'd do the same.

I can’t believe how much you’ve doubled down on your point of view. Be humble OP. You’ve acted like a twat.

Alternatively if she is completely
over charging you will be able to find loads of other pianist willing to do it for less, but you haven’t have you? Why might that be?

#teampianist

That's only the case if you are low paid hourly worker. Most profession/senior contracts say whilst the the core hours are X you are expected to work to the hours needed to fulfil the role. Every contract I have ever had has said that. Law firms are some of the worst at expecting people to work all hours of the day.

A surgeon might only take an hour to perform an operation. Should she get paid £15 or should the pay reflect the skill they trained for years for

YABU - It’s not just 2 hours though. It’s probably 4 hours including travel, setting up/packing down. Then communication regarding which songs you would like and practice. Plus she’ll need insurance and any other related costs.
I think you should get some other quotes for comparison and then let’s reconvene. 🍿

£220 for a pianist? Bite her hand off!
Not seen a quote like that in over 10 years, maybe more.

You're being entirely unreasonable. She's a professional. You don't have to pay if you don't want to, but you're ridiculous thinking she should do anything for cheap.

Like PP, she answered like many of us working for ourselves would like to.

I'm nearly sure that my sister paid €800, to the professional lady who played the harp during the ceremony.
It was beautiful worth every penny.
OP, I'm sure a junior pianist would be happy with your offer.
Is the church supplying the piano too?

As someone with children that have fully completed all their piano gradings, to play in public for an hour or two is a whole other level of proficiency, experience and confidence.

I would not be at all surprised at the price.

You are so in the wrong here! The pianist has to prepare the pieces, travel to the wedding, play for 2 hours and travel back, not to mention the years of training. Plus pay tax etc.

If i were your friend I would be mortified that my friend would do this and act like an entitled bridezilla

I think we can all agree we are relieved this is one wedding we won’t be invited to 😂

YABU. Pay the musical professional what they’re worth or get your Casio keyboard out on the day.