AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

You are being rude and belittling the skill she has.

‘She does other work too.’

She’s literally a professional musician then. That’s her livelihood, not some little hobby or side hustle. You have insulted her and I can see why she replied as she did. You want to book her for 3-4 hours plus travel in the middle of the day so it’s not like she can book other work in. If you had a plumber in for 3 hours you’d be lucky to get away with £220. If you’re looking for a cheap pianist get some kid taking lessons to do it.

Network Rail maintenance team employees get loads of over time usually. Could easily get a few overtime shifts a week if wanted. Bumps up salary really well.

You are irredeemable.

You have said you want 'old rope' and you are getting it.

£220 is already very cheap! Which planet are you on?

I love Mumsnet.

AIBU? YES YOU ARE!
OP's response: I'm clearly not being unreasonable and you are all just as horrid as the nasty pianist.

You are the one who is unbelievably rude, and the fact that you can't see it 🤦

YABU. She’s a skilled musician and it’s not just “a couple of hours”, she has to travel to your venue as well. £220 is quite reasonable!

It sounds like you can’t afford a wedding as grand as you feel entitled to. Perhaps stick some tunes on a Spotify playlist and get a friend to turn it on for the ceremony.

But it's not £220 for an hour is it - to be able to play the songs you want it might be 4-5 hours of practice and planning. It might even be more. If you ask for specific songs - she has to have the music for it - she has to pay for that. Is there a piano at the venue? She might need a piano and a speaker - which she has to pay for. She will need some form of insurance (public liability???) - which she has to pay for. She has to get to the wedding and pay for petrol.

Money for old rope! It takes years of hard work and dedication to be able to play the piano to a professional standard.

Why would you expect mates rates from a person you don’t know?

While I dislike this trend of people being rude to potential clients, the pianist wasn’t wrong and also not that expensive. There’s far more absurd pricing going on.

Why bother posting in AIBU when you clearly think you are not?

I'm a professional pianist and session musician. I'd have done it for £100, but you'd only get the left hand for that, and none of the black keys.

“Money for old rope” “just a few tunes”

Do you really want or value having piano music at your wedding? It’s not mandatory to have it. If you don’t rate it no need to have it!

i think it’s a fair price. She has to travel there and she has to put the music together and she has to practice. It’s at least 2-3 hours work plus travel plus attending itself.

I’m in the minority but I think the pianist was very rude. Yes maybe OP could have just declined the rate with no reason offered, but the pianist made personal derogatory remarks, which the OP did not.

Unreasonable of you to expect ‘mates’ rates though.

Op you are quite dense, entitled and ignorant.

Not read the whole thread but I assume this is a wide up thread.

A professional musician playing professionally is old rope? You were incredibly rude OP. And in being so you threw away a bargain, as, as you already knew, most pianists want to contract for a longer piece of work.

Oh op you sound insufferable. Yes she was rude but in a rather witty way befitting of the situation. You could have declined her offer you didn’t need to try and devalue her work. If you can’t afford it it’s fine but don’t try and get someone to come down on their fees because of it.

Sounds like she was rude with her response.
How did you word your original response to her quote? Was she reacting to an insult?

In my experience, there are ways to bat back an expensive quote that doesn’t offend.

something like ‘oh, I wish we could stretch to that but we have a very limited budget, is there anything we can do?’ tends to land better than ‘eff me, that’s a rip off’.

You’re one of those posters who doesn’t take on board what everyone is telling you. Read the comments.

Brilliant!

I must admit I haven't RT whole FT but I have read all the OP's posts and a fair few replies and the OP seems incredibly unreasonable.
Mate's rates (with the added inane wink) for someone who's not your mate?
Where are all these "personal remarks" and "gutter language"?
I wonder if the OP is trying to get a cake on the cheap because "you'll get great publicity from my IG" or a wedding dress because "I'll leave the tag on and dangling - it'll be like an ad for you".
Or anything really just because "I want a champagne wedding on beer money".

Is this a reverse?

If not, YABVU.

Wow, you've made yourself look a complete fool.

You are unbelievably entitled! She is not your mate, but you expect mate's rates. You think you should have got a bargain because you are nice and its a nice venue. You think you are entitled to be rude to the person you are hiring if you can't afford their rates - and you were rude.

You insulted her and you got the reply you deserved.

You were offered a bargain, as many others have pointed out, you were rude and you have lost that bargain as a result.

Nothing about you in your posts suggests you are a nice person.

I think she probably did offer mates' rates. And then having offered the OP what was already a very low price, the OP said she didn't think she was worth even that much. I'm not surprised she told her to do one.